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What is your "oh Sh*t" moment?

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>>>>Perhaps if her school offered it online we could ALL attend it.

Funny you should mention it, Metro. She once asked on DOC's FAR forum if she could log the "instruction" she gave in internet chatrooms and over ICQ. Like Dave Barry says: I swear I'm not making this up!!!


regards
 
*SIGH*

How many times am I gonna have to repeat that story before y'all get it correct...

Air Force One was AHEAD of us, Air Force TWO was behind us. I was on my second flight, the CFI had jumped out a long time ago, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn the night before. The second engine wouldn't start again, and the duct tape was peeling off the repair I made to the wing while the CFI was jumping out. He took the only good parachute and I didn't have time to sew a new one together from my flight bag and the headliner. I was able to put the fire out by spitting on it, too busy to use the fire extinguisher, which was out of reach anyway as it hit the ceiling during the wake turbulence encounter which had us inverted. Through occasional glances at the ground out the side window, as the front window was iced up in the freezing rain, I was able to see Bob's Grocery Store which told me I was just a few miles away from the airport. I was using the FAA medals to keep the yoke turned to the left because the bird strike had knocked off the one aileron before we entered the clouds. Well, the runway was closed because the aircraft ahead of Air Force One had landed gear up on the ice so One had to go missed approach saying something about not being able to see the airport anyway. Obviously he didn't know about Bob's store so I just threaded between the buildings in a perfect glide. Of course I didn't know how to land very good so the guys in the tower called the crash trucks to show me where the runway was. I just listened for the sirens and when I could count the grass blades, pulled back for a nice landing right next to the runway. But, tragedy struck. As I was getting out of the airplane, I broke a nail and I'd just had a French manicure!

:p

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein
 
OOoooppss! CHunk, bad timing, looks like she posted about the same time you did. You can take solace in the fact that although she has surfaced, she still hasn't "the cajones to defend her own words." Oh well!

So, Jedi, what is this special technique that is only available through your wings seminar? The one that is known to no other instrument pilot on the planet? If it is really all that you say it is, then it could save lives, ours and our passengers. If you don't share it with us, lives could be lost. Surely you couldn't in good concience deliberately withold information from us which could save our lives?

Your silence will be interpreted as tacit admission that your special technique really isn't all that special after all.

regards
 
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The "stupid questions I asked while in flight training" thread would be much longer....

I've asked on internet forums:
What was a PB4Y?
Why is the tail upside down?
What does diheadral do? (even spelled it wrong too!)
What is a "frize"?
Can I log PIC time if I am solo? (before August 7, 1997)
What does it take to be a good CFI?
Do airline pilots put the hood on and practice IFR flying?
Do you watch airspeed while landing?
What if you don't get hired when you complete a course of flight training?
How many hours does it take to solo?
Why doesn't the airplane stay on the runway?
What is an LDA?
Can a student pilot solo at night?
Where do I park at a different airport [from my home airport]?
I know what the blue flashing light is on the panel when I come to land, but what does the white flashing light next to it mean?

There are far, far, far more questions I've asked online and offline. Some weren't as "stupid" some were worse. It's a heck of a lot cheaper to ask a question than spend 20 frustrating hours doing whatever wrong.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein
 
A Squared, it's not my technique to give out freely. I erred in mentioning it in the first place, not realizing the intellectual property restriction that was placed on it while awaiting publication. When the time is right, I'll point you, and anyone else, in the right direction.

BTW, you forgot to post the entire email- not that the folks here need to see it - all it contained was an apology and a failed attempt at diplomacy.

In my youthful enthusiasm I do make mistakes. I attempt to correct those mistakes when I can. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. When I am wronged, I try to forgive. I have far more important things to do in the short time I'm on this planet than to stay awake nights worrying if [insert name here] still likes me.

For those that are wondering why I am not responding to certain persons, it is because I have them on my ignore list. I recommend all those that tire of my postings to put me on their ignore list. It's easy, fast, and works quite well.

Fly SAFE!
Jedi Nein
 
>>>>>I erred in mentioning it in the first place, not realizing the intellectual property restriction that was placed on it while awaiting publication.

Oh, I see....you'd tell us, but then you'd have to kill us. I suppose that would counteract any lifesaving tendency which it might have. Your continued evasion has been noted.

regards
 
When I recovered the aircraft, we were about to exceed red line airspeed, over 60 degrees of bank, over 10 degrees pitch down, and the VSI was pegged down. The autopilot had disconnected during this so the aircraft was very much out of trim.



Hmmm...nice technique. Wish I knew that one. I have another technique that works rather well. I take the airplane from my student before we exceed red line, pose a collision hazard, get violated by ATC, exceed aerobatic limits, etc. Too bad nobody on Earth knows about it but me. I'll sell it to ya if you come to my school and pay me, a 750 hr high timer, at least $10K for an instrument ticket. P.S. I do my aircraft maintenance with very special techniques too. Only $30K for an annual, and I'll test fly it with you.
 
I have seen this tread a while ago, and reread it as it popped up in a search, I have some funny things to add too, and some serious stuff, that i wouldn't mind telling, hoping that someday somebody might learn from it and get themselves out of a hairy situation, or even better never get INTO that hairy situation the the first place.

Let's start with the funny one first, as I saw a few questions raised about the issue of bowel movement.
I fly an old lear 24 and a 23, I flew airambulance with an older guy, but very inexperienced, we don't generally get along all too good to start with! we were on a live leg with a very bad patient and the nurses had to work hard to keep the guy from crashing, the already alerted us to the possibility that we might have to abort the trip during our customs and fuelstop, if not earlier.

My co-pilot had "cracked" quite a few and i was getting very irritated about that fact. I told him that much too, that he was a pig and stuff.... Then finally passing through FL240 he cracks one and looks over at me with his eyes popping outof his sockets, I make a smart remark, and he says something to the extent off " Oh man.... I think I just had an accident...." I start laughing and he says that it true and he couldn't help it. I have never laughed so hard in my life!!! Mind you, if you keep the same position, nothing can seep out and create smells (yet) so we land, taxi into the FBo and I sent him out first...as soon as he gets up this ENORMOUSLY terrible stench starts filling up the airplane and I had some gag refelxes, but could suppress vomiting. He runs into the rest room and starts cleaning up. The nurses offcourse know what's going on and he needs to get his bags out all the way in the back. That was not possible with the way the patient was going, so they wip out a can of spray from some serious stuff and he just has to cope with it until we get the patient on the airplane. We finally land and he goes and gets his clothes changed, All in all a situation that will stay with me forever!!!

This thread is too long, if i see any interest I will post part two
 
Well, I haven't been able read all these posts but after seeing HawkerRider's post, I had to put down my 'near' bowel movement experience.

I was on the returning leg of a solo X-Country in a C-152 on one of those days where I had about a 35kt headwind. Halfway back I got the sudden 'urge' but figured I could hold it for the remainder of the trip. I was looking down watching cars pass me on the highway I was flying parallel too and knew it was going to take much longer than I was able to hold it. The sad part is that I was sitting there trying to figure out how I could stick my as* out the window to relieve myself while still flying the airplane. After some consideration I decided that it might be hard to explain to the FBO owners and my instructor why there was sh*t strewn down the side of the airplane. I wound up diverting to another field and barely made it inside. My as* muscles hurt for days from that clenching....
 
Lets see,
Being at 300' AGL, sitting in the TSO seat of an SH-60F and realizing that we are out of turns and saying to myself..."This is going to hurt". And, it did...

Regards,

ex-Navy Rotorhead
 
some of these things are darn funny though!

time for my "oh sh*t moment"

We were flying home empty in the lear 24, I was a co-pilot. There were some thunderstorms arounr our airoprt, but we came in on the runway that didn't have an instrument approach published, besides Circle from an approach on the opposite runway. We were being vctored for the ILS and dodging around clouds. After getting below the clouds we saw the runway, an being very familiar with this area we requested a visual from that point. Well we got cleared for the visual. We saw that there was activity a few miles down the runway, but the runway itself was dry, and no activity really close, so we thought. we figured to put the plane on the ground and after shutdown the rain might have reached the airport.

Upon touchdown, no problem, so we Aero-brake with the nose up, and all of the sudden we HIT this huge wall of water. We are not able to see out of the windshield anymore. we have had some rain but this was the mother of all of them!! Captain Firewalls the throttles and I quickly hit the flaps up one notch and turn Air ignition on. We are away from the concrete ( or grass we can't see anymore...) in just a second. Positive rate...gear comes up w climb out with V2+10 max power on the engines, and we get about 1000'/min climb out of the good old lear.

Now this might sound like no problem for some of you propdrivers, but with our fuelload and being empty we should see at least the IVSI max out!!!! my captain yells "check if there is something wrong here!!" I run through the cockpit and don't notice anything that shouldn't be... so we keep climbing and get out of the cell around 2500' talk to approach quickly and we circle around for the cell to dissapear, which it didn't quickly enough so we diverted to the next big airport and hung around there for a while.

We must have been caught in a downdraft coming from the cell, the fact that we would have seen about 8000'/min with this configuration easily, and only got 1000 means that the downdrat must have been about 7000'/min

NOW that was one lucky thing that day, ANY other airplane and we would have been slammed against the ground.

Don't mess around with nature's fury!!!


p.s. As I was writing this i just realized that my current co-pilot lived through a tornado that took away his whole house, while he was sleeping on his couch. Thashed his whole neighbourhood and made him have I don't know how many stitches and staples in his head.......... I hope he hasn't used up all his luck yet in his lifetime!! better be carefull

M
 
You're killin' me. I thought I was the only on confused by her odd posts.

I am always in that state while reading her posts, I think "odd" would be somewhat of huge understatement- I can't even imagine the "how" "why" or even the logic behind most of her posts- I dunno anti-> possibly "we" are the ones that are thinking "off the wall"

Just seems a tad "unreal" and possibly that word doesn't even do proper justice-

anyways- I am getting just a tad uneasy reading some of these stories. I think a few may have had St. Peter onboard or looking over the flight and outcome..:D

c h e e r s

3 5 0
 
Being at 300' AGL, sitting in the TSO seat of an SH-60F and realizing that we are out of turns and saying to myself..."This is going to hurt". And, it did...

Can someone please translate this into fixed wing speak, please? :p
 
On how much a Private Cert. costs at her flight school:

The Chief CFI's time, 90 hours, aircraft rental of 60 hours, checkride; and pilot supplies including books, headset, flight bag, case, charts, and so on:
90 hours * $100 = $9000 (50 hours flight time, 40 hours ground instruction)
60 hours * $85 = $5100 (60 hours aircraft rental, less if flies more often, or $600 less in other aircraft)
$300 for checkride
$600 for the pilot supplies.
Total = $15,000
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would only hope that this is a complete "joke"? You have really got to be kidding me, I have seen some off the wall stuff but this surely takes the cake.... I have never laughed so hard in my life after reading this, sad thing is that it probably is not a "joke"

Holy smokes just when it couldn't get any funnier-

chief CFI at 700+ - come one, she would get laughed out of the eastern region if she pulled this junk around here-

t o o f u n n y -

3 5 0

am I the only one that is getting many laughs from these posts.?:D
 
Good question. My gut feeling is no but I'm curious too. OK, back to what I was going to say...

$100/hr for instruction!!!!! For ground instruction????? 50 hrs DUAL flight for private??? 40 hrs ground???? LMAO. Even the big academies aren't close to that kind of reaming.

Can I get some Astroglide with that or does it cost extra?
 
172driver said:

$100/hr for instruction!!!!! For ground instruction????? 50 hrs DUAL flight for private??? 40 hrs ground???? LMAO. Even the big academies aren't close to that kind of reaming.

Can I get some Astroglide with that or does it cost extra?

And I thought I was doing good getting $30 bucks an hour. I definately have to track this chick down and beg for a job. If I could fly 100 hours a month; THATS 10 GRAND!!!

Where do I sign up????
 
Can someone please translate this into fixed wing speak, please?

He was auto-rotating (gliding ... for us fixed-wing geeks) after a dual shutdown?

Minh
(R22 Meister)
 
This is more of an "aw sh*t" moment. I had completed my IFR rating and checkride without any problems but to my suprise after being rated for about 6 weeks, I get a letter from a FSDO stating that the DE who gave me a checkride was under investigation by the FAA.

They ( FAA & DE) were apparently having some kind of p*ssing match about things so the DE resigns, and ALL of the pilots from the last 15 checkrides that he gave had to re-schedule ANOTHER ride with someone from the FSDO to "make sure that the DE had complied with ALL the necessary requirements." I took the ride for the second time and I have been rated and FED free for 17 months now. :D
 
Good question. My gut feeling is no but I'm curious too. OK, back to what I was going to say...

I would tend to agree with the majority as well on this one.:D They must have some pretty "good" kool aid at her flight school that they are giving to students for someone to buy into such stupidity if in fact those prices are for real... I cannot say I have seen anything like that, not to mention that she seems to take pride in posting about being the "chief"... come on- What is the name of this flight school.??

Back to laughing,- ps > I think it is a fair assumption to make that she is back in hiding?:D :D


c h e e r s

3 5 0
 
Hawker Rider youre right about the a/c type. A very well known aviation personality and some pax were killed in a c210 last year in Johannesburg area due thunderstorm o/h airfield.

I do a lot of medevac in C402 and C208 in Namibia, we have "Oh Sh*t" moments on many flights.
Landing a C402 (day VFR)on 300metres of dirt road, uphill, between a bend in the road and a ditch, in the mountains.....produces many colourfull metaphors, 10 minutes of adrenalin induced shaking hands and squeezing the black juice outta the yoke.

Black hole approaches are done a lot, because there are only 4 airfields in Namibia with lighting, we use min 3 cars to set up lighting for medevacs on remote airstrips or dirt roads.

A black hole approach like that is difficult enough on its own, throw in cattle looming in the landing lights, or 1/2nm 300'agl on radar alitimeter and Rwy and cars suddenly obscured by THICK fog rolling in off the ocean....no 'accidents' yet, but have had a paramedic ( co-pilot too) p1ss their pants. No joke.
Africa's a tough country :cool: :D :eek:
 
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Hawkerrider,

Let me get this straight...you're already on the runway and rolling out and hit a solid downdraft with precip, and decide that it's safer to be back in the air dealing with it?
 
avbug said:
Hawkerrider,

Let me get this straight...you're already on the runway and rolling out and hit a solid downdraft with precip, and decide that it's safer to be back in the air dealing with it?

That was my same question Avbug. Why in the world would you leave the safety of the ground to fly right into the storm?
 
avbug said:
Hawkerrider,

Let me get this straight...you're already on the runway and rolling out and hit a solid downdraft with precip, and decide that it's safer to be back in the air dealing with it?

I was wondering precisely the same thing. What a bizarre thing to do. Didn't want to say anything though since I'm only a private pilot--but if someone as experienced as avbug thinks it too, well...
 
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heres a few different moments.....first job was flyuing a BN2 in Sabi Sands Game reserve. One day after last flight, pax been picked up and I'm standing at pilot's door, bag on seat, packing gear away, waiting for ride to come and fetch me. Its 5km to lodge and I'm not gonna walk!. Movement cathces my eye and I look up to see a Lioness creeping over the apron, about 15 metres away, stalking me......jumped in cockpit and slammed door shut! felt kinda faint after that. nothing like knowing youre not at the top of the food chain anymore, to put things into perspective for you! ride came along few minutes later.

different day, ride to lodge delayed, so jump on roof of a/c , shirt off just soaking up the sun. Look down to see huge male lion strolling over apron, walks right underneath right hand wing, over apron, crosses rwy and saunteres off into the bush. Man did I nearly cr*p my pants that day!:eek:
 
Some of these are pretty good. I have certainly had my share of Oh sh*t! moments. Try to keep them to a minimum these days. One of the more memorable was the time that I forgot about a highline wire that happened to run across the field that I was spraying. Never saw the wire until I was in it. One wire took a chunk out of the prop and then removed the leading edge from a five foot section of the wing down to the spar. The other wire hit the airplane about eye level on the wire cutter. This wire was stubborn and broke the wire deflector and then proceeded to remove most of the verticle stabilizer and almost all of the rudder. In the blink of an eye my cessna was severely modified. There was no convenient place to land, so I was determined to get the airplane back 30 miles to the airport. Luckily there was not much wind so the landing was pretty uneventful. Never really was scared until I got out and took a look at all the damage. Made me a little wire shy for some time. Had the airplane back in the air with a complete new verticle and rudder in 2 days.

There have been numerous other broken cylinders, busted oil pans, electrical fires, lost mags, and even a broken throttle cable or two. Those all just kind of become part of the job. What really is scary to me are the almost incidents the occur because of pilot error or misjudgement.
 
Here's a real "oh s__t!" moment: this was my first flight from DFW to DEN. The temperature in Colorado was 3-degrees celsius and supposed to go lower. My F/O had not brought a jacket that day since it was warn and sunny in Dallas, and I ribbed him about it a little. Then, in my "welcome aboard" P/A, I told the passengers I hope they'd all brought sweaters for our arrival in Denver.

Then, sixty seconds into the pushback, guess which of my belongings I realized was still draped over the back of a chair in the crew lounge.

Isn't it funny the ideas you'll come up with in a moment of desperation? "Maybe we can just stop the push long enough for me to run inside and grab it..." Uh huh. Right. :rolleyes:

Like we said in the Army, "suck it up...."
 
Well I feel like I have to answer to your guys' question about my aw....sh*t moment.

When youare doing about 90 knots in a lear 24, you're right at Vmc and it is a lot easier to get the plane in the air again then to get it stoppen without seeing the runway. It was not so much that we noticed the downdraft, we just hit bad rain and couldn't see anymore, at Homebase there is a artificial pond on the left and buildings after a small taxiway on the right.

We might have not made a very smart decision looking back at it, but in that split second we did IT. Being a little above Vmmu we could have accelerated enough to get the plane of the ground and then climb out of it, instead of taking our chances and hoping that we go straight, I've bounced off a taxiway since the accident, and I am glad we did the right thing that day.

It's one of those things, if we would have gone off the runway with 90 knots we would have been in a lot more trouble without power then make a tailstrike and get the plane wobbling int othe air.

Avbug, you have experience in the older lears, you know the deceleration of them is virtually nonexisten with 2 engines in idle.

not too brag, maybe someday somebody will delay a flight because of Weather and then i'll be proud.

M
 

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