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W. H. Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition
Next time you're on campus and see my ex-girlfriend, can you kick her in the ass for me? I'd appreciate it.
Flip Conroy said:Typical day as a corporate pilot. Well….
Show up at the airport/aircraft and hour and a half before the proposed departure time to get everything ready to go, and just in case the pompous, overbearing executive shows up early. However, as usual, the pompous, overbearing executive shows up late, greets you with a “grunt” that, in your mind’s attempt to remain up-beat and cheerful, you interpret as a “hello” and/or “good morning”.
One pilot loads the luggage, if there is any, closes the door, and performs the before start, after start, before taxi, etc., checklists, while the other pilot has already started the engines and begun the taxi without the benefit of these checklists. At this point, there is still some small chance that the before takeoff checklist will be completed before the captain (who always flies the legs that carry the pompous, overbearing executives) pushes the power levers up and begins the takeoff roll.
Fly the aircraft to the Hooterville Municipal Airport, one runway, 3800 X 75 feet. The performance data that you calculated (typically the co-pilot calculates this data, and shows it to the captain…who maybe will bother to look at it….but usually believes he can get into any airport with a runway) determined that, under ideal conditions, you need 3750 feet of runway required. It just so happens that today, the conscientious, conservative and extremely competent captain is flying, and he knows that the Gotham City International Airport is located 5 miles away (8 minutes drive time) from Hooterville Municipal, and it has an 8000 X 150 ft runway served by an ILS with other desirable facilities. The captain tries to explain his safety concerns to the pompous, overbearing passenger, as well as the flight operations management personnel (chief pilot, or other flt dept manager), but they insist that the customer needs to land at Hooterville. Besides, the data says you only need 3750 ft of runway, and you have 3800….what’s the problem?
Land at Hooterville, and manage to get it stopped using max reverse, max braking, and all your available skills, then taxi to the shack that serves as an FBO. By the way, part of the reason that the landing distance was as long as it was is because Hooterville offers no jet fuel, so you had to tanker round trip fuel. Go into shack, find several month old copies of “Plane and Pilot” and “Trade-A-Plane”. Browse these magazines. Pick nose repeatedly until you are convinced there are no more nuggets. Repeat this process until you are ABSOLUTELY convinced. Remembered that you need to go into town to pick up some pistachios since you only had cashews on board, because the last time you flew this pompous, overbearing executive, he wanted cashews. However today, as he deplaned in Hooterville, he berated you “What’s wrong with you guys, can’t you do anything right? Don’t you know I like pistachios on board when I fly?” While you’re in town, in the airport mgr’s 1979 Nissan pickup that he let you borrow, you decide to get some lunch. You’re in luck…at least there’s a “Golden Corral” in town, so you don’t have to settle on a sandwich from the same gas station/convenience store where you got the pistachios.
Return to airport, pick nose some more, since you thought that maybe you were able to generate a few nuggets from the combination of cigarette smoke and cooking particulates in the air at the Corral. Wait until the pompous, overbearing executive shows up an hour and a half later than advised, then fly the return trip to your home airport. Spend the next hour cleaning the aircraft, emptying the “honey bucket”, and preparing the plane for the next day's flight.
Archer said:Falcon, you said you've been to Spain and I'm guessing other countries in Europe...
what are your thoughts on the JAA rules, flying in European airspace in general...and is corporate flying common there?