Farting Captain

[saviboy]

What do you do when your captain farts all day and blames it on the 12 year old passenger who's in the back? (assume you are flying a small airplane with no cockpit door)

 

[Jack Mehoff]

hit up the value menu at taco bell and return it back to him! the super powers had the MAD program for a reason

 

[mnalpha]

i just open the forward outflow valve untill the old man says somthings wrong with the pressure, and i say "nope, you just farted"

I fly with jerys kids

 

[indianboy7]

What do you do when your captain farts all day and blames it on the 12 year old passenger who's in the back? (assume you are flying a small airplane with no cockpit door)

Return the volley :bomb: imp:

 

[Thedude]

You need to learn how to use your gasper vents to aim your volley

 

[labbats]

I lodge a handi-wipe under my glasses to form a fart-shield. Then I prank call him at the hotel at 3am.

 

[Knob]

Dump valve!

 

[C425Driver]

Protien bars! Couldn't stand myself when I ate them!

 

[Flapjack]

Myoplex and beer.

You won't even like yourself afterward, but it will immediately stop this little problem with the captain. Save it for an empty flight, or else the passengers will lose it, too.

 

[jetexas]

Break out some of those fish steaks or sardines in a can during flight. If he doens't notice the stench then...he sure will later on!

 

[mamba20]

Spread it around the company that he fired the mud musket in flight. . . . he'll never fart again.

 

[8HourPilot]

Mud Butt

 

[CitationLover]

i just open the forward outflow valve untill the old man says somthings wrong with the pressure, and i say "nope, you just farted"

I fly with jerys kids

uh wrong thing to do. lowering the pressure in the cabin only FORCES more farts to come.

Boyle's Law dictates gas will go from a higher pressure (inside said Captain) to a lower pressure source (higher cabin alt. from using the dumpers).

if anything, DECREASE the cabin alt. will help more.

just another concerned citizen fighting for cleaner, unscented air!

 

[FlyBarneyJets]

Aw quit yer bitchin', suck it up, and deal with it! You'll get PLENTY of time to gross out your FO's after a nice cabbage-and-crabcake lunch after you upgrade!

 

[crashpad]

Eat a 12oz. bag of dried fruit before flight time. They're curred with sulfur-dioxide. It will smell like burning flesh and your captain will be calling in sick from lack of oxygen before the day's over.

 

[blueridge71]

Just put on the oxygen mask and quitcher complainin.

 

[erj-145mech]

Smoke goggles may also be required. Be sure to write up the oxy press low at if required.

 

[airjackson]

Funny, you complain about a farting captain, yet you will freely wade through the feces that consumes this board?

 

[Mesabi Miner]

It wasn't him. It was the lav.

 

[svcta]

What do you do when your captain farts all day and blames it on the 12 year old passenger who's in the back? (assume you are flying a small airplane with no cockpit door)

I ask Gulfstream for my money back.