Age 60- deep thoughts by Jack Handy

[CRAZY LEGS]

Everybody

 

[P-Dawg_QX]

"Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what is I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny."
--Jack Handy

 

[1stCivDiv]

When we were flying formation and had to use these dumb call signs, I thought, wow they should really let us use "dude" as a call sign. Then you could say "Dude, Knock It Off!" , or "Dude Breakout!" Either way you would sound pretty cool!

P.S. What this has to do with Age 60 I know not...:laugh:

 

[mdf]

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

-Jack Handy

 

[JetMonkey]

Don't quite know what you're getting at but, I love the Avatar........one of my favorite movies. 100% pure adrenaline, some people shoot it, snort it, all you have to do is jump.

 

[joe_pilot]

"The crows are calling my name", thought Caw.

-Jack Handy

 

[kevin_p]

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

--Jack Handy

(once again, nothing about age 60, but still funny)

 

[MarineGrunt]

"I say, if you drop you car keys in a pool of molten lava, let em go. Cause man..... they're gone"

-Jack Handy

 

[jetpig32]

Everybody

Woops. Thought some one posted a link to Deep Throats by Jack Mayhofer.

 

[yzf6]

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.

 

[grinch]

age 65 retirement Deep Thoughts??? is that what you meant?

It's often said that the most peaceful way to die is in your sleep.

That's how my grandpa went to heaven, in his sleep.

I hope someday when I'm as old as he was that I will pass away in my sleep too.

Cause I sure would hate to die screaming "oh f*ck, we're all about to die"
like all of those poor b*stards in that plane he was flying.

 

[GogglesPisano]

It's often said that the most peaceful way to die is in your sleep.

That's how my grandpa went to heaven, in his sleep.

I hope someday when I'm as old as he was that I will pass away in my sleep too.

Cause I sure would hate to die screaming "oh f*ck, we're all about to die"
like all of those poor b*stards in that plane he was flying.

I spit up my tea on that one!

 

[fletch717]

"If you see a child on the street crying, tell him it was probably something he did"

 

[phishhman]

It's amazing that with a pair of antlers and a pair of common wood screws can make an ordinary child look like a deer.
--Jack Handy

 

[nyboilermaker]

"Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up." -J. Handy

 

[General Lee]

It's often said that the most peaceful way to die is in your sleep.

That's how my grandpa went to heaven, in his sleep.

I hope someday when I'm as old as he was that I will pass away in my sleep too.

Cause I sure would hate to die screaming "oh f*ck, we're all about to die"
like all of those poor b*stards in that plane he was flying.

That was the classic Age 65 rebuttle. Goodnight.

Bye Bye--General Lee

 

[SiuDude]

[FONT=Georgia, Garamond, Times New Roman]One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.
[/FONT]​

[FONT=Georgia, Garamond, Times New Roman]--Jack Handey
[/FONT]​

 

[CRAZY LEGS]

third attempt to post original

age 65 retirement Deep Thoughts??? is that what you meant?


Yes. Post didn’t go through. Neither did subsequent attempts to edit. Operator error I’m sure. Let me try this manifesto again.

One of the common arguments against repealing age 60 is that these “old geezers” knew the rule and should have planned their finances accordingly.

Interesting… How many of us can say that our careers have gone as planned? None of us have a crystal ball that allows us to avoid all of the potential pitfalls and wrong turns to be made. Some of us catch the breaks, others don’t. There are lots of guys that started at the bottom only to get laid off and start again…sometimes again and again. Pan Am, Eastern, TWA, make your own list. Are we naïve enough to think that it couldn’t be us 15-20 yrs down the road, encroaching upon 60 and in the same boat many are in now? Given the nature of this industry it would do us some good to have the foresight to realize that supporting this change is worth the short-term sacrifice, even for the younger guys getting close to upgrade. Planning to retire at 60 based upon your current circumstances is well and good, but I bet it seemed pretty good 5 years ago to the 2 year United Capt. that’s now scrapping by on 737 F.O. wages, or the Delta pilot wondering if he’s going to have to start over in a couple years. Let’s cut each other some slack and look at the big picture for everybody.

And now I leave you with a modified “Jack Handy”

“If you find yourself traveling through time, and you see a fellow aviator traveling in the opposite direction, it’s best not to make eye contact.”

 

[Flyintin]

Long flight

Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, "Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know." He stared telling the story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought: "This story isn't too long." But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, "Uh-oh, this story is getting long." But then the story was over, and I said to myself: "You know, that story wasn't too long after all." I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though. - Jack Handy

If you're a horse, and someone gets on you, and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away. - Jack Handy

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that. - Jack Handy

Thanks for the laughs guys, keep em coming...