ASA pilots: Dallas sucks!

[Typhoon1244]

In light of recent events, I need to tell all of you ASA CRJ-200 guys in Atlanta something very important: Dallas sucks!

The rampers are all on drugs. Delta flight attendants spit on you. The chief pilots beat us daily. Captains have to do F/O's revisions. The restaurants only serve Captains Wafers (sour cream and chives). There is one mechanic, and he only knows how to fix Banderantes, if he hasn't been drinking. There's no employee parking. All the lines are back-loaded nap lines. ATC only speaks Spanish. The check airmen are all French. There's no cable TV here. The Cowboys never win...ever! The women all look like Madeline Albright, including the flight attendants. There's no beer...in fact the whole state is dry. Gas is $3.25 a gallon. Milk is $6.55 a gallon. Riding lawnmowers are illegal. So are cellphones. The apartments all smell like refried beans and hummus.

It's a terrible, terrible place! Please, save yourselves...don't bid Dallas, now or ever!

...unless your seniority number is 450 or greater...then it's cool.

 

[TMMT]

Dude you just described Kalifornaistan to a tee!

 

[Sierra-Hotel]

In light of recent events, I need to tell all of you ASA CRJ-200 guys in Atlanta something very important: Dallas sucks!

It's a terrible, terrible place! Please, save yourselves...don't bid Dallas, now or ever!

...unless your seniority number is 450 or greater...then it's cool.

What you don't want to be bumped backed to Hotlanta?

Just Kidding.....I would'nt wish that on anybody!

 

[logolight]

Just because it's your domicile doesn't mean you have to live there. Try chicago where the temp. is 15.


_______________________________________

"autopilot engage...autopilot right."

 

[601Pilot]

Bid Dallas!

As far as I know, every senior E-120 Capt. is heading over
to DFW CRJ Capt!

You guys still do LAHSO at DFW in RJ???? At least we don't have
to worry about doing that anymore!

601Pilot

 

[ReportCanoa]

Not a very smart post. Including your senority number or reference to it was even smarter... You never know how your comments may be taken out of context.

 

[adrianh11]

Not a very smart post. Including your senority number or reference to it was even smarter... You never know how your comments may be taken out of context.

Oh do relax. That was some top notch humor. Let them take it out of context. LOL

cheers

 

[ilinipilot]

Wait till the summer

The best part is that is cools down to a brisk 95 at night.
Don't even try and go out and jog after work, impossible.
Also, the nice walk from the shuttle bus lot to your car will cause you to be soaked in sweat as if you ran a marathon.

Finally, you can look forward to no rain ever to cool things down.

D

 

[Speedtree]

I fail to see how Dallas and Atlanta are that different in terms of weather. Atlanta may be a bit more humid I don't know but I bet Dallas is just as hot. A few years ago it was 100+ degrees for more than two straight weeks and, if I remember correctly, 18 people died from heat related causes.

As far as the rest, take your pick. And I think the previous poster was saying that he liked Chicago and to move there if you don't want the heat.

 

[Typhoon1244]

Not a very smart post. Including your senority number or reference to it was even smarter... You never know how your comments may be taken out of context.

First of all, what makes you think I used my precise seniority number? (As a matter of fact, I rounded it up quite a bit.)

And on another note...lighten up! It was supposed to be funny! (You're probably one of those guys I hear screaming and pounding his fists on the ops frequency because you never got your lav dump...)

 

[MetroSheriff]

Not a very smart post. Including your senority number or reference to it was even smarter... You never know how your comments may be taken out of context.

SIMMA DA NA!!!!

 

[captjorge74]

Hmmm I smell a rat!!!

Hmmm it sounds like a junior guy is about to flow back with all this guys being displaced or bidding to Dallas. In my years flying to Dallas, I never had any problems with the rampers. My opinion the rampers in Dallas are a lot nicer than most of the rampers in Atlanta. For an example, in Atlanta, I was never asked if I needed an air cart cause our APU was deferred. The day that happens, it will be the day I will post it up and show much excitement that I finally got good service in Atlanta. Before I get slashed by some ding dong I would like to give credit to some of our departure coordinators in Atlanta for dedicating their time helping us what we need and trying to leave on time.

Now feel free to retaliate!!!!

 

[FlyingSig]

Having done a DFW tour of duty and commuted on ASA here are some of my observations:

The rampers are all on drugs.

What rampers? They all froze to death last week (the ones that made it to work...the rest can be found in their car in a ditch of I-30)

Delta flight attendants spit on you.

That's not spit, it's drool. DAL DFW FA's are so old they often forget to put in their dentures...it's not their fault really.

Captains have to do F/O's revisions.

As it should be (until I ever make it back to a left seat)

The restaurants only serve Captains Wafers (sour cream and chives).

Is that what those are? I thought they were smoothies at that place by gate 20.

There is one mechanic, and he only knows how to fix Banderantes, if he hasn't been drinking.

But since DCI took over DFW, he's busy trying to find out where the props go on the MD90...so just be patient and wait your turn.

There's no employee parking.

Umm, this is Texas. You can tie your horse wherever you want.

All the lines are back-loaded nap lines.

Careful what you wish for.... CoEx is flying RJ's into ILE now.

ATC only speaks Spanish.

It's just easier that way...if they spoke english you'd know how many airplanes are about to run into you.

 

[bssthound]

SIG!!!!
At last somebody "gets" it!! I just transferred to DFW from ATL and am doing backflips (no small feat for a 39 year old!!) If Typhoon1244 hadn't made that post I would've!! I would have to put a comma in the seniority number, though!!

And to piggyback on the "lawman's" remark:

"simma . . . . . . . SIMMA!!"

 

[infoman]

Typhoon,

I get it . I spent 3 years at DFW. The Eagle side of the place.

The summer is hot. Followed by one day of fall. The winter.... ice, snow, hot , more ice.... hot (all in one day).
Spring. Every picture, in every weather book, ever published. They where all taken at DFW. I am talking about that stuff that the radar doesn't even help.

Have fun.