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"Called on the Carpet"

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Never actually made it to the carpet but this was the call I made after some...umm...unpleasantries...

"Harold, it's Bateman, Patrick Bateman. You're my lawyer so I think you should know: I've killed a lot of people. Some girls in the apartment uptown uh, some homeless people maybe 5 or 10 um an NYU girl I met in Central Park. I left her in a parking lot behind some donut shop. I killed Bethany, my old girlfriend, with a nail gun, and some man uh some old faggot with a dog last week. I killed another girl with a chainsaw, I had to, she almost got away and uh someone else there I can't remember maybe a model, but she's dead too. And Paul Allen. I killed Paul Allen with an axe in the face, his body is dissolving in a bathtub in Hell's Kitchen. I don't want to leave anything out here. I guess I've killed maybe 20 people, maybe 40. I have tapes of a lot of it, uh some of the girls have seen the tapes. I even, um... I ate some of their brains, and I tried to cook a little. Tonight I, uh, I just had to kill a LOT of people. And I'm not sure I'm gonna get away with it this time. I guess I'll uh, I mean, ah, I guess I'm a pretty uh, I mean I guess I'm a pretty sick guy. So, if you get back tomorrow, I may show up at Harry's Bar, so you know, keep your eyes open. "
 
Men who wear cowboy boots, while not employed as a cowboy or at a social gathering which requires mastery of the two-step skillset, are gay. And I don't mean gay in the "preferring men as opposed to women" gay. I mean gay, as in stupid; as the word "tard" was once used.

And this post is used with full apologies to any readers who might actually be gay. It is unfortunate, though certainly not my sole doing, that the term for same-sex attraction has been hijacked into the new moniker for stupid. But I sincerely implore that the gay community take a moment to realize they are not the first, nor most likely the last, to have their noun so hijacked.

Think of it rather, as a sign of acceptance. Think about it, next time you describe a particularly stupid event as a "chinese fire drill", or other such term. And in the end, I hope we all can agree that cowboy boots in the cockpit are simply gay.
 
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Men who wear cowboy boots, while not employed as a cowboy or at a social gathering which requires mastery of the two-step skillset, are gay. And I don't mean gay in the "preferring men as opposed to women" gay. I mean gay, as in stupid; as the word "tard" was once used.

And this post is used with full apologies to any readers who might actually be gay. It is unfortunate, though certainly not my sole doing, that the term for same-sex attraction has been hijacked into the new moniker for stupid. But I sincerely implore that the gay community take a moment to realize they are not the first, nor most likely the last, to have their noun so hijacked.

Think of it rather, as a sign of acceptance. Think about it, next time you describe a particularly stupid event as a "chinese fire drill", or other such term. And in the end, I hope we all can agree that cowboy boots in the cockpit are simply gay.

As to that point-they are especially gay when they are worn by a female pilot... If you should ever see a woman (eg: the "white dragon") wearing cowboy boots anywhere around an airplane, you have found yourself a butch-ass lumberjack.
 

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