Who is the dumbest dispatcher you have worked with?

[Mr Wu]

Had a dispatcher tell me I didn't need a second alternate because by the time I get to my destination, shoot an approach, go missed, go in the hold and get in touch with him it would be past the time that the next TAF period was valid at the alternate and we would have the weather for an approach. Basically building in a 30 min delay for planning purposes.

 

[30West]

IAD-PIT, alternate CMH. Why did PIT need an alternate? Because of a huge line of TS/ Tornadoes and hail scheduled to arrive at the same time as us. If I had to actually go to CMH I would have had to fly through the approaching line to get there!

How about an alternate airport that is clear and a million, but with one runway closed and the other reported braking action poor! (NOTAMS!)

I can talk smack because I've also been a dispatcher and done dumb stuff from both sides of the radio!

 

[hoover]

Maybe this is a repost...but Im pissed at dispatch today and would like to hear some good stories.

VSI

Here we see the difference between a pilot and a dispatcher. When a dispatcher has a bad day, he sucks it up and gets on with things. When a pilot has a bad day, he has to make sure that everyone else has a bad day too.

 

[momalley81]

Here we see the difference between a pilot and a dispatcher. When a dispatcher has a bad day, he sucks it up and gets on with things. When a pilot has a bad day, he has to make sure that everyone else has a bad day too.

Not quite- When a dispatcher has a bad day, he goes home, takes and asprine or three and calls it a day.

When a pilot has a bad day, they end up a smoking hole in the ground.

SLIGHT differance.

 

[VSI9k+]

Here we see the difference between a pilot and a dispatcher. When a dispatcher has a bad day, he sucks it up and gets on with things. When a pilot has a bad day, he has to make sure that everyone else has a bad day too.

You suck it up, and then go home and have sex with your boyfriend...yeah, thats a real tough living you are making there buddy. This forum was aimed at asking pilots a question, not so much for the queers in dickscratch.

VSI

 

[wings421]

During my LearJet IOE @ AirNet we were holding for a storm over CMH and the check airman called dispatch to see what the weather was really doing at the field. We were running LOW on fuel and it was time to punch out and divert or bring it on in. You could hear the dispatcher typing and checking the weather on the computer in the background of the radio transmission (the dispatcher sits right next to a window looking at 28L/10R). He began to read the Metar off of the computer. About halfway into it, the check airman screamed "xxx look out the F***'n window and tell me what the weather is"!

 

[AMDFlyer]

You suck it up, and then go home and have sex with your boyfriend...yeah, thats a real tough living you are making there buddy. This forum was aimed at asking pilots a question, not so much for the queers in dickscratch.

VSI

Yeah...There is no room for bottomfeeder dispatchers here!

 

[Clark W.]

Acars dispatch to get weather in Orlando. Instead I get a hockey score.

 

[Trogdor]

How about filed west out of Denver at 10000 MSL with no pressurization.

 

[sir5list]

How about these:

- A dispatcher who applies the 1-2-3 rule to alternates..

- Another who files an ATR 72 at FL240 - for a 23 minute flight..

- One who tells pilots about level 7 TS's..

 

[Linetech]

Heres a good Dispatcher about a dispatcher story! Managment had the bright idea to hire a 17yr old Private pilot as a DX. Anyways on Sat, a slow day he was learning some basic things about Alternates etc etc. Later that day, got a call from SLC CNTR stating a pilot never Cancelled his IFR. Made some calls he never landed, nobody has seen him, No answer on his cell phone. At this point im getting worried.

45 min passes, SLC Center decides its time to get SAR up, Since we had not heard from him. While Im going thur about 100 calls a min with OPS, SAR etc. he gets the bright idea to give his wife a call to see if she has seen him becuase we can't find him. Now before he finished dialing the number, I asked who are you calling?

"His Wife"

What the hell for?

"to let her know"

I explained to him, we do not even knwo what happened, plus if something bad has happened It is not our job to notify next of kin.

I just kept thinking what if he would have gotton a hold of her.

The plane ended up crashing and killing both pilots aboard .

a tuff day at the office, with an inexperienced kid..

I hope I never have to go thur that again!

 

[halfbank]

DX: Where are you?
Pilot: Hmmm, you called me on the sat phone....
DX: Yeah, WHERE ARE YOU?
Pilot: Hmmm, would you like the coordinates?
DX: Huh?
Pilot: The sat phone is attached to the plane you idiot!!!

 

[big_al]

wow what an eerie thread

 

[idleclamp]

At my last job we had a couple of dispatchers that had what I like to call "Shiny Object Syndrome". They would send us to BFE in the middle of the night, to which I would ask, "Does the FBO know we're coming?" "Are you going to make sure they know, because it's very cold with no payphone." The reply, "Oh yeah, just picking up the phone to call them right now." In the process of them making said phone call, they would notice some shiny object in the office, or pass by, or whatever. They would COMPLETELY lose all train of thought and forget that they even sent me!:angryfire

 

[flyinloki]

Yah, Terry started this thread. R.I.P.