Stupid Flight Crew tricks

[DX Jake]

"...Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work."

actually, that's the reason I love my job... no one knows about it. It's the best kept secret, and I'd like to keep it that way. And my pay... I don't deserve this much for what I do, I worked 5 times as hard on the ramp.

 

[Gorilla]

I called in sick two days ago. I'm still on the sick list. I flew Thanksgiving, Xmas eve, Xmas day, the 26th of Dec, Dec 30 and 31. Made it through 3 months of holiday flying.

When I called the crew scheduler, I politely introduced myself, and started to say "I'm on a prescription which prohibits flying..." At that point, I was rudely cut off with "SO... WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY IS YOU'RE CALLING IN SICK? OK BYE" <click> Totally rude tone and attitude.

The FAR's are explicit. The typical person gets 2 to 4 common head colds a year which last about a week. I will NOT fly with a cold; it hurts me badly due to pressurization, and it is totally unfair to the other guy stuck 1 foot away from me for 3 days. There are a LARGE number of sicknesses which you guys can show up for work with, which we cannot. Think of medications - about the only thing we can take is aspirin and sudafed, everything else is pretty much forbidden by name. Taking a narcotic painkiller for a bad back? No fly. An antihistamine? No fly. Depression? BIG TIME no fly, etc etc.

This is a sore spot for me and most other crew. Frankly I am amazed at how healthy pilots are. I understand how minimum manning causes crew sched big time grief... take that up with management.

 

[rvsm410]

You are in Rare territory Jake

I am real happy for your financial success in the dispatch field...owever for the Vast Majority of dispatchers in the regional ranks, its tough to make ends meet, most pay averaging well below the $20 an hour mark with a long way to get there..

It was always strange to me that working for supplemental carriers flying boxes around paid much better than do the Pax...even before todays industry crisis.

Getting hired by the new age Major carriers like SWA, JB, Airtran, Spirit and World, to name a few will prove to be impossible for most and it is there where the possibility of making a really good living exists within 5 years of DOH...at the larger regionals like Skywest, and former ASA it would take a dispatcher 10 + years to get up to the $50k mark (without working OT)...

So I am glad for you, you have your cake and seem to be eating it too! ::beer:

 

[El Ocho]

OK... What I don't get is why the dispatchers take all this stuff personal?

If I call in sick it is not to spite my dispatcher!

If I have a miserable schedule that gives me no allowance to take a personal day off, or makes no attempt to have commutable lines, so I have to call in sick occasionally, it is not to spite my dispatcher!

Just do your job, the best you can, and don't take it all so personal!

AND, why can't we work together rather than at odds? If I call and ask for something, it is not because I want to make more work for you. I probably just need it!

I'm not against you, please don't be against me.

Believe me, any stupid flight crew tricks are not intended to harm you, only to get a little occasional breathing room!

Just let it be! Don't fight it, because it is not ment to spite you!

 

[rvsm410]

El Ocho,

I never took a flight crews call in personal as a dispatcher, frankly, it usualy something we would not even know about...when a release is worked out, a crew shows up on the program which was populated by the screw sched department...the only thing of interest to a dispatcher on a normal daliy basis would be if the CPT is low mins....

As for working with my crews, I can only speak for the way I did it, I never ever argued with my crews, when they needed something, I took it personally to understand the request and evaluate the situation, if I could not approve or agree with a crew, I would always have an alternative solution allon with a reason for not agreeing with the original reguest...

My job as a dispatcher is to be your eyes on the ground and a backup and oversight system to the flight you are about to embark...my job IS to make the flight safe and provide you the crew the relief of doing much of the preflight planning...

If you are having trouble with your dispatchers, eval the reasons why, are they young, is there a corporate culture that allows poor communications ec...I would suggest paying the dispatch office a visit, meet the dispatchers, talk with the CP and DX mgr, maybe start a process improvment program yourself...some one has too..good luck..

 

[DX Rick]

That's exactly the point! Airline management took my passion and turned it into nothing more than a job. I love to fly, I don't love being treated like a piece of cr@p. And I am a happy person, just unhappy with my pay, qol, and schedule going down the drain.

It's always been a job. Do some research. I remember as a child in the late 70's and early 80's my dad being called out on Xmas day, Thanksgiving day to go fly a trip as a very senior captain. Year after year, holidays were spent over the phone while he was in a hotel room. It comes with the job. You want bankers hours, work at a bank.

Going back to nice little stunts crews have pulled I have to go with:

FO's swapping trips at an out station only to get an ACARS while in flight "Joe Shmoe and Mike Noone have swapped trips" .....just so they can fly with thier favorite FO's. Didn't take it personally, but the CP wasn't too happy.

Not my flight, but anothers. Crew enroute to MDW from DSM is in touch with DX via acars about some thunderstorms over CID. DX informs them they are clear south of CID of any TS. Crews sees something different on the wet Saab radar. Center made them aware that they were clear of any TS south of CID. Get an ACARS message, returning back to DSM due to wx. the dispatcher tried his best to "paint" the image for them. When in DSM the captain calls and says her 300 hours FO wasn't comfortable going around the wx. crew timed out in DSM, flight was cxld.

Not a stupid crew move, but a rookie-stupid dispatcher move. Spring of 2004, flight is flying GRR - MDW over Lake Michigan. I look on the radar and see that one of our planes is at 3,000ft. Not my flight, but curious I send them an acars since the captain is a friend of mine. They reply that they are at 3,000, in heavy rain, turbulence and very turbulent. I asked her what she was thinking when filing the flight. her responce was " I thought they could just fly under all the clouds and it would be smooth".

 

[405]

... BUt nothing is keeping you there, the pay is certainly replaceable, the hours are instantly improved over airline schedules..leave..to be excellent at anything you have to love it.....

Dispatching is not for everyone, it is thankless, most dont know we even exist, and those that due have little respect for those doing the work..I say you have to go out of your way to make other notice you by work excellence above and beyond the normal...JMHO and not aimed at anyone in peticular, just in general...

I happen to have always thought that the pay for dispatchers, was really terrible for the resonsibility the FAA and our respective airlines demand of us...but so are the pays for cops and fireman too...I knew it when I went into the business, turned down many offers over the years and nicely let them know I could and would not perform my craft for the pay offered...it did not halp me, but it was my own way to maybe help the dispatchers of the future..

Good luck to you dispatchers, and keep them safe, make yourself know to your crews and should your value to them every day..

'Frustrated' would be applicable to my position rather than 'hate'.

The bolded part is similar to what our management has said before: "The post office is hiring. If you don't like it, leave." That's not management. That's being defensive and not wanting or trying to make our work enviroment a better place to be employed.

 

[Gorilla]

It's my understanding we (dispatchers) have the same rules regarding medications...as least we do here at QX...unless you are talking about crew schedulers.

When we work while we are ill, all our coworkers become ill too (if it's contageous) !

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

 

[propsarebest]

I wasn't aware of that, thank you for pointing it out. My post was more of a vent on certain crew schedulers. The majority are professionals, but I ran into a crank the other day.

At EVERY airline I have worked at, there has always been a bitchy crew scheduler, and the reason why is because they are on a power trip. The mojority of the bitchy ones are frustrated pilots who never got all their ratings and what not, so they are acting out against someone who is living their dream.

Just an observation

 

[El Ocho]

El Ocho,

If you are having trouble with your dispatchers, eval the reasons why, are they young, is there a corporate culture that allows poor communications ec...I would suggest paying the dispatch office a visit, meet the dispatchers, talk with the CP and DX mgr, maybe start a process improvment program yourself...some one has too..good luck..

I appreciate the advice, but fortunately, I don't have trouble with my dispatchers! Mostly because I don't take any of this personal. It's just a job, and I check you, you check me, together we dispatch a safe and legal flight. No big deal! No reason to get upset... No games from me because I'm not trying to "pull" anything.

And, I have been in to dispatch, and I do understand that often they are new or young or otherwise inexperienced... and frequently overworked too. Knowing about the other side certainly does help in the "not taking it personal" aspect.

Unfortunately, this is all a bit of wasted breath, because I realize in rereading my original post, I ment to say "crew trackers" where I said "Dispatchers"! Sorry about that!

 

[ilikecheese]

I like the ones who find nothing wrong with 23 hour 22 minute days and make me call Andrews AFB four times "just to make sure" we can't land there. :angryfire

 

[XShipRider]

Fa

So I get a call from one of my flights doing an empty repo flight: "We have been waiting an hour for a fuel truck. Can you call ops or the fueler and try to get something done?" AN HOUR?! WTF?!

You'd think it would occur to the crew to call after about 10 or 15 minutes.

Anyway, what is your stupid flight crew tricks story?

Here's a classic FA story. A CLE based FO FA in FLL called in SIQ. She
even went so far as to get a doctor's note due to ear inflammation and
"bulging." OK, so we put her up in a local hotel. The conversation from
there appears below (as close as I can remember, it's been awhile).

("We" below refers to the dispatchers and me)
"No, I want to go home," she says.
"Uhhhhh, but we thought you couldn't fly because it would be too painful,"
we say.
"That's okay, I'll endure the pain," she says.
"We can't get a direct flight today, they're all sold out," we say.
"I need a direct flight to minimize the pain," she says.
"There aren't any," we say.
"B$%$^t! I NEED A DIRECT FLIGHT TODAY!," she screams.
"There is one tomorrow afternoon, that's the best we can do."
"You guys are doing this on purpose," she says. "Why can't you guys
just bring the plane back to CLE?" she asks.
(Thought process... yeah, a $20-30K flight for a sick FA)

At this point she proceeds to call FO's FA manager who calls dispatch who
puts the call through to me. I explain the situation to her which she fully
understands. She tells me she'll take care of it. The FA flew back the
next day afternoon.
The FA actually thought we were going to bring a plane back to CLE from
FLL to swap FAs (not that it wasn't done for some pretty lame reasons
from time to time but that's another story).

 

[Cokie907]

I think this is a lousy thread. Why don't we start one titled "stupid dispatcher and stupid screw scheduler stories"? The answer is because it is tasteless not to mention boring since it would be the same screw-ups over and over again.

A better choice of thread might be: "Funny dispatch/crew scheduling stories"

Call me crazy but its the first thing that popped into my head when I started reading this insulting, divisive thread.

 

[30West]

How about this one:

I was flying a flight from IAD to PIT, with CMH listed as an alternate. Only one problem. The reason PIT required an alternate was due to a solid line of level 4-6 thunderstorms approaching PIT FROM THE WEST! Had the line beat me to PIT I would have had to fly THROUGH it to get to CMH. Needless to say, the release did not get signed until a new alternate was listed.

Sometime later, I was flying to Albany with an alternate of Burlington Vt. Upon inspection of the release, I discovered that although the weather was good at BTV, one runway was closed and the other was reported as having poor braking action. Definition of Suitable Runway?

Not slamming any particular group. I have worn both hats and both groups are not immune to head up and locked.

 

[pgcfii2002]

Pilots who call in 10 minutes prior to departure time and inform us they have food poisoning and cannot fly.

NICE!!