CVR of US Airways Flight 1549 released!

Thurman Merman

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
Posts
177
Total Time
Hammer
I just got this from a buddy who has access to the ongoing NTSB investigation.

Subject: The unfiltered black-box transcript.

SIC: "Number two's gone, boss."

Sully: "I know it! What do I look like, an R-22 pilot? Just shut
The f*cker down, boy. Oh, and tell Departure that we need to
Come back in and land. F*cking birds..."

SIC: "Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of his throne
This morning. You don't have to insult me just because I got my
Commercial helicopter rating in the mighty Robinson. Oh, and by the way,
Sir, we're not climbing, if you even care. Maybe your decision to
Take on that extra 5,000 pounds of fuel wasn't so hot, Captain."

Sully: "One more comment like that and I'll make sure the union
Keeps you in RJ's for the rest of your miserable, short career."

{Bang!}

Sully: "SON OF A BITCH!"

SIC: "Number one's failing, boss."

Sully: "I can see that! Am I a-f*cking-sleep? Can I not read the
Gauges? Am I not flying the plane here?"

SIC: "I'm just sayin'..."

Sully: "Goddamn Canadians, sending their f*cking geese down here
Every winter. Why, if I ever *see* another Canadian I'm gonna
Punch him right in the throat. I *HATE* Canadians."

SIC: "Everybody does, boss. Think we can make Teterboro or
Straight-in to 22 at Newark ?"

Sully: "Yeah, probably. But f*ck Teterboro! Let's go to Newark .

I've flown out of Teterboro. Short damn runways...always a
Crosswind. And their FBO's suck. I'd rather land in the Hudson
F*cking river than land at Teterboro. Hey...."

SIC: "You're not..."

Sully: "Why not? Maybe we can take out some sailboats with some
Prick Canadian snowbirds."

SIC: "You ever land on the water before?"

Sully: "Plenty of times! I got my seaplane rating back in 1946.
I think it was in a...Piper... Somethingoranoth ER, I forget.
Nevermind. It'll all come back to me. Pull out the Before Water Landing
Checklist and run it."

SIC: (flipping through the stack of checklists) "Can't seem to
Find one for that."

Sully: "Fooled ya! HAH! There ain't one! Just get on the horn
And tell the people to put their heads between their legs and
Kiss...no wait, that won't sound good on on the CVR tape...make it, 'brace
For collision'.. .no wait, make it 'brace for impact.' Yeah, that's
Better. No wait! Tell them that out the left side of the plane
They can see the Intrepid Museum , and that if they'd like to visit
It, they'll be able to, this afternoon, like, in about twenty
Minutes. Oh, and ring the stews and have them bring me a rum and coke. If
I'm gonna do this, I need a good stiff drink. And have that one with
The big tits bring it up. If I'm gonna die, I wanna die drunk and
With a boner."

SIC: "Like your grandfather did?"

Sully: "This is no time to make jokes, son. I would really
Appreciate it if you'd try to take this situation seriously. I'm
Fairly certain that my grandfather did not die with a boner. I
Mean, have you ever met my grandmother? "

SIC: "You know, if you pull this off CNN will be calling you the
Hero Pilot of the Year."

Sully: "F*ck CNN. Liberal bastards. All I care about is what the
Fair-and-balanced Fox News will call me. I hope Fox News calls
Me a hero!"
SIC: (sighing) "They probably will too. Nobody will remember
*my* name. It'll be 'Sully this'...and, 'Sully that.' 'Captain Sully,
The big f*cking hero.' Like you are the only f*cking one in the
Cockpit."

Sully: "You're quite bitter. You really are a helicopter pilot
At heart, aren't you? You know, some pilots wait their whole career
To be called a hero. I mean, Christ, I've only got two years to go
To retirement. That was close!"

SIC: "We're not down yet, Captain Skygod."

Sully: "I know, this thing glides pretty well, huh? Dammit, no
Sailboats. Oh well, let's see if we can buzz one of those damn
Sightseeing helicopters. What's best-glide/engines out?"

SIC: "Beats the **** outta me."

Sully: "Vref?"

SIC: "F*ck if I know."

Sully: "Britney Spears' birthday?"

SIC: "December 2, 1981."

Sully: "Well, I'm glad you know SOMETHING! Just gimme full
flaps..."

[END OF RECORDING]
 

COOPERVANE

Member since 1967
Joined
Mar 2, 2002
Posts
2,167
Total Time
<8000
That there's funny!!
 

79%N1

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Posts
2,441
Total Time
2 many
That was dumb.......and classless.
 

CFI2766

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 11, 2005
Posts
1,293
Total Time
4000
With all the cr@p going on right now, this is pretty funny.
 

say again

I love her ARSE!!!!
Joined
Mar 14, 2005
Posts
4,006
Total Time
5500
Some people need to get a sense of humor.
 

Mitsipilot

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 15, 2002
Posts
60
Total Time
5600+
I think that was pretty funny. Sounds like a total SNL skit to me.
 

belchfire

unpredictable member
Joined
Sep 2, 2003
Posts
27,439
Total Time
9:00am
He should have lit up a big Cuban cigar too...

Regardless, if I ever meet the guy, the first couple of rounds are on me!
 

79%N1

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Posts
2,441
Total Time
2 many
whatever..........that just was not funny at all, in any way. It was stupid and a bit disrespectful.

I'll go lighten up now, read it again, and get back to you.
 

G21Agoose

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 19, 2004
Posts
409
Total Time
.
whatever..........that just was not funny at all, in any way. It was stupid and a bit disrespectful.

I'll go lighten up now, read it again, and get back to you.
We have a word for guys like you here in France- C*NT
 

Thurman Merman

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 19, 2005
Posts
177
Total Time
Hammer
It was not meant to be tasteless or classless. I truly admire Sully et al for what they accomplished. It was with great skill, experience, and luck that they were able to pull off the ditching. If their emergency turned out any other way I wouldn't have posted it. In times like these humor is often the best remedy. I received this email from a retired Captain, who in my eyes is the definition of class and taste and he found it funny as hell.
 

JustaNumber

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 10, 2005
Posts
922
Total Time
5000
whatever..........that just was not funny at all, in any way. It was stupid and a bit disrespectful.

I'll go lighten up now, read it again, and get back to you.
It was hilarious! If you need me to spell it out for you, wouldn't it be ironic if the guy everyone is worshipping turned out to be a real a**? It's not disrespectful since it's abundantly clear the writer is not serious! I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Read it a couple more times, maybe you'll get it. :D
 

79%N1

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 19, 2002
Posts
2,441
Total Time
2 many
Geez..........So sorry to offend you guys. I don't think something is funny so I'm a c#nt???? Okaaaay!

Alright, it was freakin HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I rolled off the couch laughing so hard!

Man, disagree with some people!
 

Dubya

Part time genius
Joined
Jan 31, 2004
Posts
1,370
Total Time
1
Geez..........So sorry to offend you guys. I don't think something is funny so I'm a c#nt???? Okaaaay!

Alright, it was freakin HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!

I rolled off the couch laughing so hard!

Man, disagree with some people!
You were just way off the mark and you got called out.
Admit it and move on.

W
 
Top