V2 to MSA or Accelerate to VFS????

[LegacyDriver]

Just talked to Team Cessna."Hold V2 until 1500 feet minimum or *obstacle* clearance (whichever is higher) but *not* to MSA."Getting a call tomorrow from them to reaffirm this position.

 

[avbug]

I was created in a science lab for the soul purpose of annoying as many people as possible on the internet.

That explains a lot. Junk science.

It's sole purpose, by the way, brightspark.

 

[LegacyDriver]

That explains a lot. Junk science.

It's sole purpose, by the way, brightspark.

Yes, I shoulda' caught that error being the bloodthirsty editor I am. Sadly when I am on my bberry I type funetiklee at times and rarely re-read my work. It takes forever for this thing to load. Thus if I am typoing and spelling stuff wrong it is because I am on a BBerry and not a PC.

That being said....

They tried to make me as big an a*****e as you are but the team broke the test tube creating you. They put it back together with super glue and that somehow diluted the d-bag factor when they used it to make me. An unexpected positive side effect was I can fly way better than you can, spanky.

You're such a toolkit you could be a spokesman for Craftsman. I'd say Snap-On but they can actually get hot chicks. From what I hear...you kinda' lack in that department.

Boom.

 

[avbug]

Just when I began to worry that you might actually be older than 14, you come up with proof to the contrary. Right on cue.

 

[LegacyDriver]

And I care what you think avbug because....??????You are one of the biggest internet trolls of all time. You should go see if General Lee needs help wreaking havoc around the Regionals and Majors forums.

 

[avbug]

And I care what you think avbug because....??????

I have no idea. That you continue to dig yourself into a deeper hole by responding is enough, I suppose.

With your expertise that's spouted from various orifices onto the computer screen over the past couple of years, one would guess that you have some element of experinece. Never the less, you're just getting around to getting an ATP...you're a baby, and talk like one, to boot. Little wonder, then, that you find a citation to be a challenge. The slowest, most simple non-piston airplane known to man, short of a hang glider, and you find it a challenge. We can't be expected to show surprise that you have trouble differentiating between terminal procedures and certification regulations, when you're sweating over a SIC checkride in a Citation.

Some recent gems from LegacyDriver...

Nice try. I'm doing an ATP from the right seat.

This, only a few days ago. Just getting to your ATP now? You sound off as though you're experienced...and all this time you've been what? A copilot in the mighty beginner-jet, the legacy? Not even a PIC?

Yeah but if ya get violated cuz u can't find the right switches in a maze of switches, buttons, and dials u won't be flying long. Yikes!This plane needs a flight engineer.

This, for a a SIC checkride in a Citation, where even the circuit breakers are color coded to keep one from making a mistake. The mattel jet confuses you. Amazing...for anyone else. For you? On par.

I got upgraded on CAL just because the agent saw my crew tag on my laptop.

Enjoy yourself. It may be the closest you come to an upgrade anytime soon. This won't hurt, of course, as you'll go right on calling your captain a "copilot."

I helped deliver the first 30 Legacys (Legacies?) that came out.

You did that as a copilot, didn't you?

Fuq me all ya' want.

More intellectual banter. You're a junior rocket scientist, aren't you?

Me? Stupid idiot redneck nobody pilot....I was hamburger after 3 : 20 in the box, having *NEVER* flown a jet before. It was brutal.

This, being commentary you made in July. You lasted three minutes in a simulator before breaking down, you say. Never the less, in the same post, you go on to say that you were pared with far more experienced pilots, in order to keep them on the straight and narrow. If you can't keep yourself straight in a single post, it's no wonder you're all over the map in any given thread, and that most posters spend their time making fun of you, rather than having a conversation with you.

Yep. Newhire F/Os like me, CRJ, and Rum were paired with those guys so they wouldn't kill themselves.

I'm telling you, those guys wouldn't have made it as a 121 F/O. Can't even pass a 91 ride without a *LOT* of help???????????????????????

Please.

Laugh at me all you want. When you catch fire I will talk you through the whole damned thing with a calm voice and I will be nine miles ahead of you *AND* the plane.

Sure enough, from that same thread, we can be absolutely sure you're the greatest thing in aviation since sliced bread, because you're there to tell us so. You're the voice of reason in an an emergency, talking your captain "copilots" through procedures, because you can't last three minutes in a simulator...and both confessions in the same post. Do you try to bury yourself like this, or does it come naturally?

Most of these people don't realize you are teasing me... They really think I can't fly. Now I know why I am not getting jobs.

I'm not sure you really do know. More's the pity.

Demanding pax? Are you f'ing kidding me? Sorry dude, RJ drivers deal with far far far more demanding pax than anyone I've ever seen in either Corporate OR Charter.

I'm sure you learned some very valuable customer service skills as a regional copilot in the ERJ. Skills like how to close the cockpit door, and pour coffee for your captain (the one you call a "copilot"). You've never really dealt with a demanding passenger, have you? Did you just say "dude?" You're really 14 years old then, aren't you?

Whereas about a third of the pure 91 pilots out there couldn't find the fire handle with both hands and a pointer. (Dual engine flameouts, golfballing airplanes after flying under anvils, driving off of taxiways into the grass, missing hold short instructions, not knowing how to de-ice, brain locking on depresses, inability to handle V1 Engine Fires--in the sim--etc. were *ALL* Part 91 guys. I never saw a single 121 pilot flub that up.)

I notice that you threw "in the sim" there. The crucible of your fiery experience. A true wonder, then, that you couldn't save those disasterous pilots from themselves (just how does an airplane get "golf-balled" in a simulator?). Aren't you the one who gets put with experienced pilots to save them? To save us all? Best of the best, and all that? A real work and a wonder? How could anything possibly go wrong when you're near? After all, you're a highly inexperienced copilot who is just reaching that staggering point in one's career when he can go for the ATP. In other words, you're just reaching that magical milestone when you're nearly qualified to open the door to the airplane. Or make the coffee.

Flying between any two points demands two things: SAFETY and STANDARDIZATION. Outside of that I don't care if it is Memphis to Nashville or New York to Kuwait City a 121 crew is at a base-level safer and more highly trained.

Wow...what staggering counsel. Have you ever been to Kuwait? You really, honestly have no idea what it is that you're saying, do you?

27? Sheee-it, dude. You got a lot to learn.

This, coming from the voice of experience? Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. You have no experience. You're a kid, yourself (or an adult who speaks with the authority of a 14 year old. Either way, no matter).

Not good to speak ill of the dead but... You had a Captain with a history of failed checkrides that he managed to get by on. The thing that kept him from killing someone sooner was probably the standardization he had in the 121 and good F/Os.

F/O's like you?

How does one "get by on failed checkrides?" Do you think before you type?

"For Love of the Game" is such a great movie.

But he keeps the hot chick at the end.

I lost mine.

And the next one...

And the next one....

And the one after her.....

Shocking. Truly shocking.

My 121 F/O ride was brutal but I thought that was just because it was the first one. For my first 121 F/O Recurrent (more years ago than I care to remember) I went in "prepared" like I thought and nearly failed it.

We know. You've made it abundantly clear. You're deathly afraid of checkrides and the simulator, where you routinely do badly, even though you repeatedly assert that you're there to save experienced captain "copilots" from themselves because after all...you can do it right from both seats. Right?

 

[avbug]

There's more...

Though quite frankly, this "never slip a jet" thing is almost certainly less than entirely accurate. I'm sure there are plenty of jets that would not care if someone did that to them. I mean, let's face it, what would happen if you slipped a straight-wing Citation or Westwind? Probably not a darned thing. The EMB and Soverign don't have a lot of sweep to them. I doubt either would even notice if you slipped 'em a 1000 times.

*shrug*

Just keep on digging that hole. The nice thing about reading vintage LegacyDriver is that he digs his own hole, jumps in with both feet, and then buries himself without any sense of embarrassment. Not only do you save the day for your incompetent captain "copilots," but you're the guy that slips turbojet airplanes. *shrug*

Shee-it grasshopper........when I got hired as a Legacy CA I was making $53K a year and thought I was a god.

You still think you're a god. You're still wrong, too. When you were hired as a captain? A captain that can't last three minutes in a simulator, land in a crosswind. Of course, we know that you tend to use "captain" and "copilot" interchangably. Do you use "god" interchangably with captain and copilot, too?

Simply because you think you're god, doesn't make it so. You understand this, don't you?

If I had gone to the sandbox when I had the chance I'd be a millionaire by now (on an EMB *not* a Falcon, btw).

One thing we do not need in that part of the world is someone who thinks he's a god.

Only problem now is I'm at the point of no return. I can't do anything else (other than f*ck up another marriage, but that's a WHOLE OTHER ISSUE).

At least you have a business on which to fall back, next time you don't make it through a harrowing simulator session. You're probably better off wrecking marriages than wrecking airplanes. You'll take fewer people down with you.

Depends on the jet, jackazz. For Falcons I agree with you. However, dipping a wing if you can is an advantage. Nothing like rolling down a runway in a jet on one main gear like a B-17 at an airshow. BOOYAH!

More smart-talk. At least you think so, as as you're a self-appointed god, then that's good enough, for you. Too bad you never learned to fly properly; it shows.

Have you ever been in a B-17?

I slipped an EMB once when I didn't know any better (I was a total noob). Airplane didn't seem to mind but the Captain was sure to politely inform me that you don't fly a jet that way.

Did you politely inform him that you're a god?

I obviously don't pay attention any more since I will be working at Wal-Mart for the forseeable future any way...

Obviously.

Don't feel bad. People on this board have been trying to wreck my career for ten years...

They shouldn't bother as I'm perfectly capable of destroying my life on my own WITHOUT help. Just make some popcorn and watch.

Makes you wonder why people would spend ten years trying to wreck your career. That's a little like spending ten years trying to step on a paper airplane.

Yes, you're doing an excellent job of burying yourself without any help. Remember that you issued the invitation to come watch.

I'm almost ready to apply at Colgan myself.

Don't get too ambitious. You've got to be able to last four minutes in their simulator.

That's enough for now. You likely need some breathing time to go for that four minute simulator record for your ATP ride, lest you revert to hamburger while playing god for your copilot, when you're not busy wrecking marriages and working at walmart. Good luck. You'll need it.

 

[LJ45]

ouch

 

[LegacyDriver]

As usual, Avthug pulls sh*t out of his a**, twists it, shakes it, and spews garbage.I've had an ATP for over a decade and I'm flying the second fasted Cessna ever not the slowest, dipwad.Any way....Don't confuse outspoken with incompetent. While you are clearly both, some of us at least know how to read and respond in context.Youre just a troll and parlaying with you is a waste of energy. Nobody cares what you think. Based on my inbox my rep is more solid than yours. Scary isn't it?Physician heal thyself. I'm done talking with you. You're not worth my time.

 

[avbug]

Ouch, indeed. But wait, there's more...

I may never get a job in anything bigger than a Cessna 421....

We can only feel sorry for the 15 people you manage to shoe-horn into that 421, then.

I have about six leads on Legacy gigs. If I get one of those I'm in. Otherwise it is either 152s or Home Depot.

It's not as clearcut a decision as it seems, because heaven only knows the damage you might wreak at home depot with bad advice and inexperience. If you do go to work at home depot, you can call yourself an architect, or carpenter, or mason, or any number of other titles you choose to assume, even though you're really a bag boy. Much like referring to your captain as a "copilot," and referring to yourself as a captain.

AMEN! Praise the Lord! I will go where He sends me, even if it is to prison.

How about the rubber room?

I used to think that of my ex-wife because she had a v8gina.... Hmmm.

This was said in response to a poster who said: "If you have a gun, you can rob a bank. If you have a bank, you can rob everyone!" Logic was never your first choice, was it? What is it you'd have said if you didn't hold a college degree, again?

I swear to G** I applied to Home-Depot to work at the store... That's what we're reduced to.

You're really big on the whole home-depot thing. Perhaps a few months in the plumbing section will do you some good. Just don't try to convince anyone that you know what you're talking about, and hopefully nobody will get hurt.

If I can afford the occasional steak and have the kids around that's enough. Of course, $9 an hour won't provide that, but there are always banks to rob I guess.

And now, apparently with the bank robbery, you've come full circle, back to your wife's "v8gina," again. Whatever that means.

Thanks. I would but I'm done with flying as a career. Only for fun now.

Ah, seems like it was only yesterday (May, 2009, actually), that you avowed you were done flying, and the world became a safer place. Sadly, you were never a man of your word.

Sorry. I'm an emotional guy in case you can't tell.

Oh, I can tell. You're a poet, if anything at all.

Just not much of a pilot, it would seem.

I didn't get stuck with a hook, I just ate the bait and burped.

Seems to be an ongoing habit of yours, doesn't it?

I missed my daughter's dental appointment five times in a row I kid you not

And sadly you still suffer from post traumatic stress disorder, as a result. Tragic.

That's the beauty of a twin--your decision is already made for you. Having that third engine can complicate things if you act thinking you've only lost one engine, rotate, and try to fly the V1 Engine Failure Profile without realizing you've really lost two engines...

Most individuals who are flying a multi-engine airplane, be it two engines, three, or four, are smart enough to know when they've experienced an engine failure. Even two engine failures. Clear you, not so much. Why?

This is one that I have always thought would be the ultimate "Oh Shiite!" moment but maybe I haven't considered it enough.

- Max Weight Takeoff Slats + 20 with a Balanced Field
- Airplane hits a flock of geese at V1 and blows two engines out (you pick 'em as it doesn't matter to me)

From what I am repeatedly told there is absolutely no way the airplane will take you any further than the crash site under these conditions.

Is this true? If it isn't true what do you do?

Again, much like the question at the outset of the thread...if you have to ask, perhaps you shouldn't be entrusted with a balsa glider, let alone an airplane that someone can actually sit in.

That explains my upcoming, "Am I a Crossdresser?" post.

The truth finally starts to come out. Stop hiding in the closet.

I didn't have any sort of mental episode whatsoever. I did, however, very seriously contemplate quitting flying altogether.

You've no idea how grateful we can all be to you, for clearing that up.

I'm mouthy--I engage my mouth before my brain somtimes (and I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve).

Indeed

I'm not perfect. I'm a damned good and safe pilot but a highly flawed human being.

The first step is admitting it, isn't it? You were only a damned good pilot, but as we've seen, later went on to declare yourself a god. How can you be god if you're a highly flawed human being.

When yer five-year old daughter watches you get your eyes clawed out because someone downsized you out of a job I'd be amazed if you are half as composed as I was when I had my little meltdown.

Ouch. Eyes clawed out. You're a god, though. You can re-grow them.

Your meltdown doesn't sound very godlike, even for a highly flawed human being.

I thought the same thing until I went to my ex-wife and asked her to cooperate for the sake of our (*hers also she keeps forgetting*) kids and she belted me in the mouth.

Cut her some slack. She was only doing what we'd all like to do.

About me being a giant pansy. Something like that.

You like flowers, or you have a weight problem? Ah, yes. You wear your heart on your sleeve. Now I remember.

Perhaps it is time to retire from message boards. Being a national joke is a cross I am able to bear, but not one I deserve IMHO.

You see yourself as a national joke? If you don't deserve it, who does? In your humble opinion, you say? Didn't you tell us that you're god? Not very humble, really (unless you're actually God, of course). A cross you're able to bear? You nailed yourself to that cross. You feed off the humiliation. A cross to bear? I think not. It's what drives you. You love being a martyr, and take every chance to be one. Like now, for instance.

I felt the need to post this. If it kills my career then I'm at peace with that.

No such luck, unfortunately. You're back.

Besides, everyone thinks I'm a nut. At least now they know why.

Not at all. It's always been obvious.

Long story short my ex-wife beat the living hell out of me in front of my kids... My gf decided to dump me because she thought being linked with me would make her look bad (GO FIGURE, RIGHT GUYS? HAHAHAHAH! *ahem*) even after spending the night with me the night before she bus threw me (or just pretended not to like me any more--that was kinda' weird)

Let's not forget your subsequent confession that your girlfriend is also a cocaine addict. What a charmed life you lead. When a cocaine addict turns you aside because you make her look bad, it's time to stare down that mirror and see just what's wrong.

I've got way thicker skin than any of these rabble rousers can pierce, regardless. *shrug*

We shall see. *shrug*

Well I just got off phone with ----. He said to my banishment query:

"You're not banned--youre *worse* than banned. You can't even login to see you're banned!"

You're actually the only person to ever be banned there, which is quite an accomplishment.

I quit message boards entirely until Rum dragged me into this conversation (the impending death of which I am eagerly anticipating so I can return to self-imposed exile--all these boards do for me is generate stomach acid).

Are you keeping rolaid in business, reliving your own words?

So used to being the one getting bashed that I made a false assumption here perhaps.

Surprise, surprise.

How do you "use them properly" any way? They are brakes. You press on them and they are supposed to stop the plane. It ain't frigging "rocket surgery." Duuhhhhhh.

It's nice to be able to go back a little bit and dig up these technical gems. It's a wonder you fly at all when you could be writing tech manuals. Such wordiness, though. Truly, you're a complex person.

Until this thread came up I stayed out of the line of fire because it always ends up the same way: assaults on my character, skills, and intelligence.

Ever wonder why it always turns out the same, for you? Every wonder why you have the need to keep talking about retiring from the internet, or that the world has spent ten years concentrating on destroying your career? Or why people take pleasure in socking you in the mouth? Do you ever look in the mirror? Answers await you.

Dude, I grew up in South Texas. I didn't land into the wind until I went to the Regionals. Any time, any day, you want to meet for a X-Wind landing competition I'm game. Loser pays a year's salary.

Unless it's in a Falcon, right?

You'll do fine in the Legacy, though. After all, it's your favorite light twin.

Apparently I've won the argument because all you can do to discredit me is cast personal aspersions and innuendo.

And quote you, of course.

Narrow cabin????? You think the Legacy cabin is NARROW???

Painfully so. Yes. Not bad for a light twin, of course, but it's still narrow.

Now I'm gonna' go get my popcorn.

How's it taste so far? Probably just a little bitter.