Stupid Flight Crew tricks

[hoover]

So I get a call from one of my flights doing an empty repo flight: "We have been waiting an hour for a fuel truck. Can you call ops or the fueler and try to get something done?" AN HOUR?! WTF?!

You'd think it would occur to the crew to call after about 10 or 15 minutes.

Anyway, what is your stupid flight crew tricks story?

 

[Midnight Mike]

At a past airline, certain flight had no catering & in return, the pilots would receive money in lieu of the lack of catering. Well, some of the pilots would cancel the catering, so that they could pick up the extra money. Found this out, when the cater called me on a late shift asking if we could give them more notice for cancelled orders......

Another pilot lived in LAX & hated to commute to the east coast, so, he would bid for a trip that had a 4 day LAX layover, & call in sick for the first day of his trip, so that he would not have to commute, & get better a couple of hours after the trip left JFK.

 

[Atlanta Vicks]

We get the occasional pilot call in sick for the first turn of his 4 day so that he/she can commute in, sick calls before/after vacation. Basically the norm. What really pisses me off though is when we assign reserve trips for the next day, the reserves call in sick after we give them a courtesey call. So you're next course of action is to not give them courtesey calls, but to call them with the assignment when they duty on for reserve? Nope, because they can see the trips you put on their schedule in Flica and then call in sick. But 99% of the time our crews are real good to work with.

 

[Metro752]

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[arthompson]

I love the crew members that swap for a trip and then call in sick for it. I'm especially thrilled at all the ones that think that they have a god given right to be off on the holidays while the rest of us are working.

 

[Homer Jay]

I especially like the crew schedulers that don't understand that being away from you family every holiday for the last six years is tough on you and them and the only way to get ONE is to call in for it. Have some compassion.

 

[arthompson]

You're not the only one that would love to be home with your family for the holidays.

 

[Homer Jay]

Don't you get to come home every night? And you are telling me that you haven't been home for any Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Years in 6 years? Didn't think so. I know there are crewmembers that abuse their sick time, but most call in when they need a break. Airlines seem to abuse crewmembers to the point where we have NO loyalty to the company. It comes down to taking care of your own, cause God knows the company won't take care of us. There is a reason why we are bailing out of the airline industry and going to places like NetJets. Read the thread in the Fractionals section about transitioning from the airlines to NetJets. It sums it all up...

 

[Bill Mostellar]

So I get a call from one of my flights doing an empty repo flight: "We have been waiting an hour for a fuel truck. Can you call ops or the fueler and try to get something done?" AN HOUR?! WTF?!

You'd think it would occur to the crew to call after about 10 or 15 minutes.

Anyway, what is your stupid flight crew tricks story?

The crew in your situation might have already made calls to the fueler, local ops, etc. and is just now trying to get the company involved (your summary doesn't go into that).

When this happened to me, we did make the locals calls starting about 10 minutes after the truck was supposed to arrive. The Captain finally called Dispatch for assistance after an hour of local attempts.

It turns out the authorization number given to the fuel company was incorrect.

You weren't my Dispatcher, were you?

I wish you success!

 

[rvsm410]

I would give anything!!!!

You know, I understand the problems you all write of..I only have one real question, as intelligent people, didn't you read the job description that comes with "all" airline work? When you were plodding along for hundreds of hours with all those students waiting for you're big chance at the airlines, to flying jets and all that good stuff...didn't any of you ask a current airline pilot and learn what it was going to be like (QOL) before you ever applied and begged, hung out in the "hiring pool" for months to get hired..

I just don't understand why you complain of the working conditions when you should have know long before what they were going to be like! That goes for the Pay and upgrades, all of it. It's not a mystery.

It would be like a doctor complaining about the hours, and working with blood and guts..

I don't know, I was never confused about the long hours and shift work I would be performing, the holidays I would be working away from my family..I knew they were coming...I would not dream of calling in to be away from the very job I worked so hard to earn...

I was just really happy to be doing something I "Loved" to do...all this other stuff was just part of it...aviation is NOT a normal job...its much better than the walking dead of the corporate 9 to 5 that hate there jobs every single day....seems you all are turning your passions into a "JOB"... JMHO...

I would do anything to return to work for Airtran...It was my ultimate dream, it only lasted a short time before medical conditions took it away from me forever....My hope for you all, is that you realize you have arrived at your goal, make the best of it and enjoy it eveyday, respect yourself for the accomplishment by honoring the work with the best performance you can give it...I would do anything for another chance.... Remember it can be snatched away from you anytime, any given day...

Good luck and look inside and ask you're self if you are doing your best, and remember how you got there...Be happy

 

[Homer Jay]

That's exactly the point! Airline management took my passion and turned it into nothing more than a job. I love to fly, I don't love being treated like a piece of cr@p. And I am a happy person, just unhappy with my pay, qol, and schedule going down the drain.

 

[405]

.......

 

[canyonblue737]

I love the crew members that swap for a trip and then call in sick for it. I'm especially thrilled at all the ones that think that they have a god given right to be off on the holidays while the rest of us are working.

there is abuse no doubt but this new years i was dying sick, 103.5 fever for days and couldn't get out of bed. i *had* to call is sick and frankly was "sick" over having to do it. sometimes stuff happens.

 

[405]

.......

 

[rvsm410]

NOthing is stopping you..

Well, I hate dispatching. It's a thankless job where I work. Our computers suck and we have to type every crew name on every release by hand. Almost every way we do business is absolutely absurd.

I understand what you say, I have been in either from visits, interviews, or work in most dispatch offices, know many many dispatchers from most of them, your not alone... BUt nothing is keeping you there, the pay is certainly replaceable, the hours are instantly improved over airline schedules..leave..to be excellent at anything you have to love it.....

Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work..I say you have to go out of your way to make other notice you by work excellence above and beyond the normal...JMHO and not aimed at anyone in peticular, just in general...


I happen to have always thought that the pay for dispatchers, was really terrible for the resonsibility the FAA and our respective airlines demand of us...but so are the pays for cops and fireman too...I knew it when I went into the business, turned down many offers over the years and nicely let them know I could and would not perform my craft for the pay offered...it did not halp me, but it was my own way to maybe help the dispatchers of the future..

Good luck to you dispatchers, and keep them safe, make yourself know to your crews and should your value to them every day..

 

[DX Jake]

"...Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work."

actually, that's the reason I love my job... no one knows about it. It's the best kept secret, and I'd like to keep it that way. And my pay... I don't deserve this much for what I do, I worked 5 times as hard on the ramp.

 

[Gorilla]

I called in sick two days ago. I'm still on the sick list. I flew Thanksgiving, Xmas eve, Xmas day, the 26th of Dec, Dec 30 and 31. Made it through 3 months of holiday flying.

When I called the crew scheduler, I politely introduced myself, and started to say "I'm on a prescription which prohibits flying..." At that point, I was rudely cut off with "SO... WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS YOU'RE CALLING IN SICK? OK BYE" <click> Totally rude tone and attitude.

The FAR's are explicit. The typical person gets 2 to 4 common head colds a year which last about a week. I will NOT fly with a cold; it hurts me badly due to pressurization, and it is totally unfair to the other guy stuck 1 foot away from me for 3 days. There are a LARGE number of sicknesses which you guys can show up for work with, which we cannot. Think of medications - about the only thing we can take is aspirin and sudafed, everything else is pretty much forbidden by name. Taking a narcotic painkiller for a bad back? No fly. An antihistamine? No fly. Depression? BIG TIME no fly, etc etc.

This is a sore spot for me and most other crew. Frankly I am amazed at how healthy pilots are. I understand how minimum manning causes crew sched big time grief... take that up with management.

 

[rvsm410]

You are in Rare territory Jake

I am real happy for your financial success in the dispatch field...owever for the Vast Majority of dispatchers in the regional ranks, its tough to make ends meet, most pay averaging well below the $20 an hour mark with a long way to get there..

It was always strange to me that working for supplemental carriers flying boxes around paid much better than do the Pax...even before todays industry crisis.

Getting hired by the new age Major carriers like SWA, JB, Airtran, Spirit and World, to name a few will prove to be impossible for most and it is there where the possibility of making a really good living exists within 5 years of DOH...at the larger regionals like Skywest, and former ASA it would take a dispatcher 10 + years to get up to the $50k mark (without working OT)...

So I am glad for you, you have your cake and seem to be eating it too! ::beer:

 

[El Ocho]

OK... What I don't get is why the dispatchers take all this stuff personal?

If I call in sick it is not to spite my dispatcher!

If I have a miserable schedule that gives me no allowance to take a personal day off, or makes no attempt to have commutable lines, so I have to call in sick occasionally, it is not to spite my dispatcher!

Just do your job, the best you can, and don't take it all so personal!

AND, why can't we work together rather than at odds? If I call and ask for something, it is not because I want to make more work for you. I probably just need it!

I'm not against you, please don't be against me.

Believe me, any stupid flight crew tricks are not intended to harm you, only to get a little occasional breathing room!

Just let it be! Don't fight it, because it is not ment to spite you!

 

[rvsm410]

El Ocho,

I never took a flight crews call in personal as a dispatcher, frankly, it usualy something we would not even know about...when a release is worked out, a crew shows up on the program which was populated by the screw sched department...the only thing of interest to a dispatcher on a normal daliy basis would be if the CPT is low mins....

As for working with my crews, I can only speak for the way I did it, I never ever argued with my crews, when they needed something, I took it personally to understand the request and evaluate the situation, if I could not approve or agree with a crew, I would always have an alternative solution allon with a reason for not agreeing with the original reguest...

My job as a dispatcher is to be your eyes on the ground and a backup and oversight system to the flight you are about to embark...my job IS to make the flight safe and provide you the crew the relief of doing much of the preflight planning...

If you are having trouble with your dispatchers, eval the reasons why, are they young, is there a corporate culture that allows poor communications ec...I would suggest paying the dispatch office a visit, meet the dispatchers, talk with the CP and DX mgr, maybe start a process improvment program yourself...some one has too..good luck..

 

[DX Rick]

That's exactly the point! Airline management took my passion and turned it into nothing more than a job. I love to fly, I don't love being treated like a piece of cr@p. And I am a happy person, just unhappy with my pay, qol, and schedule going down the drain.

It's always been a job. Do some research. I remember as a child in the late 70's and early 80's my dad being called out on Xmas day, Thanksgiving day to go fly a trip as a very senior captain. Year after year, holidays were spent over the phone while he was in a hotel room. It comes with the job. You want bankers hours, work at a bank.

Going back to nice little stunts crews have pulled I have to go with:

FO's swapping trips at an out station only to get an ACARS while in flight "Joe Shmoe and Mike Noone have swapped trips" .....just so they can fly with thier favorite FO's. Didn't take it personally, but the CP wasn't too happy.

Not my flight, but anothers. Crew enroute to MDW from DSM is in touch with DX via acars about some thunderstorms over CID. DX informs them they are clear south of CID of any TS. Crews sees something different on the wet Saab radar. Center made them aware that they were clear of any TS south of CID. Get an ACARS message, returning back to DSM due to wx. the dispatcher tried his best to "paint" the image for them. When in DSM the captain calls and says her 300 hours FO wasn't comfortable going around the wx. crew timed out in DSM, flight was cxld.

Not a stupid crew move, but a rookie-stupid dispatcher move. Spring of 2004, flight is flying GRR - MDW over Lake Michigan. I look on the radar and see that one of our planes is at 3,000ft. Not my flight, but curious I send them an acars since the captain is a friend of mine. They reply that they are at 3,000, in heavy rain, turbulence and very turbulent. I asked her what she was thinking when filing the flight. her responce was " I thought they could just fly under all the clouds and it would be smooth".

 

[405]

... BUt nothing is keeping you there, the pay is certainly replaceable, the hours are instantly improved over airline schedules..leave..to be excellent at anything you have to love it.....

Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work..I say you have to go out of your way to make other notice you by work excellence above and beyond the normal...JMHO and not aimed at anyone in peticular, just in general...

I happen to have always thought that the pay for dispatchers, was really terrible for the resonsibility the FAA and our respective airlines demand of us...but so are the pays for cops and fireman too...I knew it when I went into the business, turned down many offers over the years and nicely let them know I could and would not perform my craft for the pay offered...it did not halp me, but it was my own way to maybe help the dispatchers of the future..

Good luck to you dispatchers, and keep them safe, make yourself know to your crews and should your value to them every day..

'Frustrated' would be applicable to my position rather than 'hate'.

The bolded part is similar to what our management has said before: "The post office is hiring. If you don't like it, leave." That's not management. That's being defensive and not wanting or trying to make our work enviroment a better place to be employed.

 

[Gorilla]

It's my understanding we (dispatchers) have the same rules regarding medications...as least we do here at QX...unless you are talking about crew schedulers.

When we work while we are ill, all our coworkers become ill too (if it's contageous) !

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

 

[propsarebest]

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

At EVERY airline I have worked at, there has always been a bitchy crew scheduler, and the reason why is because they are on a power trip. The mojority of the bitchy ones are frustrated pilots who never got all their ratings and what not, so they are acting out against someone who is living their dream.

Just an observation

 

[El Ocho]

El Ocho,

If you are having trouble with your dispatchers, eval the reasons why, are they young, is there a corporate culture that allows poor communications ec...I would suggest paying the dispatch office a visit, meet the dispatchers, talk with the CP and DX mgr, maybe start a process improvment program yourself...some one has too..good luck..

I appreciate the advice, but fortunately, I don't have trouble with my dispatchers! Mostly because I don't take any of this personal. It's just a job, and I check you, you check me, together we dispatch a safe and legal flight. No big deal! No reason to get upset... No games from me because I'm not trying to "pull" anything.

And, I have been in to dispatch, and I do understand that often they are new or young or otherwise inexperienced... and frequently overworked too. Knowing about the other side certainly does help in the "not taking it personal" aspect.

Unfortunately, this is all a bit of wasted breath, because I realize in rereading my original post, I ment to say "crew trackers" where I said "Dispatchers"! Sorry about that!

 

[ilikecheese]

I like the ones who find nothing wrong with 23 hour 22 minute days and make me call Andrews AFB four times "just to make sure" we can't land there. :angryfire

 

[XShipRider]

Fa

So I get a call from one of my flights doing an empty repo flight: "We have been waiting an hour for a fuel truck. Can you call ops or the fueler and try to get something done?" AN HOUR?! WTF?!

You'd think it would occur to the crew to call after about 10 or 15 minutes.

Anyway, what is your stupid flight crew tricks story?

Here's a classic FA story. A CLE based FO FA in FLL called in SIQ. She
even went so far as to get a doctor's note due to ear inflammation and
"bulging." OK, so we put her up in a local hotel. The conversation from
there appears below (as close as I can remember, it's been awhile).

("We" below refers to the dispatchers and me)
"No, I want to go home," she says.
"Uhhhhh, but we thought you couldn't fly because it would be too painful,"
we say.
"That's okay, I'll endure the pain," she says.
"We can't get a direct flight today, they're all sold out," we say.
"I need a direct flight to minimize the pain," she says.
"There aren't any," we say.
"B$%$^t! I NEED A DIRECT FLIGHT TODAY!," she screams.
"There is one tomorrow afternoon, that's the best we can do."
"You guys are doing this on purpose," she says. "Why can't you guys
just bring the plane back to CLE?" she asks.
(Thought process... yeah, a $20-30K flight for a sick FA)

At this point she proceeds to call FO's FA manager who calls dispatch who
puts the call through to me. I explain the situation to her which she fully
understands. She tells me she'll take care of it. The FA flew back the
next day afternoon.
The FA actually thought we were going to bring a plane back to CLE from
FLL to swap FAs (not that it wasn't done for some pretty lame reasons
from time to time but that's another story).

 

[Cokie907]

I think this is a lousy thread. Why don't we start one titled "stupid dispatcher and stupid screw scheduler stories"? The answer is because it is tasteless not to mention boring since it would be the same screw-ups over and over again.

A better choice of thread might be: "Funny dispatch/crew scheduling stories"

Call me crazy but its the first thing that popped into my head when I started reading this insulting, divisive thread.

 

[30West]

How about this one:

I was flying a flight from IAD to PIT, with CMH listed as an alternate. Only one problem. The reason PIT required an alternate was due to a solid line of level 4-6 thunderstorms approaching PIT FROM THE WEST! Had the line beat me to PIT I would have had to fly THROUGH it to get to CMH. Needless to say, the release did not get signed until a new alternate was listed.

Sometime later, I was flying to Albany with an alternate of Burlington Vt. Upon inspection of the release, I discovered that although the weather was good at BTV, one runway was closed and the other was reported as having poor braking action. Definition of Suitable Runway?

Not slamming any particular group. I have worn both hats and both groups are not immune to head up and locked.

 

[pgcfii2002]

Pilots who call in 10 minutes prior to departure time and inform us they have food poisoning and cannot fly.

NICE!!