Farting Captain

[blueridge71]

Just put on the oxygen mask and quitcher complainin.

 

[erj-145mech]

Smoke goggles may also be required. Be sure to write up the oxy press low at if required.

 

[airjackson]

Funny, you complain about a farting captain, yet you will freely wade through the feces that consumes this board?

 

[Mesabi Miner]

It wasn't him. It was the lav.

 

[svcta]

What do you do when your captain farts all day and blames it on the 12 year old passenger who's in the back? (assume you are flying a small airplane with no cockpit door)

I ask Gulfstream for my money back.

 

[greenpickle]

Buddy pair

Try to get buddy paired with a female capt. They will make themselves physically sick before they let one fly. This also can backfire (no pun intended) on you though because you will mind your manners up until certian death. I remember the days of flying with Miss Capt and letting it ride halfway around the plane on the post flight.

GP

 

[belchfire]

Day one-on the commute in eat protien bars.
Kimchee and anchovies for lunch, Nally's chilie
for snacks (you know, the little micowave friendly
cups-the outstations should have microwaves)
and bring some Ham hocks and lima beans for
supper...don't forget the freshly chopped onions
to sprinkle on top liberally...

If you are an FO in something with a curtian
you're probably in a jetpig and if you work for
who I think you work for you can't afford to
eat at the airport anyway and you can bring
all of the aformentioned flatulance inducing
delicacies from home. And maybe even get
some hard boiled eggs at breakfast in MWA.

hehehe...have fun!

 

[Lone Star]

I use the PBE. Kinda takes up a little room but it works!!

 

[captain caveman]

I can't help you. I'm probably the captain.

 

[Captain Overs]

If he denies it ask him to stand up and smell his ass.

 

[Sig]

If he denies it ask him to stand up and smell his ass.

ROFL.

Believe me, there is no way said captain is as bad as the worst case of trench-stench induction we've had at PDT.

 

[JPAustin]

Ever get AIMED at!?

I flew with a guy who actually unbuckled his belt, stood on the seat, aimed in my direction (all while I was rummaging through my flight case and wasn't watching) and said "HEY!", and when I turned, I got a face full of the foulest three-day old Burger King smell that I have ever had ensconsed around my nasal cavity. If the guy who did it recognizes this story, then you know who you are! But I will leave out your name to protect the guilty...

 

[PeanuckleCRJ]

The airflow in the CRJ goes cabin..FA... FO... CA....


Hard as hell for a CA fart to get over to the right side without the perfect gasper deflection... the FO's farts preside. Had an FA drop ass on the taxiout a couple weeks ago. We discussed evacuating. That uniform shirt still hasnt washed out to the same shade of white.

 

[Rook]

The airflow in the CRJ goes cabin..FA... FO... CA....


Hard as hell for a CA fart to get over to the right side without the perfect gasper deflection... the FO's farts preside. Had an FA drop ass on the taxiout a couple weeks ago. We discussed evacuating. That uniform shirt still hasnt washed out to the same shade of white.

LOL! I farted just reading that one bro.:laugh:

 

[FN FAL]

What do you do when your captain farts all day...?

I'd say he's trying send you a pheromonal messege from the heart...get it on with him and post the details here later.

Main Entry: pher·o·mone
Pronunciation: 'fer-&-"mOn
Function: noun
Etymology: International Scientific Vocabulary phero- (from Greek pherein to carry) + -mone (as in hormone) -- more at [SIZE=-1]BEAR[/SIZE]
: a chemical substance that is produced by an animal and serves especially as a stimulus to other individuals of the same species for one or more behavioral responses
- pher·o·mon·al "fer-&-'mO-n&l/ adjective