when you gotta go...

[scubabri]

I've got a question for all you small jet, long range pilots, how difficult is it when you gotta go? You know.. really go! as in one exit, no waiting.

Anyone have any stories of say, uncomfortable moments?

sb

 

[wild bill kelso]

I know a former lake's pilot who had an explosive decompression of his bowels going into ORD. The plane and his F/O have never been the same again!

 

[Flying Illini]

Had a flight with the prez of our company in the Falcon 10. It's got a pot but you don't want to use it. It's like pissing in the pax's laps and the curtain isn't much help. It was a 3.5hr leg. Not that long, I've certainly held it longer but this time the coffee got me. That and the fact that I usually take a #2 every morning but on those real early shows/departures, my body isn't ready to perform. Well, my body wasn't ready before departure but it was ready about 1.5 hrs into this 3.5hr leg. D'oh! Then the coffee (which usually isn't a big problem) became a big problem about an hour later. The captain picked up on my growing discomfort and proceded to tell me his story (talking about it only made my problems worse). Needless to say I made it...but barely, and I mean barely! It was all I could do to not open the door and just bust into the FBO. I managed to unload and talk with the pax, get their bags from the back and then see them on their way. Then I booked inside. One of the pax was in their signing for their rental car and saw me flash by and just started laughing. He knew (when they returned to the plane that afternoon I greeted them and as he was getting on (he was the last one) he just looked at me and asked if it all came out OK. Embarrassing but I was able to laugh and he did too.). I was unbuckling/unzipping as I went into the bathroom (I didn't care who saw...they were going to see alot more if I didn't make it) to what was probably the most needed "bodily functions" ever. It took a little for the systems to straighten themselves out. That sucked. Never again...I hope. I really really hope I never have to use the pot on the -10. That would have been even worse.
Stuff like this never happens when I'm flying the -20 .

My captains story was single pilot in the king air. The pax showed up early and he figured he could hold his #2 for 2 hours so they could get on their way. He said he contemplated landing somewhere enroute since leaving the cockpit just wasn't an option...however he DID consider it. He had to go. At destination he just said, I gotta run, later (it was just a drop off) and went inside. Said it took him 5 hours of just in and out of the bathroom. He'd held it so long he was all backed up and his system was screwed. Said it was terrible.

 

[GravityHater]

Is there a Dr on board?
I have always wondered when you hold #1 for too long.... you have to wait for a LOOONG while before you get to .... well ..... 'go'. Others share similar experiences. You gotta GO, GO, GO, then when you get there you wait and wait and squirm and then FINALLY, ooohhh it hurts so goood!

 

[Wankel7]

I always drink Gatorade...from the 32OZ bottles. When the urge comes that big mouth bottle makes things a little easier to aim for #1.

I like to drink a lot in flight though. ESP when we are on the O2 masks. Sure dries you out.

Wankel

 

[English]

This is why I only fly 20-40 minute legs now.

One of my interview questions at my last job (single pilot light jet with a male pee tube installed in the cockpit) was, "what will you do if you have physiological needs during flight?"

That was never an interview question I was expecting to get!

 

[minitour]

This is why I only fly 20-40 minute legs now.

One of my interview questions at my last job (single pilot light jet with a male pee tube installed in the cockpit) was, "what will you do if you have physiological needs during flight?"

That was never an interview question I was expecting to get!

you know, my wife found out through a friend of hers that they have female to male "adaptors" for just such cases.


Hey, if you had some tail mounted engines and tried to crap out the window, would **CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED****CENSORED** hit the fan?

-mini

 

[VNugget]

My CFI told me once that once after a cross-country trip, he just shut down on the taxiway, jumped out, and went in the grass.

 

[350DRIVER]

Is there a Dr on board?
I have always wondered when you hold #1 for too long.... you have to wait for a LOOONG while before you get to .... well ..... 'go'. Others share similar experiences. You gotta GO, GO, GO, then when you get there you wait and wait and squirm and then FINALLY, ooohhh it hurts so goood!

I have read articles in the past from medical research institutions where you can do serious damage and harm to your internal organs if you continue to keep this "waste" inside of your body for prolonged periods of time. In a way this can end up "poisoning" your body and doing more harm than one would assume.

A guy who upgraded about the same time I did at a former company had one story that pretty much took the icing right off of the cake. He was doing a 135 trip single pilot in a B100 from CLE to somewhere (forget) and about 1 hour into the flight he had to do a #2 and could not hold it anymore, apparently he made something up that he was getting some sort of "warning" indication and he told the pax he needed to land to have mx take a look before they could go on. He landed and made the pax wait on the plane while he made a quick run for the inside to take care of his business, made a call to ops and made something up which I forget since it was second hand information, went back to the airplane and was then underway "again". I guess someone at the fbo or a pax must have said something since he rarely was ever used after that flight.

3 5 0

 

[minitour]

...I guess someone at the fbo or a pax must have said something since he rarely was ever used after that flight.

3 5 0

thats a "sh*tty" deal.

har har har

Thanks folks, I'll be here all week, try the roast beef!

-mini

 

[350DRIVER]

thats a "sh*tty" deal.

har har har

Thanks folks, I'll be here all week, try the roast beef!

-mini

Yeah, I guess he was sh!t out of luck in the end....

3 5 0

 

[scubabri]

Right before I got my instrument rating I was stuck up at Lakeland with a friend and his young daughter, it was typical evening tboomers and the airport was IFR and not smart enough at the time to figure out a SVFR I was stuck.

Finally at about 10:30pm we are able to blast off outta there.. so off we go back to tamiami, just before venice, the little girl starts crying that she has to go. We ask her if she can hold it and she starts wailing she has to go, fortunatly, I was right over venice.. emergency descent, still turning over the numbers, touch down, shut down, and roll off on the taxiway, she bails out, just in time in the grass... thank god it was dark...

The othertime, flying checks late at night from mgf to hhr, over the water, late at night and we'll just say, things started moving, and well, in waves of intestinal pain, 30 minutes out from HHR, I didn't think I was gonna make it, touch down, roll down to the end.. and of course, no place to go. I think I'm gonna blow, so, I find a nice dark spot under the LOC antenna.. I wonder if the dark spot is still there.

sh*t happens I suppose. Getting older means less warning of when things decide to move.

 

[minitour]

Yeah, I guess he was sh!t out of luck in the end....

3 5 0

oh you pilots!

 

[rk772]

Once while doing touch and goes on an uncontrolled field in Louisiana, my student informed me that he had to pee and couldn’t hold it. We were at an old field that didn’t have an FBO or a taxiway. We made a stop at the end of the runway and I turned the Cessna around for takeoff. I told my student to jump out and go in the grass. He then ran about 20 feet directly behind the plane. I couldn’t resist, once I saw the yellow stream begin, I pressed hard on the breaks and ran the Throttle to full power. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen. The bad thing is I now had to ride in the plane next to my now wet student. It’s a good thing we were good friends before I began instructing him or I might have been fired.

 

[hobbsmeter]

LOL, that's hilarious. Reminds me of Chris Farley in "Tommy Boy".

 

[vetteracer]

There was a guy I flew cargo with that had a touch of the Flu and on an hour trip he had the rumbling pain from within. I was about 15minutes behind him to the same destination and was chatting with him on company. He was telling me his problem and then just broke down and told me he had to go or he was going to crap himself. He had a light jacket on and took it off, and put it on the floor between the 2 front seats of the 402 (right over the fuel selectors). Then he let go. When I landed I noticed him tossing his jacket in the dumpster. I felt so bad for him that I actually could contain my laughter.

I use to keep some Zip Lock baggies in my flight case. I used them to pee in. I would then just toss them out the window. I had one that was rather full and had a hard time zipping it closed. When I tossed it out the window it broke open on the way out and sprayed me.

Mark

 

[uwochris]

Nice topic!

I have had many occasions where I try to hold it in. Generally, I fly 6-7 hour days in an uncomfy 152, and I always try to split the day in half. On many instances, however, I would have to divert after only 1 hour or so because it got too painful. It's not easy to concentrate on taking good aerial photographs when all you can think of is getting to the bathroom.

The longest leg I have done non-stop is 5 hours. I did not have my regular huge cup of coffee that morning! I am not really looking forward to flying bigger a/c without bathrooms... I can't sacrifice my coffee! Without it, I get grumpy

Actually, just last week I tried to see if I could go in the airplane. I brought one of those water bottles with me, but it never worked out. The mouth of the bottle was too small, and it was too difficult to try to control the a/c properly. I decided to land at the nearest airport instead, which was probably the right decision