Crew member as a 3rd wheel...

[Guitar rocker]

It is when the Captain asks you to take the stick!

Yah, then it sure would be. That would be a terrible scenario. I think that that if that happened, I might get on 121.5 and declare an emergency!

 

[400A]

Yah, then it sure would be. That would be a terrible scenario. I think that that if that happened, I might get on 121.5 and declare an emergency!

That is not the stick he was talking about.

 

[Guitar rocker]

That is not the stick he was talking about.

Well, if it was, then it's worth the 121.5 call. But, if not, then it's time to take out the digital camera with video.

 

[FlyFlyFly]

Time to go to Foggy Bottom

Freight Dog hit it on the head. The captain knows full well that he is acting unprofessionally. Whether he will admit it or not is irrelevant. The key to your conversation is to SEPERATE THE PERSON FROM THE BEHAVIOR. To minimize the possibility of the Chief becomeing unreasonable, you need to find a way to discuss the behavior itself as if it existed on its own, and avoid you or her statements.

Diplomacy is a new skill to me, but this step is important and a skill that will serve you well as you move through your career. If you have a mentor, you may want to sit down and rehearse the talk. This could go a long way toward helping you stay on task in the talk. Written notes and a briefing to the Chief on exactly what you want to discuss would be helpful so you can steer the conversation back on line if it strays.

You also need to begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to wind up? What do you want to have happen? How would you like things to be afterward? You may even go so far as to state these. I would not recommend that "you need to quit hosing the FA" as one of them. That you need to just accept and deal with, and like most have said, wait for the inevitable trainwreck.

So that when your boss's boss asks if you knew about it and why you didn't come to him, you need to have your actions documented. Again, written docs are best, emails, notes, dates and times of incidents and your efforts to address unprofessional behavior need to be on paper away from the office. This way, if you have to go to the mat, you are prepared and more credible than a hemming and hawing Chief.

Lastly, set an impeccable standard for your own behavior and do not wander from it.