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CVR of US Airways Flight 1549 released!

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Thurman Merman

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
Posts
177
I just got this from a buddy who has access to the ongoing NTSB investigation.

Subject: The unfiltered black-box transcript.

SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot? Just shut
The f*cker down, boy. Oh, and tell Departure that we need to
Come back in and land. F*cking birds..."

SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne
This morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got my
Commercial helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way,
Sir, we're not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to
Take on that extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union
Keeps you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."

{Bang!}

Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the
Gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"

SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here
Every winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna
Punch him right in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."

SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or
Straight-in to 22 at Newark ?"

Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark .

I've flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a
Crosswind. And their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson
F*cking river than land at Teterboro. Hey...."

SIC: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some
Prick Canadian snowbirds."

SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946.
I think it was in a...Piper... Somethingoranoth ER, I forget.
Nevermind. It'll all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing
Checklist and run it."

SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to
Find one for that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn
And tell the people to put their heads between their legs and
Kiss...no wait, that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace
For collision'.. .no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's
Better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane
They can see the Intrepid Museum , and that if they'd like to visit
It, they'll be able to, this afternoon, like, in about twenty
Minutes. Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If
I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink. And have that one with
The big tits bring it up. If I'm gonna die, I wanna die drunk and
With a boner."

SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"

Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really
Appreciate it if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm
Fairly certain that my grandfather did not die with a boner. I
Mean, have you ever met my grandmother? "

SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the
Hero Pilot of the Year."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the
Fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls
Me a hero!"
SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember
*my* name. It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully,
The big f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the
Cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot
At heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career
To be called a hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go
To retirement. That was close!"

SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no
Sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn
Sightseeing helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

SIC: "Beats the **** outta me."

Sully: "Vref?"

SIC: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"

SIC: "December 2, 1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full
flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING]
 

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