Flightdeck PA Announcements

[JumpersAway]

While flying into Atlanta, following a rather lengthy ground delay due to weather......A First Officer proceeds to elaborate on the ground delay, the reason for our late start, and he managed to sum it up beautifully over the P.A............"Ladies, and gentlemen- Atlanta's all crapped up".......

 

[TOOL CRIB]

If I hear one more Blackberry Blueberry Strawberry joke I think I'm checking myself into the mental clinic...

 

[aa73]

While flying into Atlanta, following a rather lengthy ground delay due to weather......A First Officer proceeds to elaborate on the ground delay, the reason for our late start, and he managed to sum it up beautifully over the P.A............"Ladies, and gentlemen- Atlanta's all crapped up".......

A First Officer making PA announcements? Now that's all phuked up. I'll quote AA's beautiful PA philosophy as summed up in FM Part 1: "The CA is responsible for all PA announcements." Sorry, they don't pay us F/Os enough to make PAs, LOL.

 

[shamrock]

For anyone who has ever worked at ASA:

You will most definitely remember a guy (if you ever flew with him,) with the initials G.R. Nice guy-just really, really, really loved to be on the mic.

Yep-this guy could literally read War and Peace and The Grapes of Wrath during his PA announcements.

I timed one once: 21 Minutes-no kidding.

My one and only experience with GR was a roundtrip to DHN, he started talking to the pax 5 minutes out of DHN and finally finished on downwind in ATL. Had it been a longer flight I'm sure he could've come up with more...

Nice guy though.

 

[OPECJet]

Told the pax we tried to replace their flight attendant with a golden retriever, but the dog ran off and the pound wouldn't accept the FA. Got chewed out by a passenger for that one.....

Full airplane, no APU, and couldn't spin an engine waiting on a fuel truck, "If there's anything we can do to make your visit with us more miserable, please don't hesitate to press your flight attendant call button". That one was an accident.

 

[JumpersAway]

A First Officer making PA announcements? Now that's all phuked up. I'll quote AA's beautiful PA philosophy as summed up in FM Part 1: "The CA is responsible for all PA announcements." Sorry, they don't pay us F/Os enough to make PAs, LOL.

With us, it's the PM that makes the arrival PA durring the initial descent........

 

[CoATP]

I can't stand "Final Destination" as that refers to life not flight and "Sit Back and Relax" which leaves out the beginning part .... "Even though your flight crew has spikey hair, has an IPOD on high, and wears a backpack ...."

 

[WayBack]

I'm know I'm not as dry as you think, but I'll bet money you aren't as amusing on the PA as you think you are.

I never try to be funny on the PA because you never know who is in back.
No matter what you say, you always offend someone.

 

[jws717]

"Hello ladies this is your captain speaking, we have a slight delay waiting for the fuel truck to arrive. So i would like to take this opportunity to tell you about myself. I am 45 recently divorced, i live in florida and i enjoy long walks on the beach"

 

[crashpad]

....and people wonder why we get so little respect?
This doesn't make people laugh, it makes them realize there are unqualified, inexperienced pimply-faced pud-whackers at the controls.