CounterGirl
Go CATS!
- Joined
- May 8, 2003
- Posts
- 25
Nicole,
I understand a little of what you're going through. Two years ago, my boyfriend (now fiance) was furloughed from Eagle and went through a period of depression that sent him into a quarter-life crisis. It was really hard for me to stand by and not be able to fully comprehend his pain, and most of all not be able to help him. This strained our relationship more than I'd like to admit. But eventually, about 9 months later, his job searching paid off and now he's working at the regionals again.
I understand you really want to help him, but you cannot take his career into your hands. Whether you like it or not, his pilot career is HIS career. All regionals seem to have their pros and cons, and unless you know exactly what company(ies) your husband would be happy to work for, it's probably not a good idea to send out his resume to just any regional that is hiring. You have to have a really good grasp on all of the factors like upgrade times, retirement, guaranteed hours, bases, junior manning, pay rates, etc. in order to make an informed decision about what company will be best for your husband and your family. Hey, if you have all that stuff down, then congrats to you and best of luck helping him out! But if not, you may end up doing more damage and garnering contempt or frustration from your husband if you forge ahead and and send resumes to the "wrong" airlines.
Also, sending his resume behind his back may not be well-received; it wouldn't feel like "his" achievement if anything were to come of it. I know nothing about you and your husband, and maybe he wouldn't react negatively at all to your assistance, but I do know that if he wants to get back into things and delve into a job search, it should be a decision he comes to himself, when he is ready--so that he can take ownership of conquering one of the most unfortunate pitfalls of the airline industry.
It may be that he feels like he's exhausted all airline job avenues and that's why he's depressed; in that case, be the best encourager you can be. Do some research to find leads, hand him the information and then let him do the rest. After all, it is HE who must get the motivation to gear up for an interview, that is something that you cannot do.
Most of all, you hang in there! I hope that this is a phase that ends, as it did for my fiance. Just give it time, and never give up being supportive, as you seem to be. It is natural that you and your children will feel the effects of your husband's unhappiness; but marriage is about being there for better or for worse. Remember, one day you may need his unwaivering support and understanding if, God forbid, you end up jobless.
Best Regards,
CG
Happy New Year to all!
I understand a little of what you're going through. Two years ago, my boyfriend (now fiance) was furloughed from Eagle and went through a period of depression that sent him into a quarter-life crisis. It was really hard for me to stand by and not be able to fully comprehend his pain, and most of all not be able to help him. This strained our relationship more than I'd like to admit. But eventually, about 9 months later, his job searching paid off and now he's working at the regionals again.
I understand you really want to help him, but you cannot take his career into your hands. Whether you like it or not, his pilot career is HIS career. All regionals seem to have their pros and cons, and unless you know exactly what company(ies) your husband would be happy to work for, it's probably not a good idea to send out his resume to just any regional that is hiring. You have to have a really good grasp on all of the factors like upgrade times, retirement, guaranteed hours, bases, junior manning, pay rates, etc. in order to make an informed decision about what company will be best for your husband and your family. Hey, if you have all that stuff down, then congrats to you and best of luck helping him out! But if not, you may end up doing more damage and garnering contempt or frustration from your husband if you forge ahead and and send resumes to the "wrong" airlines.
Also, sending his resume behind his back may not be well-received; it wouldn't feel like "his" achievement if anything were to come of it. I know nothing about you and your husband, and maybe he wouldn't react negatively at all to your assistance, but I do know that if he wants to get back into things and delve into a job search, it should be a decision he comes to himself, when he is ready--so that he can take ownership of conquering one of the most unfortunate pitfalls of the airline industry.
It may be that he feels like he's exhausted all airline job avenues and that's why he's depressed; in that case, be the best encourager you can be. Do some research to find leads, hand him the information and then let him do the rest. After all, it is HE who must get the motivation to gear up for an interview, that is something that you cannot do.
Most of all, you hang in there! I hope that this is a phase that ends, as it did for my fiance. Just give it time, and never give up being supportive, as you seem to be. It is natural that you and your children will feel the effects of your husband's unhappiness; but marriage is about being there for better or for worse. Remember, one day you may need his unwaivering support and understanding if, God forbid, you end up jobless.
Best Regards,
CG
Happy New Year to all!