Delta Tie?

[screamingpax]

Q: Why do delta pilots wear ties?

A: To keep the foreskin from popping out...



Time to quit whining about everything and have some real fun. Anyone else have any good delta pilot jokes?



Q: What's a delta wife do to her a**hole before sex?

A: Drops him off at the airport..


Q: What separates a Delta flight attendant from the scum of the Earth?

A: Cockpit door..

 

[rf285]

Who rained on your parade?

 

[screamingpax]

Ok fine...Any good pilot jokes period?? Just sick of every thread turning into ALPA, SKYW, Mesa, etc... Trying to get some humor going.

 

[screamingpax]

The three most dangerous things in aviation (in order):

1. A doctor in a Cessna.
2. Two captains in a 737 or DC-9.
3. On-board fire

 

[crj567]

Q: What is the difference between a Delta pilot and a jet engine?

A: The engine stops whining after you park at the gate!

 

[chuckthepilot]

Oldie but goody:

Q: What's the difference between a regional FO and a pizza?

A: A pizza has a chance of feeding a family of four.

 

[rjacobs]

What do you call the thing between the dick and the ***********************************?


-Throttles

 

[SiuDude]

Knock knock.

Who is there?



Mesa sucks.

 

[Ezralite]

Why is it so windy in Chicago?


Because Mesa sucks and Gojet blows

 

[Tarzan]

What is the difference between a Delta pilot and God?

God doesn't think he's a Delta pilot.

 

[Cobraair75drvr]

What is the difference between a sub contractor lifer and a Delta pilot??

The Delta pilot has SCOPE, thus control over the flying. Oh yea, and about $100K/yr.

Q: What is the difference between a Delta pilot and a jet engine?

A: The engine stops whining after you park at the gate!

 

[Midnight Flyer]

What is the most dangerous hazard to an airline Captain?

A flight attendant with a chipped tooth.

 

[buscap]

What happens to a Delta pilot when he takes Viagra?










He stands up

 

[Pogue Mahone]

How many Delta pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?




Just one.

He holds it up to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him.

 

[G2T]

What is the difference between a sub contractor lifer and a Delta pilot??

The Delta pilot has SCOPE, thus control over the flying. Oh yea, and about $100K/yr.

Btw, the two gay pilots in your cute little joke are at least Delta pilots, not jealous sub-contractors.

It is Delta's (and other legacies) fantastic scope that created this subcontractor/rj debacle in the first place. Not many regional pilots want to work at the regionals, but with nobody hiring, and when they do hire they want pic turbine in aircraft larger than _____, how do you suggest we solve this problem?

I suggest you either tell a joke or stop trolling the regional boards just to make yourself feel better.

 

[buscap]

According to Socrates, all good jokes are offensive to someone.

Just don't make fun of Snoopy. That's going too far!!!!

 

[Kalifornia]

So 3 random old guys are at a bar and start chatting about kids. Guy number one states his disappointment with his son because he's in prison for dealing drugs and other crimes. Guy number two says he's really distraught that his son has chosen to be a full time gay male prostitute. Guy number 3 is simply too embarrassed to let the other two know his son is a pilot for Mesa Airlines, and simply states, "I have no son".

 

[dvmthwsvan]

What's the difference between a condom and a Delta cockpit?

-A condom only holds one d!ck

 

[dvmthwsvan]

A woman was looking at the animals on display in a pet store. A man
walked in and said to the shopkeeper “I’ll take a Ramp Monkey, please.”
The shopkeeper nodded and took a monkey out of a cage. He put a collar
and leash on the animal and handed it the man, saying, “That’ll be $5,000.”
The man paid and left with the monkey.
The surprised woman went to the shopkeeper and said, “That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did
that one cost so much?”
The shopkeeper answered, “Ah, that’s a Ramp Monkey. He can drive
tractors, load cargo and guide aircraft into gates. All with no back talk
or complaints. He’s well worth the money.”
The woman then spotted a monkey in another cage. “That one’s even
more expensive! $10,000! What does it do?”
“Oh, that one” replied the shopkeeper. “That’s a “Flight Attendant Monkey,
she’s attractive and personable. She can serve drinks and meals, and even
evacuate passengers from an aircraft in an emergency. A very useful monkey
indeed.”
The woman looked around a little longer and found a monkey with a
$50,000 price tag. The shocked woman exclaimed, “This one costs more
than all the others put together! What in the world can it do?”
“Well,” said the shopkeeper, “I’ve never actually seen him do anything
except drink beer and play with his d!ck. But his papers say he’s a Pilot Monkey.”

 

[RobCat]

How many pilots does it take to screw in a light bulb?

7, 1 actually to screw in the light bulb, 6 to talk about how good it was.