Lear, so can you tell us that spanking was a very effective way for you to learn as a child? A method that taught you to do the right thing all the time, or just when other people were watching. Did you feel the need to lie to your parents to save your a$$ sometimes? Did you ever feel the need to search out for your parents' acceptance? Because I think that's the message some kids inadvertently get when their parents are heavy into punishing and praise. But this is venturing into a whole other topic.
And we will never see DIRECT PROOF (as you stated) until our children are much older. Anger and separation grow with time, so let's talk when our kids are teenagers.
Next time when your child is acting out of control, keep your ego and need for control in check, and find a safe place for your child to deal with their rage or hold them if you need to so that no one gets hurt. After they calm down and even hours later, try talking to them about why their actions were unacceptable. I guarantee you this works! It may take a few times, but many parents have no objection to multiple time outs or spankings, so why not trying multiple discussions. My daughter has never been punished. We've worked through hair pulling, hitting, taking turns, etc, all the kid stuff, and she learns. It takes a little effort and self-control on the parent's part, but it works. For your children's sake, I want to reiterate that it is totally pointless to try to rationalize with them when they are raging, tired, or react to something they ate. Haven't you ever been really, really mad and had someone try to talk sense into you? Doesn't usually work well, since sometimes you just have to vent. Once you cool down, it's much easier to be rational. Please, just allow your kids the same. Give them a safe place and outlet where no one is getting hurt and let them vent.
Someday we will hopefully treat kids like we want to be treated. To put it in terms you'd better understand, when you got to your new airline job, you probably had to learn alot of new procedures. You likely had the benefit of studying them first, and then an instructor worked with you in the sim, and then you had IOE and then online. Even though you studied all the new procedures, you likely made mistakes throughout training and maybe still do occasionally have lapses of judgment. Would you prefer a gentle reminder of the proper technique, time off without pay, or lashing? Would you prefer I give you one warning and then a lashing? Maybe starting in training we can tally all your lapses in judgment and then subtract pay for each one?
Don't tell me child are different, because they are not. They are new to this new job of life and they are still learning the rules.
And we will never see DIRECT PROOF (as you stated) until our children are much older. Anger and separation grow with time, so let's talk when our kids are teenagers.
Next time when your child is acting out of control, keep your ego and need for control in check, and find a safe place for your child to deal with their rage or hold them if you need to so that no one gets hurt. After they calm down and even hours later, try talking to them about why their actions were unacceptable. I guarantee you this works! It may take a few times, but many parents have no objection to multiple time outs or spankings, so why not trying multiple discussions. My daughter has never been punished. We've worked through hair pulling, hitting, taking turns, etc, all the kid stuff, and she learns. It takes a little effort and self-control on the parent's part, but it works. For your children's sake, I want to reiterate that it is totally pointless to try to rationalize with them when they are raging, tired, or react to something they ate. Haven't you ever been really, really mad and had someone try to talk sense into you? Doesn't usually work well, since sometimes you just have to vent. Once you cool down, it's much easier to be rational. Please, just allow your kids the same. Give them a safe place and outlet where no one is getting hurt and let them vent.
Someday we will hopefully treat kids like we want to be treated. To put it in terms you'd better understand, when you got to your new airline job, you probably had to learn alot of new procedures. You likely had the benefit of studying them first, and then an instructor worked with you in the sim, and then you had IOE and then online. Even though you studied all the new procedures, you likely made mistakes throughout training and maybe still do occasionally have lapses of judgment. Would you prefer a gentle reminder of the proper technique, time off without pay, or lashing? Would you prefer I give you one warning and then a lashing? Maybe starting in training we can tally all your lapses in judgment and then subtract pay for each one?
Don't tell me child are different, because they are not. They are new to this new job of life and they are still learning the rules.