Comebacks to passengers "Hope you haven't been drinking" or something to that effect

[BlueCanoe]

Pax: "You been drinkin'?"

Me: "You're too dumb to find 7D, and you worry about me?"

 

[Sig]

Pax: "You been drinkin'?"

Me: "You're too dumb to find 7D, and you worry about me?"

Annnnnndddd another wasted sip of booze. Between this and the visiting hotness walking around the condo in what appears to be the tiniest bikini ever made, life's been good today.

 

[OleGuy]

Way back when the first NW crew made the headlines we were sitting at the gate about ready to go. This guy stops at the door and gives the old "have you been drinking " and just as quick I turn around with a deadpan look and say "no, any fool knows you don't mix drugs and alcohol". He had this blank look on his face for a couple of seconds and then went and took his seat. Priceless.

 

[bestpilot]

This guy stops at the door and gives the old "have you been drinking " and just as quick I turn around with a deadpan look and say "AWWWWWW YYYEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH BBBOOOOYYYYYYEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!". I ain't thinkin he be diggin dat

 

[Trogdor]

I haven't got the drinking question yet but flying to small cities on the 1900, we get all kinds of small plane jokes. I usually tell them something like:

We'll get a bigger airplane when your town grows up.

 

[jim718181]

pax: "you been drinking?"
Me: "you need to be a lot more concerned with the 300 hour pilot in the right seat than me being drunk"

 

[Freight Dog]

Naw, I took a 60% paycut last year, so you could pay $79 for your ticket. Can't afford it, you buyin?

This one still takes the cookie!

 

[brainhurts]

No, but I just popped a viagra, so I have an erection that wont quit! Come on in and look at the cockpit--and close the door.

 

[Mike man]

I was sitting at a gate waiting for to deadhead. In walk the pilots and the two guys in front of me laugh and one says to the other "I saw these guys in the bar this morning having a few drinks." As the guy finishes his statement he sees me in uniform giving him the look of death. So I lean over to him and his buddy and explain to him that he should never say stuff like that, then I told him if I had heard him saying that about me I would call the police, have myself tested, then since the test was negative I would have him arrested then sue the crap out of him so I would never have to work again. He almost cried.

 

[PunchTheClown]

"No!, do you have a bomb?"

ROTFLMAO

This is the post of the year.

Granted its only July, but still. . . .good show!