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A thousand points of light

"Nothing is free"

That's true. But volunteering is a great way to meet people without shelling out lots of bucks. It just costs you your time.

I'm joining this thread rather late but I think it's pretty interesting because it is really difficult for a single guy in the aviation industry to meet women.

In addition to 350's list I would add volunteering and taking some courses (i.e., professional, art, self-improvement, etc).

The way I see it, on-line dating is great for the sheer volume of matches, so if you're into serial-dating then that's great. Or as someone else once said, Quantity has it's own Quality.

Good luck.
 
350DRIVER said:
..............a picture is pretty much a "must" ................ talk on the phone way too much, a major turn off ............
.............conventional methods of meeting women (ex> work, gym, church, bar, club, mall, etc, etc) ......................make sure you are the one that is calling the shots...............3 5 0
350DRIVER,
Very good advice and taking classes or volunteer works is also excellent. The one big draw an onLine service has over more conventional means, however, is that it offers the possibility of making an exact match considering a person has enough self awareness to know exactly what characteristics is compatible in a potential relationship. Most services limit the parameters to age range and location. The service depends on call in business rather than soliciting candidates [locate and recruit eligible singles]. That perfect match might register at only one site which limits exposure considering the overall possibilities of being listed in many sites.

Statistically most U.S. American long term marriages considered successful are between individuals who grew up within 50 miles of each other. That being true it seems reasonable to rely on a service that has a narrow range of placement candidates rather than a service boasting a world wide or national selection. There was a time when a picture, to me, was worth a thousand words; but now I am more interested in those thousand words. Usually the "picture" needs only minor adjustments anyway. But, I feel, the more you know about someones character the better your chances of finding happiness.

I am not sure any more who is really calling the shots. I met a woman once I was really attracted to. I became the aggressor while she skillfully negociated a recessive role. She met my advances with light playful resistance until we had sex. Confident we could move on to a closer relationship I made demands on her time. It was then I learned she was only interested in having sex. After she was satisfied our relationship ended and she was pretty emphatic about letting me know it was over. I don't know how to guard against something like that.

Still in limbo. :cool:
 
I was partial to matchmaker.com....actually met my wife on there. And she's a beauty! A gorgeous blonde, elem. school teacher and former college soccer player...Grrr! Our first date was more blind than internet...we only exchanged emails for a week before meeting.

Its like fishing though! The more lines you throw out the better your chances of catching something (a DATE)!
SO send out some emails and dont be afraid to go out with a few prospects, sure you might end up entertaining a few "scarries" BUT you may come a across a diamond in the ruff as I did on a self-proclaimed 'last attempt at internet dating"

Good luck!
 
That's exactly what I call it...FISHING. You thow out some lines and "Boom" you have a largemouth or a walleye. I have REALLY good luck on AsianEuro.com lately...Lots of hits.
 
I will recommend a book to any man that has any type of relationship with a woman. The book is good reading for women as well.

"HOW TO SUCSEED WITH WOMEN"

The book is black in color, with white lettering. The book is funny, creative and full of advice that WORKS. I was 21 when I read it and my relationships, interactions and meeting the women of my dreams have become reality.

There is no snake oil in the book, and the authors are outstanding in their research and there developed techniques.

The biggest mistake guys make with women they are attracted to is the delay. Talking to a women after moments of awkward silence is weird. You have to be assertive. If you are shy practice one easy step. Just say hello, be confident, and sincere, say hello and walk on. This will get you use to many things. First of all it will make you comfortable talking to attractive women. Second, it will help you deal with rejection and not to take it personally. I did this at college and 8 of 10 women will say hi back and keep right on walking. 2 of the 10 will say hello back with a smile and do a double take as they pass you. The next time you see them, they may say hi to you. Or if you are in a situation were it is the two of you, the ice is broke, and you can move on with conversation.

Use this technique with all women, even the ones you are not interested in. It will hone your skills so that they are second nature.

With really attractive women, they have seen and heard it all. You have to be generative and creative. She has heard all the lines, been bought many drinks, and has been asked to dance hundreds of times. She looks bitchy because every weirdo will approach her and bother her if she lets her guard down.

Remember, women have one major concern, and that is being harmed in some way, be it physically or emotionally. And rightfully so, there are a lot of wierdos' out there.

You walk up to a girl in a bar or bookstore you are running an interview. If you tell her (in my case), "I’m a pilot, and race corvettes in my spare time" she will think of me as a large child and a player.

If you make the first move, you have the option to run the conversation. Talk about work well into the seduction. I always try and not make a big deal out of being a pilot. Just let her imagination fill in the blanks.

Lastly but not least, networking. Make friends with women that you are not interested in, and let them know that you want to be just friends. They always have girlfriends that they can set you up with. There is no better in with a woman, then the recommendation of another woman. And never, never be a women "friend" if you are interested in her. Let your romantic intentions be known. If she wants to be just friends, fine, and be just that. Don’t waste her time or yours. Don’t take it personally, and if you like her as a friend, and she likes you as a friend, there you go, another recommendation.

Mark
 
ThomasR,

Good points made in your response.......... This is a gamble as with many things in life, just try to keep the odds in your favor and never let your guard down with them. Approach a real life meeting with them with caution, as FG said "life is like a bunch a chocolates, ya never know whatcha going to get".(:D) I hope you find what you are looking for.

Still in limbo. :cool:
Many fish in the sea, your time will come again. Keep us posted on what you end up finding.


Make friends with women that you are not interested in, and let them know that you want to be just friends.
This is easier said than done, atleast in my experiences... Some women can be down right relentless and not understand what "NO" means.

good luck,

3 5 0
 
Vetteracer,

You made some good points when your environment is gender rich and enclosed such as a corporate setting, church or campus. I also have a problem with "not letting rejection get to me." In a closed enironment rejection is a matter of diplomacy regarding the other persons feelings knowing they will be there again the next day. However, in a temporary setting such as a bar, supermarket, airport or library. I find that rejection is painful and is better delt with from a distance rather than when face to face up close and "personal."

From a distance you can observe her general posture, behavior and gestures. You can see if she is with someone, group or some other distraction. From a distance you still have a clandestine element of surprise valuable because she is behaving within her own space free from observable expectations. You have a general view of what is immediately influencing her behavior.

By moving to within ten feet you are better able to view facial expressions. You can make your interest better known without verbalizing them and she will either respond favorably or reject your interest. This is good when you have at least a half hour to organize your approach.

When you only have a few minutes or less you have to be precise and react by instinct. You must not allow her to know you are approaching. You must address her from a blind side and be very aware of her expression when she first turns and sees you. If her eyes widen, pupils will dilate, eye brows rise, chest forward with a straightening posture and she smiles you are in and open to verbalize: Hi, my name is..........

If, however, she shows any kind of resistant expression you are out, simply smile say nothing and walk away. No rejection, no bruised ego and no recovery time required. The objective is to find out what she values and provide it. If she first sees you as something valuable she will respond favorably.

As for those super model beauties who are hit on by weirdos; there is no excuse for rudeness.
 
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True, but remember, that women are aware of everything around them, like cats.

They will notice you without even looking at you. They know when you are looking at them and when you are maneuvering in for some closer Intel.

I am out of school and in the same setting, everyone in contact is a coworker. So you must be careful, especially with all the sexual harassment laws.

I use the "general date" with coworkers. Invite her out with some other friends. It will be a date in disguise. I also just ask women flat out if they would like to go out sometime. After years of rejection and acceptance, I have learned to take the good with the bad. I accept that every woman does not have to like me. And I just as soon find out now, so I can concentrate my efforts on those that do.

Many times women do not tell you why they rejected you. But most of the time it is because they are seeing someone else, or they are married. They may have had a bad breakup, on the rebound, or are pursuing someone else.

Also, date multiple women at once. This will boost your confidence since you will not place so much importance on one single woman. Women can smell men that are desperate. That is a major turnoff to them. You will be surprised how easy and relaxed you are when you could care less how the outcome unfolds when asking women out.

Buy the book I mentioned it will change your life forever where women are concerned.

Mark,

 
vetteracer said:
..........remember, that women are aware of everything around them, like cats.
They will notice you without even looking at you. They know when you are looking at them and when you are maneuvering in for some closer Intel. ........
I like your cat reference. It is much like hunting in the jungle. Even the big cats only have a 10% take down rate.

At a distance even when people are aware they will [conscious or subconsciously] either sign you in or flag you off [missed approach]. I do think closed environments are much more difficult to get close as you mentioned.

But, "in the wild" people act with less restraint because there is less at risk [work relations, contract negotiations, pay raises, promotions, grades, group affiliations etc]. Animals [including people] tend to react through their core personality. When you get a come-ahead from a basic level you are being aloud into a personal space. Violate that space unwelcomed and the result is, predictably, rejection. People will let you know either way long before words are exchanged.

Many people ignore the signs because they are so focused on their own interests [when hungry thoughts are overwhelmingly about food and where to find it, heightened sex drive induces behavior conducive toward balancing the drive]. :)

"Fishing" reference is a quantity hunt [hunting in a herd environment]. The person is not sure what they are looking for learning as they go until one individual remains within range [within acceptable parameters]. That is fine when the hunted out numbers the hunter. :)
 
Maybe not, however, it is always nice to meet someone who has similar interests close to home
 
mar said:
"Nothing is free"

That's true. But volunteering is a great way to meet people without shelling out lots of bucks. It just costs you your time.

true, but unfortunately, with most of our schedules, its hard to maintain a regular attendence to functions such as those to get to meet anyone


mar said:
I'm joining this thread rather late but I think it's pretty interesting because it is really difficult for a single guy in the aviation industry to meet women.
amen brother

mar said:
In addition to 350's list I would add volunteering and taking some courses (i.e., professional, art, self-improvement, etc).

The way I see it, on-line dating is great for the sheer volume of matches, so if you're into serial-dating then that's great. Or as someone else once said, Quantity has it's own Quality.

Good luck.

see first reply above,

serial dating would be great, but again, its all in the womans court, you can send out winks/emails/eyecontacts, etc, all day long, but if the women in the area are picky, well, what you get is buptkis. particularly with the much more finite quantity of ads with photographs that aren't 'scary' as oujetdriver pointed out.

as for the 'increase your dating' books, they don't really help people like myself, for who, reading all the texts in the world won't make me any more confident or suave around women i don't know. thats just an ability i've never aquired, perhaps its genetic

aside from the fact that apparantly those books are all about being someone else, not yourself, so where does that leave you if you find someone you want to be with?
you can't carry the act on forever, while it may get ya some in the short term (not a bad thing at all mind you) but is it 'right' to be serially deceptive?


now hugh, i know your gonna come down on me for all this 'wussy' talk, but i'm not the studboy you are bud
:D
 
Ailerongirl said:
Hey, hey! We're not a dating service!

:rolleyes:
Any ladies enjoy italian in the dining room and italian in the bedroom, feel free to pm me... location not a factor :p
 
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RJPilott said:
Any ladies enjoy italian in the dining room and italian in the bedroom, feel free to pm me... location not a factor :p
Put a personal profile together and post it with your signature or link it in you message. Someone will be interested.
 
Dash8 said:
.......................... serial dating would be great, but again, its all in the womans court, you can send out winks/emails/eyecontacts, etc, all day long, but if the women in the area are picky, well, what you get is buptkis. particularly with the much more finite quantity of ads with photographs that aren't 'scary' as oujetdriver pointed out.

as for the 'increase your dating' books, they don't really help people like myself, for who, reading all the texts in the world won't make me any more confident or suave around women i don't know. thats just an ability i've never aquired, perhaps its genetic

aside from the fact that apparantly those books are all about being someone else, not yourself, so where does that leave you if you find someone you want to be with? you can't carry the act on forever, while it may get ya some in the short term (not a bad thing at all mind you) but is it 'right' to be serially deceptive?..........
What you get is what you give. If you are being deceptive it is because you are hiding something you are probably not proud of. Women have the exact same problem. Just because YOU want to be with someone specific does not mean that particular someone is interested in you. The idea is to know what you are looking for before you begin the search. Then the only problem is knowing where to look in finding that particular character.

With the Internet those places will become more and more available. If you are looking for brainy chicks, for example, a university would be a good place to look. Even better would be places where university people go after work. Women are much the same emotionally, that is to say their brains are wired the same, what you are doing is fine tuning the outer surface; the parts you first recognize. And among that selection might be the one that looks back at you with a come ahead smile. You win.

Don't waist your time going to places that attract women you are not interested in. If you hang out at a bar where people go just to get laid, well that is great; but you have to know that the women who go there are going for the same reason. The relationship is destined to be short term at best.

For myself, I am interested in the scientific type. What about YOU? :cool:
 
I don't know the ratio of women to men on this forum, however, anyone who is single might provide that information in case there are people interested in finding single people in the aviation business. There are many people outside of aviation who review this forum also who might like to contact you.

PERSONAL PROFILE Call Any Time / Available
Management / Professional / Personal / Resort
 
blind dates rock

yeah....got a blind date in about..hm...exactly two hours. This girl has been so "talked up" by her friends. On a 1-to10 scale they say she's a 13. This is going to be so interesting. My friend (a girl) told her I flew. Yep...that about kills any chance right there doesn't it? UH...YEAH! I need to be studying callouts/profiles but instead .....wait......I'll be studying her profile so that counts right? Well everybody wish me luck. I'll post on the outcome for all in the stands to read. Homerun or shootdown. I'll let ya'll know later tonight.
fly2002
 
fly2002 said:
....... got a blind date in about..hm...exactly two hours. This girl has been so "talked up" by her friends. On a 1-to10 scale they say she's a 13. This is going to be so interesting. My friend (a girl) told her I flew. Yep...that about kills any chance right there doesn't it? ...........
fly2002
Sounds like you have good friends. Friends and family see traits in us that we are unaware of in ourselves. There is no better source of finding a true match than through your friends. I hope you had a good time.:D
 
Dating

There is a company called Zero-G, Inc. in Florida. They take customers up in a gutted 727 and then dive to experience weightlessness. It cost somewhere around $3000.00 a ticket. Do you think this is too extravagant for a first date? Or do you feel women would prefer a carnival ride, sky diving or scuba diving just as well? Just going swimming would be lot less expensive. :cool:

 
I'm joining this conversation rather late in the game but I thought I'd comment on this post anyways... As fun and as exciting as this sounds, yes, it's too extravagant for a first day. You don't want to come across as desperate do you?? Or worse...make the poor girl sick!

Don't try so hard...find something pleasant and cost-effective...have you met the girl more than once??

Good luck!
Lola

ThomasR said:
There is a company called Zero-G, Inc. in Florida. They take customers up in a gutted 727 and then dive to experience weightlessness. It cost somewhere around $3000.00 a ticket. Do you think this is too extravagant for a first date? Or do you feel women would prefer a carnival ride, sky diving or scuba diving just as well? Just going swimming would be lot less expensive. :cool:
 
Dating

lola said:
I'm joining this conversation rather late in the game but I thought I'd comment on this post anyways... As fun and as exciting as this sounds, yes, it's too extravagant for a first day. You don't want to come across as desperate do you?? Or worse...make the poor girl sick!

Don't try so hard...find something pleasant and cost-effective...have you met the girl more than once??

Good luck!
Lola
Hi Lola,

Thanks for your response. I was beginning to think this post was going to die.

The girl I met or actually I haven't really met yet; but know about her through the Internet. She is in aviation and rather high up on the status ladder. She has more flight experience than I do and more education but less life experience since she spent most of her adult development in schools of various kinds (I am only guessing, she might be an off the wall wild Amazon with an extraordinary IQ).

She is from the Midwest with central European ethics (reserved and guarded). Does not express a lot of interest in much of anything. She seems to have a developed direction in life but is very secluded about expressing anything of detail about herself. I think she might be interested in most anything in regard to a date scenario. But the people she associates with are of a high income type and she undoubtedly has access to extravagance of many sorts.

Since she is unwilling to express any of her personal life I have to assume many things about her from the limited facts I have. She readily responds to my correspondence but is very limited in details. I am petty sure should I stop writing her I would quickly be forgotten.

I guess what I am really wondering is should I pursue this or let it die; and if I continue how much time / energy should I put into keeping her motivated?

I am at the other extreme in that I am an open book. I figure if I have done it there are over a billion other people who have done the same thing. So we are something of opposites. Some say opposites attract. Do you think that is true? :)

 
ThomasR said:
The girl I met or actually I haven't really met yet; but know about her through the Internet. She is in aviation and rather high up on the status ladder. She has more flight experience than I do and more education but less life experience since she spent most of her adult development in schools of various kinds (I am only guessing, she might be an off the wall wild Amazon with an extraordinary IQ).
OR...... "she" might be a 300-lb, 46-yr-old, bearded male pervert getting his jollies off by using the oldest tricks in the internet book.

In which case, the $3,000 weightlessness ride might provide JUST THE THING to seal the deal for "her"!!!!


Now, what was that line from "Something About Mary"???


I'm just messin' with ya'!
 
Dating

TonyC said:
OR...... "she" might be a 300-lb, 46-yr-old, bearded male pervert getting his jollies off by using the oldest tricks in the internet book.

In which case, the $3,000 weightlessness ride might provide JUST THE THING to seal the deal for "her"!!!!

Now, what was that line from "Something About Mary"???

I'm just messin' with ya'!
TonyC you are everywhere. You brought up something I had not thought about. I would, of cource, have to meet this person before making any kind of plans; and it is quite probable she is a player making time while she is still young. I have never played anyone for the perks but I have had several attempts on me in the past. This scenario is similar to a play bill, very reserved banking of goodies before revealing any personal feelings; ignoring specific requests for information staying just off topic so as not to loose your interest. Very short replies to lengthy messages [low investment to higher interests].
 
dispatcher121 said:
That's the beauty of dating men in aviation. They come with a 10 year federal, state and local background check. As well as drug, alcohol and sometimes nicotime screening. In addition, they have more in common and you can appreciate the industrie's lifestyle.
:D
Are you married yet? or are you holding out for someone of Astonaut status? :rolleyes:

 
ThomasR said:
1. less life experience since she spent most of her adult development in schools of various kinds
2. Does not express a lot of interest in much of anything. ... I think she might be interested in most anything in regard to a date scenario.
3. I am petty sure should I stop writing her I would quickly be forgotten.
4. I guess what I am really wondering is should I pursue this or let it die; and if I continue how much time / energy should I put into keeping her motivated?
5. I am at the other extreme in that I am an open book. I figure if I have done it there are over a billion other people who have done the same thing. So we are something of opposites. Some say opposites attract. Do you think that is true? :)
Alrighty...here I go with my opinions...

1. tons of time spent in school does not have to mean less life experience. if that is what she told you, something is up, if you assumed that, stop assuming that. ;)

2. those two statements are in direct conflict with each other. if she doesn't express much of an interest in anything, she's probably not up for just about anything datewise...

3. Hmm...makes me think that (harsh statement coming up...) she doesn't care about you and has no desire to meet you (*runs and hides*)

4. She doesn't sound like any fun from your description of her!! And you sound like you are, or you want to be, fun! Move on and find someone who expresses interest in something, anything...please? ;)

5. Do I think opposites attract? Hmm...no. :) Not in your case! Think about it, you two are dating, you tell everyone everything and she is worried/offended that everyone in your life, and not in your life, knows everything about her -- you fight. Other side: you get offended that 5 months into the relationship, her friends don't even know of you! -- you fight... Sounds like fun to me.

Just trying to be helpful...not trying to offend...she doesn't sound like someone I'd want to be friends with though.
 

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