Flight attendant jokes...please?

[vmc-hound]

I totally know this has been on this site before but I can not find it...

 

[Smacktard]

I totally know this has been on this site before but I can not find it...

It's not a joke but it's funny anyway. About 3 weeks ago, I walked back in to the cabin just after the last passenger deplaned, the FA had a flush face and said "I can't believe I just asked that question." I asked which question? She said she had asked a french speaking guy how to say "Starbucks" in French. Apparently he didn't think she was too bright. I couldn't help but laugh at her, with her.

 

[Smacktard]

I totally know this has been on this site before but I can not find it...

Why'd the Flight Attendant ask the pilot to use a condom?


So she could have a doggy bag to take home.

 

[Cardinal]

Awesome!

 

[av8tor4239]

What do a flight attendant and a pile of dog sh!t have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up..

 

[viking737]

What is the difference between a Cadillac and a flight attendant?







Not everyone has been in a Cadillac........

 

[blzr]

What's the difference between a F/A and a jet engine?


The engine quits whining when you get to the gate.

 

[MetroSheriff]

What's the difference between a FA and a washing machine?


The washing machince won't follow you around for a month after you drop a load in it.

 

[MetroSheriff]

How do you recondition an old FA?


Push in a 5 pound ham and pull out the bone.

 

[MetroSheriff]

How many FAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?


4. 1 to screw it in and 3 to work on the crossword puzzle and bitch about how hard it was.

 

[MetroSheriff]

Why do FAs wear tampons when they skydive?


So they don't whistle all the way down.

 

[V2plus25]

Awesome...

F/A told me one: What's the difference between the cockpit and a condom?


You can only fit 1 d!ck in a condom.

 

[Buschpilot]

throw a coupla waypoints in yer FMS...then:

line them up and tell the F/A you can't leave until they're secure:

BIN

OPEN

 

[EMB170Pilot]

What's the difference between a F/A and a jet engine?


The engine quits whining when you get to the gate.

I thought that was pilot and a jet engine....

 

[gt1900]

What do you do when your f/a starts smoking..........................................................................................................................................................................................Slow down and use lube....

 

[Fly2Scuba]

What separates a nympho from an alcoholic?

-the Cockpit Door

 

[CF34-3B1]

F/A walks into a drug store and tells the clerk she needs 30 condoms, but she wants each one to be a different kind.

The clerk finally gets her 30 condoms sorted and puts them in a bag.

The next month, she comes back in, and buys 30 more, again, each a different kind.

This goes on for several more months.

The one day, she walks in and asks to buy 30 condoms, but this time, she says she wants them all to be the same.

"Why the change, after all these months of buying 30 diferent kinds each month?" the clerk asks.

She smiles at him and says, "Oh, well, I finally got a line."

 

[moscowcfi]

Some of our captains have new flight attendants go in the back of the airplane and take "air samples" in trash bags at various altitudes and parts of the cabin, and then mark the bags with that information. They are then supposed to hand the air samples over to the ramp people upon landing. They regularly fall for this.

 

[KingAirKiddo]

It's not a joke but it's funny anyway. About 3 weeks ago, I walked back in to the cabin just after the last passenger deplaned, the FA had a flush face and said "I can't believe I just asked that question." I asked which question? She said she had asked a french speaking guy how to say "Starbucks" in French. Apparently he didn't think she was too bright. I couldn't help but laugh at her, with her.

LMAO! That is hilarious!

 

[dhc8fo]

What do you call a pregnant flight attendant?



Pilot error