Having been on both sides of the cockpit over the years and have desided to put my $.04 worth in.
There was a comment about doi9ng things the Captain's way. It is my opinion that it depends on the Captain. If it was something that was not covered by SOP's . NO PROBLEM. If it was and was contrary to FAR, I normally would ask the Captain to explain it in detail and why. Most of the Captains I did this with would happily explain. I would say it looks interesting, let me try it on my next leg. If it worked for me, Great. If it didn't, I would tell the Captain, 'It didn't work for me'. Usually with no hard feelings. But I have also flown with a Captain that told me it was because the SOP's were wrong. He was also a Captain that I felt I could not trust, if I did it his way, to protect me if something went wrong.
Once during a sim check, I was asked by the chief pilot to do something outside of SOP's and the Ops Manual. I refused, saying it was outside of policy, then was ordered to do it. So I did it. I found out it was a test to see if flight crews were following policy.
As a Captain, I have asked F/O's to do things a certain way. Usually things not covered by policy. If they were covered by SOP's, I usually worked to change that SOP. When I have told F/O's, not asked, to do something, it was usually safety related and I expect compliance. We discuss it later. Some of the biggest issues I have had about F/O's are things like, I tell the F/O we are running late and will do a quick turn. He tells me he has to use the bathroom. I tell him that do it quick. He leaves the aircraft and returns ten minutes later carrying a soda and several snacks. After I have done my duites and most of his. Then he is upset because I am not happy with his conduct. So there are times that AR Captain is really a AR F/O. Flying an aircraft is a team effort so both sides of the cockpit have to work together.
As for the lifer remarks, I have hired several commuter retirees as pilots and have found them to be some of the best in regards to CRM as anyone else we have hired.