• NC Software is proud to announce the release of APDL - Airline Pilot Logbook version 10.0. Click here to view APDL on the Apple App store and install now.
  • Logbook Pro for Apple iOS version 8.1 is now available on the App Store. Major update including signature endorsements and dark/light theme support. Click here to install now.

Actor turns Gangsta on SWA!

texman

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
1,334
Total Time
69
Engine Graffiti artist apprehended in GSP
SPARTANBURG, SC- A months long mystery regarding strange sword-like images being painted on the engine tail cone sections of some Southwest Airlines aircraft has been solved with a rather bizarre twist. Actor Christopher Walken was recently apprehended as the graffiti artist after admitting he painted the images while working as a baggage handler in Greenville-Spartanburg Airport in South Carolina. Walken was hired in March of 2011 under an assumed identity using the name Roger Cornelius. The images started showing up on engine sections shortly after Walken was hired. Southwest Airlines’ station manager at the airport, Sylvia Newton, when interviewed for the story said, “I knew he looked familiar. But his credentials and references were solid. He was clearly Southwest material and we hired him on the spot.” She added, “He had an odd way of talking, but we just figured that was his yankee accent.”
Walken was caught in the baggage handlers’ break room near the Southwest Airlines operation at the airport. He apparently attacked a co-worker who was mocking him. Southwest Airlines baggage handler Nate Jensen said, “I was talking with Eddie Royce (another Southwest baggage handler) who does great imitations. I mean, you should hear Eddie do Andrew Dice Clay. He kills it!” Jensen continued, “ He started imitating Roger in the break room. ‘Where …….should I put……. these bags?’ You know, with big pauses in between words.” Jensen said, “It was hilarious. Then out of nowhere Roger (Walken) just flies into Eddie and tackles him. He was major pissed.” Jensen said, “It was then that I realized Christopher Walken was my coworker for the last several months. Amazing.” He added, “I’m so gonna post this as my facebook status (knowing Christopher Walken) for like the next hundred years.”
Word of the incident reached the supervisors very quickly and Walken spoke with Southwest Airlines ramp supervisor Doug Adamson. Adamson said, “He just wanted a job again after his acting career had floundered after such disasters as “Click” and “Envy” and thought he could be a great baggage handler.” Adamson continued, “He told us he was trying to resurrect interest in his career by painting sword like images on the tail cones of airplane engines.” When asked why the sword image, Walken mentioned the Saturday Night Live skit where he played a Civil War Confederate officer humorously named ‘Colonel Angus’ who wore a hat that had swords on it. The female cast members would speak fondly of ‘Colonel Angus’ and when his name was mentioned quickly, and in a Southern accent, it would sound very much like an oral sexual act. It was a very funny sketch according to Walken, and loaded with hilarious double entendres regarding ‘going south’ and ‘not minding the humidity.’





Christopher Walken as Colonel Angus

Some pilots were worried that the sword images were of a religious or gang related nature. Southwest Airlines pilot manager Chuck Magill said, “We put out the word to our pilots about this, because they are some of the most paranoid people on the planet. They believe basically anything they read on the internet as long as it conforms to their beliefs,” he said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He continued, “The super paranoid crazies are armed to the teeth and wouldn’t hesitate to go all pulp fiction on my ass if I didn’t respond with something,” he added, using his thumb and index finger in a mock handgun shape. “So, we thought we’d act all like, ‘Oh my freakin’ god- have you seen this s__ t on our planes; tell us and take pictures and write reports.’ You know, to make sure we look like we’re taking it seriously.” He continued, “I mean, we knew it would end up being something benign, but Christopher Walken? Not in a million years. Not in a million f___ing years.”
When Walken was told of one particularly paranoid pilot’s remarks about the sword images being ‘…the sword of Allah,’ Walken laughingly dismissed, “More like the sword of AWESOME!”
At a press conference, Southwest Airlines mechanic spokesman Ralf Schlotzsy said, “It has been troublesome removing the Colonel Angus sword stains. We have, however, gotten promising results using a diluted mixture of vinegar and water. Some mechanics complained of the process, mainly of the vapors involved, but have pressed on heroically. I told them what my dad, a German immigrant and former Pan Am mechanic told me when I was young. He said, ‘Son, if you first take real good care of the airplane, she will turn around and take real good care of you.’” The press conference ended when, after an embarrassingly long pause, a puzzled reporter asked, “Are we still talking about airplanes?”
 

Ty Webb

Hostage to Fortune
Joined
Dec 10, 2001
Posts
6,525
Total Time
11000+
At a press conference, Southwest Airlines mechanic spokesman Ralf Schlotzsy said, “It has been troublesome removing the Colonel Angus sword stains. We have, however, gotten promising results using a diluted mixture of vinegar and water.

Hmmm, curious, there was no mention of the cowbell . . . . . Gotta have more cowbell.

http://youtu.be/q4royOLtvmQ
 

waveflyer

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 9, 2005
Posts
10,005
Total Time
12000
"You're talking to my man all wrong.....it's....thewrong tone....do it again and I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron"
 

Ty Webb

Hostage to Fortune
Joined
Dec 10, 2001
Posts
6,525
Total Time
11000+

Andy

12/13/2012
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Posts
3,101
Total Time
121312
Thanks, Andy, but that's not me, nor my name.

I do have a friend who was a staff writer on SNL during the Jimmy Fallon/Tina Fey "Weekend Update" years, though. :D

I was referring to Texman. It's an Onion-style 'news' report. Note the
 

Ty Webb

Hostage to Fortune
Joined
Dec 10, 2001
Posts
6,525
Total Time
11000+
I was referring to Texman. It's an Onion-style 'news' report. Note the URL. It was an upload from David's computer.[/QUOTE]


Yes, I got that. I thought . . . . never mind. ;)
 

scoreboardII

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 15, 2008
Posts
2,694
Total Time
xxxxxx
Engine Graffiti artist apprehended in GSP
SPARTANBURG, SC- A months long mystery regarding strange sword-like images being painted on the engine tail cone sections of some Southwest Airlines aircraft has been solved with a rather bizarre twist. Actor Christopher Walken was recently apprehended as the graffiti artist after admitting he painted the images while working as a baggage handler in Greenville-Spartanburg Airport in South Carolina. Walken was hired in March of 2011 under an assumed identity using the name Roger Cornelius. The images started showing up on engine sections shortly after Walken was hired. Southwest Airlines’ station manager at the airport, Sylvia Newton, when interviewed for the story said, “I knew he looked familiar. But his credentials and references were solid. He was clearly Southwest material and we hired him on the spot.” She added, “He had an odd way of talking, but we just figured that was his yankee accent.”
Walken was caught in the baggage handlers’ break room near the Southwest Airlines operation at the airport. He apparently attacked a co-worker who was mocking him. Southwest Airlines baggage handler Nate Jensen said, “I was talking with Eddie Royce (another Southwest baggage handler) who does great imitations. I mean, you should hear Eddie do Andrew Dice Clay. He kills it!” Jensen continued, “ He started imitating Roger in the break room. ‘Where …….should I put……. these bags?’ You know, with big pauses in between words.” Jensen said, “It was hilarious. Then out of nowhere Roger (Walken) just flies into Eddie and tackles him. He was major pissed.” Jensen said, “It was then that I realized Christopher Walken was my coworker for the last several months. Amazing.” He added, “I’m so gonna post this as my facebook status (knowing Christopher Walken) for like the next hundred years.”
Word of the incident reached the supervisors very quickly and Walken spoke with Southwest Airlines ramp supervisor Doug Adamson. Adamson said, “He just wanted a job again after his acting career had floundered after such disasters as “Click” and “Envy” and thought he could be a great baggage handler.” Adamson continued, “He told us he was trying to resurrect interest in his career by painting sword like images on the tail cones of airplane engines.” When asked why the sword image, Walken mentioned the Saturday Night Live skit where he played a Civil War Confederate officer humorously named ‘Colonel Angus’ who wore a hat that had swords on it. The female cast members would speak fondly of ‘Colonel Angus’ and when his name was mentioned quickly, and in a Southern accent, it would sound very much like an oral sexual act. It was a very funny sketch according to Walken, and loaded with hilarious double entendres regarding ‘going south’ and ‘not minding the humidity.’





Christopher Walken as Colonel Angus

Some pilots were worried that the sword images were of a religious or gang related nature. Southwest Airlines pilot manager Chuck Magill said, “We put out the word to our pilots about this, because they are some of the most paranoid people on the planet. They believe basically anything they read on the internet as long as it conforms to their beliefs,” he said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. He continued, “The super paranoid crazies are armed to the teeth and wouldn’t hesitate to go all pulp fiction on my ass if I didn’t respond with something,” he added, using his thumb and index finger in a mock handgun shape. “So, we thought we’d act all like, ‘Oh my freakin’ god- have you seen this s__ t on our planes; tell us and take pictures and write reports.’ You know, to make sure we look like we’re taking it seriously.” He continued, “I mean, we knew it would end up being something benign, but Christopher Walken? Not in a million years. Not in a million f___ing years.”
When Walken was told of one particularly paranoid pilot’s remarks about the sword images being ‘…the sword of Allah,’ Walken laughingly dismissed, “More like the sword of AWESOME!”
At a press conference, Southwest Airlines mechanic spokesman Ralf Schlotzsy said, “It has been troublesome removing the Colonel Angus sword stains. We have, however, gotten promising results using a diluted mixture of vinegar and water. Some mechanics complained of the process, mainly of the vapors involved, but have pressed on heroically. I told them what my dad, a German immigrant and former Pan Am mechanic told me when I was young. He said, ‘Son, if you first take real good care of the airplane, she will turn around and take real good care of you.’” The press conference ended when, after an embarrassingly long pause, a puzzled reporter asked, “Are we still talking about airplanes?”

Oh, snap!! those pesky URL tracers... so if you out yourself, it's OK right?
 

texman

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
1,334
Total Time
69
Guy's that is not me. It was sent via email and must have been copied. I actually go another email from my buddy at Delta that was the same with another picture. I don't not who that is. But never the less we are glade this is over.
 

Andy

12/13/2012
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Posts
3,101
Total Time
121312
Thx guy's! God I'm such an idiot! I have my days.

Not to worry; you weren't the only one. I don't think anyone picked up on it until I mentioned the Onion in the second post. I mentioned The Onion in my first post but that kind of skipped like a stone on the water.
I'm glad to hear that you weren't the one who left the URL fingerprint ... I consider that to be a bigger transgression. And I'm guessing that David Mehr's the source of this 'news' article. He did a decent job until paragraph 4 and 5; that was over the top. But the Barney Stinson-like (How I Met Your Mother) AWESOME quote was funny.
 

Ty Webb

Hostage to Fortune
Joined
Dec 10, 2001
Posts
6,525
Total Time
11000+
The Onion carries on the proud tradition of the National Lampoon. It's a free newspaper published in Madison, and I believe they publish it in Denver, too.
 

dicko

"It's a formidable scent"
Joined
Jun 7, 2007
Posts
1,432
Total Time
10k ?
Guy's that is not me. It was sent via email and must have been copied. I actually go another email from my buddy at Delta that was the same with another picture. I don't not who that is. But never the less we are glade this is over.


You're not a 98 hire are you Tex ?

:p
 

texman

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 29, 2006
Posts
1,334
Total Time
69
Nope, not 98. But will be a new hire at D nang airlines with Ty if we don't get this SLI done. LOL.
 
Top