You won't believe what I heard on ATC Frequency

[CUEBOAT]

not tremendously funny but once heard Miami ask an MU-2 for a increase in descent.

Miami: mitsu:12345 can you give me a good rate to 5000

mitsu12345 : give it the greasy tool box to 5000

 

[Dash8]

What do you call a Mexican who marries your daughter? A Spaniard.

NEIN!!

 

[Dash8]

heard a fairly lengthy disertation about how good a bbq joint in syracuse was on lga ground awhile back

 

[Wasted]

heard a fairly lengthy disertation about how good a bbq joint in syracuse was on lga ground awhile back

The Dinosaur is good, but I still like Kansas City the best.

 

[Brokenwings]

Here are some ON THE AIR stories that I read in IFR periodical paper:

*The Goodyear blimp was nearing Salinas, California airport a few years ago. Salinas tower told an arriving Cherokee that the blimp was south of the airport at 1500 feet.
The Cherokee pilot asked: "Is that from the top or the bottom?"

*There had been some muddled dialogue between ground control and a Cessna at Boeing Field, Seattle.
The Cessna pilot had a strong accent and was apparently confused:
Boeing ground: "Cessna 12345, state your intentions."
Cessna 12345: "First, I am going to get my private license, then my instrument, commercial and twin rating. Then, I will get my ATP and then I will go back and fly for my homeland."
Boeing ground: "Yeah, but what are you going to do in the next five minutes?"

*Heard on Atlanta approach a while back:
Bugsmasher 123: "Atlanta approach, Bugsmasher 123 is VFR to Columbus requesting flight following."
Atlanta: "Bugsmasher 123, Atlanta approach, roger. say position and altitude."
Bugsmasher 123: "Ah, about five miles north of Lawrenceville at 6500 feet."
Atlanta: "Bugsmasher 123, radar contact. (pause) Are you squawking 6500?"
123: "Affirmative."
Atlanta: "Why is that?"
123: "The last controller told me to squawk my altitude."

 

[AutoCars Armed]

Haven't been to yyz lately but is the guy that always says "'a rog" (in a french canadian accent) still working departure?

 

[Brokenwings]

more stories from ON THE AIR

*Heard on Albuquerque Center:
Southwest 123 (assigned FL260 as an intermediate altitude): "Center, we're comin' up on 260. Can we keep on climbing?"
Center (calmly): "Not unless you want to hit somebody."

* Taxiing out from the Delta Ramp in Cincinnati early one morning:
Copilot: "Delta Two Thousand Two, taxi."
Ramp tower: "Delta Two Thousand Two, taxi spot 5, call ground."
Copilot: "Delta Two Thousand Two, wilco."
Captain: "Ramp, if we had called for taxi with Delta 2K2, would you have known who we are?"
Ramp tower: "Well, since I've had five cups of coffee, and since you are the only aircraft moving right now, I think I would."

* Heard on Chicago approach:
Approach: (Frustrated) "Warrior 12345, you have to listen up and pay attention. You're not responding to any of my instructions and your heading is off. Please turn to heading one seven zero to intercept the localizer, maintain 3000 until established, cleared for the approach."
Warrior: "Uh, Warrior 12345, Roger."
Approach: "Warrior 12345, one seven zero on the heading."
Warrior: " Uh, Roger, zero seven zero."
Approach: (angry) "I said one seven zero. You know what, cancel your approach clearance and fly heading zero seven zero if that's where you want to go."

*Heard at Republic Airport, Long Island, NY:
Ground controller to a cargo Beech-18 taxiing in: "What are you houling today?"
Twin Beech: "10000 baby chicks." (pause) "And we had a heck of a job getting them to put their seat belts on."

* Heard over Richmond control frequency:
Cessna: "Richmond Approach, Cessna Six Thousands Yankee approaching from the North?"
Richmond Control: " Oh no, not again."

 

[Floyd R. Turbo]

Atlanta: "Bugsmasher 123, radar contact. (pause) Are you squawking 6500?"
123: "Affirmative."
Atlanta: "Why is that?"
123: "The last controller told me to squawk my altitude."

A guy in my UPT class did that in a 38, only he was at 7500. Caused a bit of a stir until they got it straightened out.


Two others I've heard...

1) Cleveland Center: "USAir 123, squawk 4321."

USAir 123: "Unable, call ya back"

Cleveland Center: "Ohhhhh k."

A few minutes later,

USAir 123: "Cleveland, what was that squawk again? we can take it now"

Cleveland Center: "4321. (Long pause) Ok, I'll bite. Why couldn't you take it before?"

USAir 123: "Wellll, the FO was in the back and I just couldn't figure out how it works on this one."


2) Cleveland Center: "N2468, proceed direct Sandusky"

N2468: "Direct Sandusky, 468"

Unidentified: "How come he gets direct Sandusky? Every time I come up here I get vectored all over the place.

Cleveland Center, without missing a beat: "We like him."

 

[jetflier]

So, there I was....

I would like to start a thread about crazy things heard on ATC, I know you all have one. I have a collection of them I have recieved off of AVWEB's "Short Final" segment. I also have some I've heard flying in and out of ORD every day. Here is my favorite (If you fly in to ORD much, I know you've heard this, if you have give me an Amen):

AIR MEXICANA: Ground, Aero Mehicana 345 clearing Tango Seven

ORD GROUND: Okay everybody, just stop where you are! Air Mexicana, Taxi to your gate. I don't care how you get there, just go.

AIR MEXICANA: To the gate, ROY-YER

UNIDENTIFIED AIRLINER 1: ROY-YER -chuckle-

UNIDENTIFIED AIRLINER 2: ROY-YER -chuckle-

Oh...I thought this was "JET BLUE".............

 

[say again]

Pilot: N12345 looking for IFR to AAA

Clearance: Clearance on request

Pilot: OK I'll take it now

Clearance: No, I said on request

Pilot: I'm requesting it now