Airline Dumpster Dynamics

[Laughing_Jakal]

Jetblue: Would you help us pick up our garbage?

NWA: Hey, you guys need help? Umm...you aren't really going to throw that out are you?

United: "We have no garbage...but if we did, it wouldn't stink"

TED: "Don't tell anyone, but we're United's garbage"

SWA: Don't bother separating aluminum cans...we neither sort or care where our garbage sits

Delta: Re-negotiating garbage collection contracts in Peachtree City.

Airtran: Bidding on Delta's garbage with the intention of claiming that it's theirs and selling it for pennies on the dollar, alternatively allows any pilot to pick their garbage for a nominal fee.

Fedex (2001-2004)
"Thanks for letting us pick thru your garbage. Unfortunately our management prevents us from letting you pick thru ours. We're working on it. Just a reminder... when we can reciprocate, you can reserve yourself a piece of garbage...if you provide a picture of yourself picking garbage."

Fracjet pilot: "Hey....overhere!...We'll gladly let anyone pick thru our garbage in the hopes that someday you'll let us pick thru yours"

RJ operator: Continually insisting that their garbage is of the same functionality and quality of the "Major's"...yet will make any sacrifice, bear any burden to someday pick garbage as a NWA guy....only to find they are back in their old dumpster.

Fedex (2005): You can pick thru our garbage only if you have picked garbage in the past with at least five of our guys. See Albie15 to learn how we like our garbage picked.

UPS: Spends years picking thru garbage in hopes something better gets thrown in.

Fedex (2006): Waiting to see what good stuff UPS finds.

TWA: Can's empty

AA: Garbage must be disposed of in our way with no discussion or questioning. Under no circumstances will you put garbage in TWA's empty can.

USAIR: No dumpster, just lots of old mismatched trash cans

AWA: Same garbage...new can

Continental: Hoping they won't generate too much garbage.
__________________
Why do you think I'm laughing anyway?
----- Jakal
Last edited by Laughing_Jakal : Today at 15:59.
*****

 

[xjlifer]

He He...that ain't half bad.

XJ Garbage----it really is not our garbage it is our holding company garbage...we own nothing

 

[Bavarian Chef]

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

A national garbage hauler union is riiiiight around the corner.

 

[81Horse]

Oh, man -- it only hurts when I laugh. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :crying:

You're killing me, Jakal.

 

[aussiefly]

LOL you owe me a beer for making me spit it out all over the place.

GReat Post

 

[JetMonkey]

Nice work Jakal.

 

[blzr]

What about us Corp. guys?? You left us out ya big jerk... We are wandering the countryside in search of some scrap of garbage to go through... in the mean time, we can go to work with no interference from (the) TSA.

 

[Bavarian Chef]

What about us Corp. guys?? You left us out ya big jerk... We are wandering the countryside in search of some scrap of garbage to go through... in the mean time, we can go to work with no interference from (the) TSA.

Your time at the security line will come. It's only a matter of time before a g-iv goes jihad on some nat'l treasure. Sorry.

 

[AKAAB]

Well done, sir! I have a feeling this list will end up in the perpetual stream of forwarded emails for the rest of my career. Did you hear about the Quantas maintenance Squawks? I get that one at least once a month from some distant acquaintance that just rememebered they know a pilot.

May I add:

Corporate - You can have the leftover garbage once the boss is in the limo on the way to The Four Seasons.

Eastern - Memo from Continental: "All your garbage are belong to us".

 

[temcgrew]

Trans States and g0jet: Same dumpster, seperate garbage