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ASA Captain vomits in the cockpit?

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777forever said:
Couple weeks ago right before my flight had some pizza from this place called Familiga or something in IAD on A. Right after T/O on the way to LGA heard my stomach rumble and just a few seconds after that felt like a BOWLING BALL was trying to drop out. LONGEST FLIGHT OF MY LIFE!!! Thought was going to pass out while making radio transmissions and holding on at the same time. One of the best feelings of relief I've ever had in my life was when I hit that toilet in LGA. Didn't even use a seat cover. Needed to go that BAD.
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My favorite flight was coming out of YYC to DCA. I told the FAMs prior to departure that we wouldn't be leaving the cockpit unless it was an emergency. Full boat, 50 peeps. V1, Rotate, gurgle gurgle GURGLE!!! I tell the FO I gotta go, ring the FA and tell her to get her ass in cockpit. 42 blessed feet later while under the wide eyed gaze of the FAMs, I unleashed a holocaust. I'm pretty sure there was collateral damage at row 13. It was really enjoyable getting to explore the full capabilities of the CRJ lav every 60 minutes for the rest of the day. Those things can really take a beating.
 
Uncle Bunkle said:
What is the deal with the ASA CA who puked in the cockpit yesterday? Heard that the FO himself nearly upchucked from the smell. Even the FA could smell it.
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Maybe he ate the wrong food, had the flu or dropped the eat on his finger and the shock of the drop sent him into a minor shock that made him nauseous...
 
I puked my guts out LEX-CVG one day. 63 miles of pure hell. No time to go to the lav, and the captain just sat there and laughed at me! Jackass:(
 
Lories diner in SFO. I will never eat there again, I lost it on the way back from our EUG turn. Confined to my hotel bed the rest of the day. I missed happy hour and everything!
 
JumpersAway said:
I used to be shy about using the lav..........not any more. Why go through the discomfort of that? Man up, tuck the USA Today under the arm, and make the walk to the back. When I've gotta' go, I've gotta go................
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You're right. I was too embarrassed to head to the back and I thought IAD to LGA was too short of a flight to have time to head back. Not making that mistake again. Too painful of a flight. My eyes were watering trying hold it in and the stomach pains!! Not worth it peeps. Grab the USA today if you have time and run to to the lav. When you got to go you got to go. Plus I doubt I'll ever see those 50 people in my life again anyway.
 
The true mark of a manly pilot is taking a dump in an airplane. Never flown one with a lav- you say? That's still no excuse in my book.............Flight bags, backpacks, trashbags- the marksmanship is critical, as well as one's ability to work under pressure...................
 
SKW several years ago, LAX-IYK, captain ate a whole bag of dried fruit = captain dropped his drawers and sh!t in a trashbag on final approach.
 
The best part of heading to the back with a USA Today tucked under your arm is "crop dusting" on the way back there.
 
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Uncle Bunkle said:
What is the deal with the ASA CA who puked in the cockpit yesterday? Heard that the FO himself nearly upchucked from the smell. Even the FA could smell it.
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I heard he found some naked pics of the White Dragon laying around...

-That would sure do it for most people!
(She is so rough, she could easily be our next Supreme Court nominee.)

http://lindyborer.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/image0251.jpg

http://www.wowowow.com/files/imagecache/300x/2009_0715_getty_sotomayor_89022315_0.jpg

http://cache.boston.com/bonzai-fba/Globe_Photo/2009/01/05/1231213771_4462.jpg

-I would suspect we will have few advance sales of the swimsuit issue.
-But I have been wrong before...
 
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LazyLightnin' said:
What the hell are you guys eating? Never have, Never will.
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Food poisoning- a fringe benafit of work. It's only a matter of time before you do. Eat out often enough, like we tend to do, and you'll eventually get it. Always go for the morning "power dump" before you fly- it's only a matter of time before your sphincter wakes up later than you do. Pack your bag for food? At some point, it will spoil without you knowing...................
 
ILOVEBEER said:
SKW several years ago, LAX-IYK, captain ate a whole bag of dried fruit = captain dropped his drawers and sh!t in a trashbag on final approach.
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That's risky inside the marker. Half dot dot deflection, go missed, gear up, $hit all over the floor.
 
JumpersAway said:
Food poisoning- a fringe benafit of work. It's only a matter of time before you do. Eat out often enough, like we tend to do, and you'll eventually get it. Always go for the morning "power dump" before you fly- it's only a matter of time before your sphincter wakes up later than you do. Pack your bag for food? At some point, it will spoil without you knowing...................
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He's right LazyLightin. I thought it couldn't be me either until I heard that rumble right after take-off....
 
epic! said:
this is relevant to the best thread ever on FI

http://forums.flightinfo.com/showthread.php?t=44435
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NOT relevant at all.

****ing your brains out into a flimsy grocery bag (or lawn & leaf bag if it's wet) at 15,500 ft cabin altitude with designated marksman accuracy without getting dizzy or short of breath because you know you have 4.5 hours to Mexico and the crapper at the freight ramp there won't be any less smelly or be well stocked there (if it even has running water), has nothing to do with the simple act of defecating in a shiny barbie jet on a 30 minute hop from Allentown to who-the-hell-cares.

/thread.
 
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Knew a guy at my old cargo outfit...Merlin Express...SJU - Caracas I think. No, auto pilot, no FO, no lav. He said we riged a couple of plastic grocery bags between the capt/fo seat armrests...and gave 'er hell. All the while still having to fly the plane. It was probably trimmed, but those damn Metro IIIs wouldn't stay on track for too long.

This was all his story...can't confirm it...and this was late 90s.

Personally...thank god for vacuum toilets...if you time it just right...it never hits the bowl.
 
Spoolingbyu said:
NOT relevant at all.

****ing your brains out into a flimsy grocery bag (or lawn & leaf bag if it's wet) at 15,500 ft cabin altitude with designated marksman accuracy without getting dizzy or short of breath because you know you have 4.5 hours to Mexico and the crapper at the freight ramp there won't be any less smelly or be well stocked there (if it even has running water), has nothing to do with the simple act of defecating in a shiny barbie jet on a 30 minute hop from Allentown to who-the-hell-cares.

/thread.
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having uncomfortable experiences while at the controls = relevant.
 
I've had to pull over and do the walk on taxi out. Didn't say a word to the pax just held my head high, swallowed my pride, and did my duty. I've found that if you hit the flush switch at the same moment you receive your thorough colon cleansing it keeps the smell down and hopefully the last four rows don't hear the screams of pain. PS. avoid the manchew wok in SLC its not an if but a when.
 
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