Diarrhea in a freighter?

[Way2Broke]

That was a excellent read. Thanks.

http://dir.salon.com/story/tech/col.../index.html?source=search&aim=/tech/col/smith

 

[belchfire]

Eh, Captain Colan getting his own mud jacuzzzi was better...a video of that would have been priceless!

 

[regionaltard]

Damn....just, Damn...

Even though it wasn't in an airplane, I think we need to give this guy "teh win"

Nu

+1. Be$t $hit $tory ever.

 

[realmanofgenius]

They say it will never happen but it did...was flying for a regional years ago. going through some marital strife. had a huge fight the morning of day one . went riding on my bike about 15 miles. came home and made a big ol plate of fried eggs and potatoes. Got to work and my bud offers to buy me a huge mocha latta from cinnibon. i drain it and he offers me his, says he doesn't want it. but I have been dehydrated so I gulped it down. about 64oz of a an iced coffeee drink

noticed some stomach pains landing on the first leg. tried to go in the terminal, but couldn't. coming into the hub started having sharp pains in the lower abdomen. NO..NO...Please no. i've had this feeling before, but only in a car. you can pull over, though.

on the visual, i felt my ability to hold my bowels shut slowly drifting away. a couple of relief farts, but the pain would come n go. you know it will leave for a minutes and you're thinking, i'll make it. then it returns with a vengeance...

on short final as we crossed over the numbers, the depth chrage in my pants went off. (ever watch the show, mchales navy, and see a depth charge go off)

my eyes just opened like Buckwheat's when he saw ghosts, and my pants filled up with a california mud slide. thought it was over ...it wasn't ..that was round one. trying to call ground with a levee that broke in your pants was a challenge.taxiing on to the ramp the big one came. the damn broke. ... pants just full of crap like someone else decided to open the valve in my butt , but (excuse the grammar) without my permission.... what a feeling. when we parked i told my friend to get the rampers, some air fresheners and ten rolls of towels. wet them down. it took me thirty minutes and five rolls of shop wipes just to get it out of my pants, then I had to clean my pants. never mind the nausea from this whole thing ..... we had a short turn to the overnight and the plane stunk so bad we did an aircraft swap.

i managed to get my pants, thankfully polyester wets down pretty good , soaked and somewhat crap free. at the hotel i tub soaked them and washed them. i was so exausted. it is a totally humbling experience when in this capacity, you totallly lose all physiological control of your self and find yoursefl in world of $hit.

 

[30West]

Going down the airway,
Making decimal eighty-four,
My F/O got the squirts
And it blew me out the door!
The F/A tossed her cookies,
The winglets fell apart,
All because of my F/O's
Supersonic shart!

 

[Way2Broke]

I've got a good one.

http://img164.imageshack.us/img164/1176/freyerinforeport1km6.jpg

Enjoy!

(Click on the picture and zoom in to read)

 

[dispatchguy]

I sent this to my wife a couple of years ago; she laughed for about 15 minutes straight.

"Here I sit all broken hearted
Tried to fart, but only sharted
My colon is now drained
And my skivvies are now stained."

 

[-FlyAuburn-]

bump

 

[osy007]

I once shat in a bag filled with 10 million worth of checks. I couldn't wait long enough to take them out. It was a long flight in the props and I had to do what I had to do in order to "deliver time".
The worst when when I had to hand the bag over..I forget to tie it up and it spilled all over the delivery guys shoes.

Good thing it was a quick turn for me. The poor guy had to pick up all of the checks, leaving me the victor.

If you like tird jokes, here's a good fr8dog practical joke to play on someone...

Take a cliff bar and shape it into a tird. The thing looks just like the real thing. Then, loosely wrap it in t.p. and place it where it'll be noticed.

The story behing the joke was that my co-pilot thought he was some avid health nut. He then decided to replace my breakfast bars with cliff bars.
After I showed him what they really looked like, I don't think he ever ate one again.

 

[fr8r]

They say it will never happen but it did...was flying for a regional years ago. going through some marital strife. had a huge fight the morning of day one . went riding on my bike about 15 miles. came home and made a big ol plate of fried eggs and potatoes. Got to work and my bud offers to buy me a huge mocha latta from cinnibon. i drain it and he offers me his, says he doesn't want it. but I have been dehydrated so I gulped it down. about 64oz of a an iced coffeee drink

noticed some stomach pains landing on the first leg. tried to go in the terminal, but couldn't. coming into the hub started having sharp pains in the lower abdomen. NO..NO...Please no. i've had this feeling before, but only in a car. you can pull over, though.

on the visual, i felt my ability to hold my bowels shut slowly drifting away. a couple of relief farts, but the pain would come n go. you know it will leave for a minutes and you're thinking, i'll make it. then it returns with a vengeance...

This is called "TREMORS!"

on short final as we crossed over the numbers, the depth chrage in my pants went off. (ever watch the show, mchales navy, and see a depth charge go off)

my eyes just opened like Buckwheat's when he saw ghosts, and my pants filled up with a california mud slide. thought it was over ...it wasn't ..that was round one. trying to call ground with a levee that broke in your pants was a challenge.taxiing on to the ramp the big one came. the damn broke. ... pants just full of crap like someone else decided to open the valve in my butt , but (excuse the grammar) without my permission.... what a feeling. when we parked i told my friend to get the rampers, some air fresheners and ten rolls of towels. wet them down. it took me thirty minutes and five rolls of shop wipes just to get it out of my pants, then I had to clean my pants. never mind the nausea from this whole thing ..... we had a short turn to the overnight and the plane stunk so bad we did an aircraft swap.

i managed to get my pants, thankfully polyester wets down pretty good , soaked and somewhat crap free. at the hotel i tub soaked them and washed them. i was so exausted. it is a totally humbling experience when in this capacity, you totallly lose all physiological control of your self and find yoursefl in world of $hit.

This is one of the funniest stories I have ever read!