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7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant

onewithwings

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 3, 2006
Posts
776
Total Time
14 yrs
We are all guilty of one or two of these: 7 Ways to Annoy a Flight Attendant

1. Bring your pet on the plane and then act like an animal.
Over the years, I've seen a pet on a passenger's lap, a pet tucked into a seatback pocket, and a pet loose in the aisle (I nearly hit one with my beverage cart). All of this is against federal regulations. People tell me how well-behaved their pet is, but they can't follow the rules themselves! Your pet must stay in its carrier while you're on the plane. Yes, even if you've paid a "pet-in-cabin" fee.

(Better yet, pets should travel in the cargo compartment, IMHO)

2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."

3. Think that because you're on an airplane you're off-duty as a parent.
Stop expecting us to have spare diapers, formula, medicine, toys, playing cards, or batteries for DVD players or Game Boys. It's an airplane, not a 7-11. Take your kid to the restroom before you board. Leave the dry cereal and Legos at home and bring snacks and toys for your kids that won't make a horrible mess.

(I witnessed a woman with 4 young boys bring play-doh on the plane to keep them busy. The entire row was plastered with clay when they deplaned.)

4. Drag on an oversize bag that's too heavy for you to lift by yourself.
I won't be compensated for any injuries I might sustain if I heft your bag into the overhead compartment for you. (And other passengers shouldn't have to step up and take the risk either.) The guideline is simple: You pack it, you stack it. Try this at home as a test (and this is to you ladies, especially): After you've packed your bag, put on the shoes you plan to wear on the plane and see if you can lift your bag and place it on top of your refrigerator. You can't? Pay the fee and check the bag.

5. Gripe that you haven't been seated in a roomy exit-row seat.
The exit rows weren't created as a reward for people who are tall, overweight, or just plain nice. They were designed to help passengers get out of the plane in an emergency. The people seated in an exit row must be able to see and speak clearly, open the emergency door, and help others. I prefer to see uniformed military, firefighters, law-enforcement officers, or off-duty pilots and flight attendants sitting in those seats. While the gate agent may assign exit-row seats first, the flight attendant makes the final determination about who gets to sit in them. And the quality of our choices is one of the frequent concerns of Federal Aviation Administration officials when they audit airlines for safety practices. So please don't complain. I'm just doing my job.

6. Act like you don't know the meaning of the words "under the seat in front of you."
Someday I will be muttering "under the seat in front of you" in the old-age home for flight attendants. What is it that you don't understand? To be clear, items should not be stowed behind your calves, under your feet like a footstool, in the open seat next to you, or in your lap. It's under the seat in front of you. And it applies to everything you carry on board. Items stored carelessly can trip others, or dislodge during takeoff and get lost, or inconvenience others. And while I'm on the topic: Please don't wrap your purse (or umbrella strap) around your ankle to keep from forgetting it. What will happen in an emergency, when every second counts and there's no time to disentangle yourself from your precious bag? Will you drag it ball-and-chain-style down the aisle of a burning plane?

7. Whine about the high price of flying.
When I hear people complain about coach airfares, I know they're not keeping up with the news. Fares have rarely been cheaper. In recent years, it's not uncommon for you to be able to cross the continent for under $130 each way, with a maximum of one layover. It's a bargain! At that price, you're barely paying for the fuel to get your body there—never mind the cost of shipping your 50 pounds of gear. You're already on the gravy plane. People point to first class ticket holders and want to know why they don't get the same treatment. Wake up folks: You're getting a great deal. If you want even more, pay more!
 

Hawkered

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2004
Posts
496
Total Time
10,320
8.

Actually expect kind and courteous service on your $800 one hour trip.

That really pisses off most of 'em!
 

NetjetsFalcon

Active member
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Posts
25
Total Time
13500
2. Shove your bag into the first bin you see and then walk to your seat in the back of the plane.
You think you're clever, I know. You expect to grab your bag on your way out of the plane, but you're selfishly inconveniencing others. I can't lie and say we flight attendants don't take some small satisfaction when we tell you, "We couldn't identify the bag's owner, so we sent it to cargo." It's a security issue, for real. Carry-ons need to stay near their owners! So don't look so shocked when we say, "The signs will direct you to baggage claim. You can pick up your bag there."

If it were a security issue the bag would be removed from the airplane, not put down below. Try again. Its awesome when FA's quote FAA requlations that don't exist.
 

B727FA

Bring your own FOD bucket
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
Posts
635
Total Time
Enough
Oh it's a joke, NJA...relax and groom your ceiling.
 

NetjetsFalcon

Active member
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Posts
25
Total Time
13500
I'll relax as soon as you put your People magazine down, get off your permanent ass imprinted jumpseat, and at least pretend you care about the customers on board your airplane.
Customer service is a skill to be practiced and perfected. Whining incessantly about everything you hate about your job leaves you with a very simple and easy solution to having to deal with these horrible, wretched, fare paying passengers:


Quit.




I'll get back to grooming my ceiling now, turns out I take pride in my job.
 

B727FA

Bring your own FOD bucket
Joined
Mar 28, 2006
Posts
635
Total Time
Enough
Honey, I went to NJA...I LEFT NJA; turns out I didn't want to "Show Up, Shut Up and Serve." Since I see you're on the Sleezy you're at least 4 years in (I know, the CBA requires only 12 months, but since 3 of the last 4 hires either quit, were fired or couldn't get off IOE (after 8 months!)...who's left?)...and bully for you.

Let's put it this way: I take pride in ME. I'm more than a job, and more than an over-paid, under appreciated 10 seat sittin', GV wishin', EZ bitchin' prima dona...I'm a COMMERCIAL Flight Attendant who can, and does, out serve your a$$ any day.

Next!
 

kingairyahoo

my old job...
Joined
Sep 13, 2004
Posts
515
Total Time
41yrs
i dont have a dog in this fight (no pun intended)...but this thread gets my vote for posting of the week ;)
 

NetjetsFalcon

Active member
Joined
Apr 11, 2006
Posts
25
Total Time
13500
Honey, I went to NJA...I LEFT NJA; turns out I didn't want to "Show Up, Shut Up and Serve." Since I see you're on the Sleezy you're at least 4 years in (I know, the CBA requires only 12 months, but since 3 of the last 4 hires either quit, were fired or couldn't get off IOE (after 8 months!)...who's left?)...and bully for you.

Let's put it this way: I take pride in ME. I'm more than a job, and more than an over-paid, under appreciated 10 seat sittin', GV wishin', EZ bitchin' prima dona...I'm a COMMERCIAL Flight Attendant who can, and does, out serve your a$$ any day.

Next!


Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting that! I have not laughed that hard in such a long time!

I can totally picture you saying "I TAKE PRIDE IN ME!" doing two snaps up in a circle while you're watching Will and Grace re-runs and drinking an appletini. Awesome stuff!

You are spot on with the fact I have at least "4 years in". I'm a 17 year Captain for Netjets, and your posts are making you look sillier and sillier. (Didnt want to use the "GAY" because that would be insensitive and frankly give you a tad bit more credibility....

Cheers.
 

samballs

Well-known member
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Apr 26, 2005
Posts
1,511
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000000
I can think of more than 7 things flight atts do to anoy everyone else on the plane
 

Hawkered

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2004
Posts
496
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10,320
Or down the aisle, when we're sitting in an aisle seat.

The FAA should really get involved in this one. How on earth are some of these people supposed to help anyone in an emergency evacuation?
 

PHXFLYR

USAir by default
Joined
Feb 5, 2003
Posts
2,177
Total Time
>0;<1
Honey, I went to NJA...I LEFT NJA; turns out I didn't want to "Show Up, Shut Up and Serve." Since I see you're on the Sleezy you're at least 4 years in (I know, the CBA requires only 12 months, but since 3 of the last 4 hires either quit, were fired or couldn't get off IOE (after 8 months!)...who's left?)...and bully for you.

Let's put it this way: I take pride in ME. I'm more than a job, and more than an over-paid, under appreciated 10 seat sittin', GV wishin', EZ bitchin' prima dona...I'm a COMMERCIAL Flight Attendant who can, and does, out serve your a$$ any day.

Next!


That and $1.85 will get you a cup of Starbucks in the morning.... :rolleyes:


PHXFLYR:cool:
 

flyboyzii

This is like Romper Room
Joined
Feb 9, 2004
Posts
424
Total Time
tens
That and $1.85 will get you a cup of Starbucks in the morning.... :rolleyes:


PHXFLYR:cool:

You can get a cup of Joe at Starbucks for $1.85

I drink "potable" coffee (airplane coffee) that way I save $1.85 each cup
 

PHXFLYR

USAir by default
Joined
Feb 5, 2003
Posts
2,177
Total Time
>0;<1
Your are a brave soul. You ever see what sits at the bottom of those coffee urns ??

PHXFLYR
 
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