Stupid Flight Crew tricks

[DX Rick]

That's exactly the point! Airline management took my passion and turned it into nothing more than a job. I love to fly, I don't love being treated like a piece of cr@p. And I am a happy person, just unhappy with my pay, qol, and schedule going down the drain.

It's always been a job. Do some research. I remember as a child in the late 70's and early 80's my dad being called out on Xmas day, Thanksgiving day to go fly a trip as a very senior captain. Year after year, holidays were spent over the phone while he was in a hotel room. It comes with the job. You want bankers hours, work at a bank.

Going back to nice little stunts crews have pulled I have to go with:

FO's swapping trips at an out station only to get an ACARS while in flight "Joe Shmoe and Mike Noone have swapped trips" .....just so they can fly with thier favorite FO's. Didn't take it personally, but the CP wasn't too happy.

Not my flight, but anothers. Crew enroute to MDW from DSM is in touch with DX via acars about some thunderstorms over CID. DX informs them they are clear south of CID of any TS. Crews sees something different on the wet Saab radar. Center made them aware that they were clear of any TS south of CID. Get an ACARS message, returning back to DSM due to wx. the dispatcher tried his best to "paint" the image for them. When in DSM the captain calls and says her 300 hours FO wasn't comfortable going around the wx. crew timed out in DSM, flight was cxld.

Not a stupid crew move, but a rookie-stupid dispatcher move. Spring of 2004, flight is flying GRR - MDW over Lake Michigan. I look on the radar and see that one of our planes is at 3,000ft. Not my flight, but curious I send them an acars since the captain is a friend of mine. They reply that they are at 3,000, in heavy rain, turbulence and very turbulent. I asked her what she was thinking when filing the flight. her responce was " I thought they could just fly under all the clouds and it would be smooth".

 

[405]

... BUt nothing is keeping you there, the pay is certainly replaceable, the hours are instantly improved over airline schedules..leave..to be excellent at anything you have to love it.....

Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work..I say you have to go out of your way to make other notice you by work excellence above and beyond the normal...JMHO and not aimed at anyone in peticular, just in general...

I happen to have always thought that the pay for dispatchers, was really terrible for the resonsibility the FAA and our respective airlines demand of us...but so are the pays for cops and fireman too...I knew it when I went into the business, turned down many offers over the years and nicely let them know I could and would not perform my craft for the pay offered...it did not halp me, but it was my own way to maybe help the dispatchers of the future..

Good luck to you dispatchers, and keep them safe, make yourself know to your crews and should your value to them every day..

'Frustrated' would be applicable to my position rather than 'hate'.

The bolded part is similar to what our management has said before: "The post office is hiring. If you don't like it, leave." That's not management. That's being defensive and not wanting or trying to make our work enviroment a better place to be employed.

 

[Gorilla]

It's my understanding we (dispatchers) have the same rules regarding medications...as least we do here at QX...unless you are talking about crew schedulers.

When we work while we are ill, all our coworkers become ill too (if it's contageous) !

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

 

[propsarebest]

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

At EVERY airline I have worked at, there has always been a bitchy crew scheduler, and the reason why is because they are on a power trip. The mojority of the bitchy ones are frustrated pilots who never got all their ratings and what not, so they are acting out against someone who is living their dream.

Just an observation

 

[El Ocho]

El Ocho,

If you are having trouble with your dispatchers, eval the reasons why, are they young, is there a corporate culture that allows poor communications ec...I would suggest paying the dispatch office a visit, meet the dispatchers, talk with the CP and DX mgr, maybe start a process improvment program yourself...some one has too..good luck..

I appreciate the advice, but fortunately, I don't have trouble with my dispatchers! Mostly because I don't take any of this personal. It's just a job, and I check you, you check me, together we dispatch a safe and legal flight. No big deal! No reason to get upset... No games from me because I'm not trying to "pull" anything.

And, I have been in to dispatch, and I do understand that often they are new or young or otherwise inexperienced... and frequently overworked too. Knowing about the other side certainly does help in the "not taking it personal" aspect.

Unfortunately, this is all a bit of wasted breath, because I realize in rereading my original post, I ment to say "crew trackers" where I said "Dispatchers"! Sorry about that!

 

[ilikecheese]

I like the ones who find nothing wrong with 23 hour 22 minute days and make me call Andrews AFB four times "just to make sure" we can't land there. :angryfire

 

[XShipRider]

Fa

So I get a call from one of my flights doing an empty repo flight: "We have been waiting an hour for a fuel truck. Can you call ops or the fueler and try to get something done?" AN HOUR?! WTF?!

You'd think it would occur to the crew to call after about 10 or 15 minutes.

Anyway, what is your stupid flight crew tricks story?

Here's a classic FA story. A CLE based FO FA in FLL called in SIQ. She
even went so far as to get a doctor's note due to ear inflammation and
"bulging." OK, so we put her up in a local hotel. The conversation from
there appears below (as close as I can remember, it's been awhile).

("We" below refers to the dispatchers and me)
"No, I want to go home," she says.
"Uhhhhh, but we thought you couldn't fly because it would be too painful,"
we say.
"That's okay, I'll endure the pain," she says.
"We can't get a direct flight today, they're all sold out," we say.
"I need a direct flight to minimize the pain," she says.
"There aren't any," we say.
"B$%$^t! I NEED A DIRECT FLIGHT TODAY!," she screams.
"There is one tomorrow afternoon, that's the best we can do."
"You guys are doing this on purpose," she says. "Why can't you guys
just bring the plane back to CLE?" she asks.
(Thought process... yeah, a $20-30K flight for a sick FA)

At this point she proceeds to call FO's FA manager who calls dispatch who
puts the call through to me. I explain the situation to her which she fully
understands. She tells me she'll take care of it. The FA flew back the
next day afternoon.
The FA actually thought we were going to bring a plane back to CLE from
FLL to swap FAs (not that it wasn't done for some pretty lame reasons
from time to time but that's another story).

 

[Cokie907]

I think this is a lousy thread. Why don't we start one titled "stupid dispatcher and stupid screw scheduler stories"? The answer is because it is tasteless not to mention boring since it would be the same screw-ups over and over again.

A better choice of thread might be: "Funny dispatch/crew scheduling stories"

Call me crazy but its the first thing that popped into my head when I started reading this insulting, divisive thread.

 

[30West]

How about this one:

I was flying a flight from IAD to PIT, with CMH listed as an alternate. Only one problem. The reason PIT required an alternate was due to a solid line of level 4-6 thunderstorms approaching PIT FROM THE WEST! Had the line beat me to PIT I would have had to fly THROUGH it to get to CMH. Needless to say, the release did not get signed until a new alternate was listed.

Sometime later, I was flying to Albany with an alternate of Burlington Vt. Upon inspection of the release, I discovered that although the weather was good at BTV, one runway was closed and the other was reported as having poor braking action. Definition of Suitable Runway?

Not slamming any particular group. I have worn both hats and both groups are not immune to head up and locked.

 

[pgcfii2002]

Pilots who call in 10 minutes prior to departure time and inform us they have food poisoning and cannot fly.

NICE!!

 

[XShipRider]

No offense

I'm sure my previous post was read by a few (or just plain "few") with
an eye toward smacking flight crews. It wasn't intended that way and
there were a few times we in the OCC were red-faced for having
screwed up a flight crews day only to end up with a flight declined (in
no small part due to our screw up).

Crews, schedulers and dispatchers have all made their share of errors
which caused problems and embarrassments.

 

[sardinesnack]

If pilots did not do their jobs, dispatch and scheduling would have no jobs at all. However, if dispatch and scheduling did not exsist I could still pilot a plane just as safely.

 

[405]

If pilots did not do their jobs, dispatch and scheduling would have no jobs at all. However, if dispatch and scheduling did not exsist I could still pilot a plane just as safely.

Great post.

What's your point? This was covered before in another thread. There was no winner.

 

[DX Rick]

Right after I got signed off, I was working the 330am start time. I get a phone call from my FO in GRR.
Rick, our FA is not going to be able to fly. He is a little under the weather.
Being oblivious to what he really ment, I ask if he can just fly the trip in, and I will get a new FA to cover him.
No, he closed out the bar last night. We had to get security to open his room door to find him butt naked on the bathroom floor.
Flight was whacked, set up the repo flight and told the FA not to go to the airport, we will fly him home later that night.
The guy got dressed in uniform, took another bus to the airport and tried convincing us, them on the phone that he was ok to fly and just really tired.
The airport police took him into custondy and he blew something like.118 BAC.

 

[Birddog]

Pilots who call in 10 minutes prior to departure time and inform us they have food poisoning and cannot fly.

NICE!!

Better than trying anyway and returning to the gate when they realize they are too sick to fly, or taking off and then disappearing to the lav enroute, leaving the other pilot with an incapcitated pilot scenerio. You get sick when you get sick.

 

[SKC]

Better than trying anyway and returning to the gate when they realize they are too sick to fly, or taking off and then disappearing to the lav enroute, leaving the other pilot with an incapcitated pilot scenerio. You get sick when you get sick.

Ninety-eight percent of the time, if you're sick at departure time, you were sick prior to show time.

 

[Birddog]

Yes, but food poisoning was specifically mentioned. The onset can very very rapid and occur with little warning. That was not only my experience, but the expience of others I know who have also had it.

 

[XShipRider]

Yes, but food poisoning was specifically mentioned. The onset can very very rapid and occur with little warning. That was not only my experience, but the expience of others I know who have also had it.

From a scheduler's point of view sick was sick. It didn't matter when it
happened or where it happened, the plane was useless until replacement(s)
could be found.

 

[30West]

I agree on the food poisoning call. When I was based in DTW I had dinner at one of the restaurants in the terminal. An hour later we were on the way to CLE. By the time we got halfway across the lake I was doing all I could do not to repaint the cockpit with the daily special. I spent the next 20 hours in the hotel in CLE praying to the porcelain gods. Had it happened prior to takeoff, you bet your ass that flight would not have left with me on it.

 

[OPNLguy]

One of my historical favs...

Just coming on a midnight shift. I take a call from the on-duty guy at the FAA Comm Center, and he's all kinds of torqued off, asking about our inflight fire...

"What inflight fire", I ask...?

Turns out one of our guys inbound to Houston from the west told ZHU that he had a fire, declared, and headed for SAT. About a minute later, Captain America tells ZHU they have things under control, and are headed for Houston. Captain America failed to realize that one you ring the bell with ATC that it's damn near impossible to unring it, nor did he "bother" calling to let us know on arrival. I tracked him down in the crew lounge, and he seemed generally stunned that (1) I even knew about it, and (2) that there were ramifications (paperwork and otherwise) associated with his having uttered the E-word...