HAZ-MAT
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Women
- Thread starter mar
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Ailerongirl
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avoidingmyboss
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Hugh Jorgan
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HAZ-MAT
Glowing Member
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okay yea those were wierd, so i'll make it up.
I need a job at Home Depot....
http://www.video-c.co.uk/frontend/asp/microshow.asp?vidref=benn001&FileType=ADSLprog
I need a job at Home Depot....
http://www.video-c.co.uk/frontend/asp/microshow.asp?vidref=benn001&FileType=ADSLprog
mar
Remember this one?
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2001
- Posts
- 1,929
Have you seen these? Pretty funny.
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are 'our' rules! Please note--these are all numbered '1' on purpose!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
1. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can--to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can--to give them an education!!
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are 'our' rules! Please note--these are all numbered '1' on purpose!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up. You need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
1. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can--to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can--to give them an education!!
I've always wondered why men have to have the seat up. Some of the guys I know are constantly bragging about winning pissing contests and getting into pissing matches. You'd think y'all would have better aim than my Aunt who claimed she won a match from the second story.
Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein
Hawker rider
(gold)Member
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2001
- Posts
- 249
urflyingme?!
Man Among Men
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2004
- Posts
- 1,275
Hugh Jorgan
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Posts
- 2,307
flyifrvfr
CFII/MEI right seater
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2004
- Posts
- 495
Re: Two words...
Tom Leykis sucks. His 101 is nothing more than common sense. He only gets laid because he has lots of money. I've seen pics of him and he is hedious. I'm broke and I'm slinging much lumber and it don't cost me a dime, except to pony up for the cheap room.
Hugh Jorgan said:
Tom Leykis sucks. His 101 is nothing more than common sense. He only gets laid because he has lots of money. I've seen pics of him and he is hedious. I'm broke and I'm slinging much lumber and it don't cost me a dime, except to pony up for the cheap room.
Hugh Jorgan
Well-known member
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2001
- Posts
- 2,307
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