Sky Bar

[typhoonpilot]

Avbug:

Your answer

BANNER BOOKS
PRESENTS

This best selling underground book remains the one indispensable guide and must-read for any guy who has voluntarily placed himself into the dating-relationship-marriage-divorce scene of our progressive, enlightened and highly litigious society. Hated by the matriarchal conspiracy and suppressed for years by the politically correct publishing industry, your copy is still available. If even the remotest, most fleeting thought has crossed your mind to enter into the punitive and legally imprisoning bonds of holy matrimony, you should order this book immediately. What may be the horrifying results of not reading this classic are brought to you in THE MOTHER - A Suburban Horror Story, available separately from Banner Books.



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TESTIMONIES:
"Here's some further reading: The Predatory Female...by a Reverend Shannon."
----PENTHOUSE Magazine, October 1997 issue


Rev. Shannon, you are a first class bastard! My girl friend was to be married in two weeks to a Navy pilot until someone in his reserve squadron gave him your terrible book. Now the wedding is canceled because of you! And those pilots think it's funny, congratulating him for backing out! At least she has taken my advice and filed a breach of promise suit. It will cost him plenty! He is going to pay and pay and pay!
----Katrina L. Dubois, Northbrook, IL


Dear Rev. Shannon, hello there! I just wanted you to know I think your book is great. I have gotten many good laughs with cockpit crews over your book. I work for Southwest Airlines...I am ordering one book for the guy I'm dating and one for myself. This book is hysterical; I absolutely loved it! Thanks again, take care! Love always,
----Sondra Barcalow, Phoenix, AZ





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Note from Rev. Shannon:

A dog can be a devoted and loyal friend waiting anxiously for you to return home, never too busy to give you its full attention and always ready to play. It wishes for nothing other than your affections and good will. But then one day it encounters a group of other dogs in the park. Your devoted friend charges off, totally forgetting that you even exist on earth. You feel deserted and abandoned. Suddenly your dedicated companion is urinating everywhere, defecating, and sniffing other dogs' butts while running madly about, raising hell and behaving like...yes...a dog. You had forgotten it was, after all, a dog! You were lulled into a comfortable relationship with something which you allowed yourself to perceive as other than what it really is! A lot of guys make the same mistake with women. This oversight grows to disastrous proportons when applied to the marriage program currently being sold in our country. Don't fall victim as so many before you have done. Save yourself the betrayals, the gut-wrenching recovery procedure, the bankruptcy and attorney's fees. As quickly as possible, purchase and read The Predatory Female and The Mother (below) before it is too late.


BANNER BOOKS
PRESENTS

Here is what happens to an innocent man who DID NOT read THE PREDATORY FEMALE by Reverend Lawrence Shannon. The horrors of a middle class, suburban marriage are brought to life in this comic episode where doctors, housewives, ministers, lawyers and judges all serve the matriarchy in conspiring to control, and render penniless, a harmless, salaried husband. THE MOTHER was written by Richard R. Rullman and Stephen S. Rullman.

Dear Frank: The cats and I have moved out. This should make you happy since Midnight won't pee-pee on your bed anymore. Please water and sponge the philodendrons. The bills are on your dresser and the phone bill is due tomorrow. Your garbage disposal is jammed again; don't blame me this time. If you want to talk seriously about us and our future, we will be at Mother's.
Love, Rhonda


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Absolutely hilarious! ____________________ Capt. F.L. Austin
Complete trash! __________________________Conservative Baptist Weekly
An outrage to decency!____________________National Book Reviewers & Retailers Association
Do NOT let your future husband read this! _____ Brides Quarterly
We refuse to distribute this scary book! _______ Wholesale Book Distributors Int'l
I loved it! ______________________________ Fenton Mole



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To Order Any Book:
Send check or money order for $8.95 per copy plus $4.95 shipping and handling to
Banner Books, PO Box 70302,
Reno, Nevada 89570.
*****

Please note, I'm not endorsing this, just answering the question.

Typhoonpilot

 

[Archer]

So there I am, wrestling to get the thing settled down, and the clown in the left seat is chanting, "you're awesome! You are the man! I'm going to recommend you for upgrade as soon as we get inside!"

Typhoon,

That made me laugh too! I always wondered what the relationship between Captain/FO was, and whether they jokes, laughed about things, or were serious and just did their job over 9 hour Transatlantic flights...

And he's not trying to ruin me...he's just giving me sh_t. It's what so many of us do, for some reason.

Well, I yet have to meet a pilot that is trying to ruin other pilots or people in general. I only saw this type of generalization in this thread.

So far, my CFI is an awesome guy. His CFI friend that I see every so often is cool too, always wishing us a good flight and fun. My friend in my class that is a CFI too, is very cool.

The Captains and FOs I used to speak to when I visited their cockpit in airliner flights were cool, welcoming and even made me sit on their lap once while landing when I was little.

I'm sure there are pilots out there as you said, that are tough, a little mean, selfish, who would like to mess around and make fun of you.

But I don't think that those types of pilots would be flying airliners with the lives of 300 human beings and millions of dollars worth of equipment at their hands...that's a different breed...it must be...

Archer

 

[KC-10 Driver]

Archer said:

The Captains and FOs I used to speak to when I visited their cockpit in airliner flights were cool, welcoming and even made me sit on their lap once while landing when I was little.

Has anyone seen the movie "Airplane"...? You know what I'm thinking.


Archer also said:

I'm sure there are pilots out there as you said, that are tough, a little mean, selfish, who would like to mess around and make fun of you. But I don't think that those types of pilots would be flying airliners with the lives of 300 human beings and millions of dollars worth of equipment at their hands...that's a different breed...it must be...

Someone previously on this thread pointed out that pilots are people, just like anyone else. You cannot make an absolute statement about anyone, even airline pilots. I personally know one or two that I would do anything to avoid flying a trip with.

 

[CatYaaak]

Lotsa Chatty Cathy's now. But if this is such a great bar, where in the he11 is my Scotch?

 

[Cardinal]

http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/gladiators.wav
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/s...//www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/naked.wav
http://www.moviesoundscentral.com/sounds/prison.wav

 

[avbug]

Jimmy, do you like gladiator movies?

 

[Typhoon1244]

I always wondered what the relationship between Captain/FO was, and whether they jokes, laughed about things, or were serious and just did their job...

Let me tell you about a common phenomenon that's been going on for decades...probably since the first multi-pilot aircraft took to the air.

As I'm sure you're aware, airline pilots take turns flying legs. While one guy flies, the other handles the radio, the preipheral systems, and--to some degree--the navigating. The guy who's not flying also generally handles the P.A. announcements. You wouldn't believe the lengths that some pilots will go to to try to make the guy who's making an announcement break up laughing.

One guy used to carry a baby's pacifier with him. He'd keep his face turned away until the captain was in mid speech, then turn and look at her Maggie Simpson-style. [Suck, suck...]

One captain that I flew with, an ex-Air Force type, has a tongue that has to be seven inches long. A real Gene Simmons. So there I am just trying to tell the folks what the weather in Dallas is going to be like, and this guy's flapping his tongue at me. I lasted about ten seconds before I had to stop.

I'll bet even the Aeroflot guys used to do stuff like this!

Even my father, the quintessential professional pilot, has been known to give people their ration of sh_t...including me! I remember him telling me during a fouled-up visual approach, "well, you're high...but, you're fast."

One of his first officers made a truly horrendous landing in PIE one night. My dad didn't say a word until they got to the gate and the F/O pulled out the aircraft log book. As the engines were spooling down, he pulled out his crew log and asked, "well, what time did your watch stop?"

Being professional doesn't mean sitting in the cockpit with a patented Al Gore broomstick up your wazoo the whole time. There's a time for being serious, and there's a time for...well, you know.

First rule of flying: if you're not enjoying yourself, you're doing it wrong!

Oh, one last thing. Speaking of Aeroflot...this is a true story, so help me. During the dark days at Eastern Air Lines right before the strike, my father and his DC-9 crew were riding in a hotel courtesy van in N.Y.C. with, of all things, an Aeroflot Il-86 crew. They were talking shop, and it quickly became obvious that the Aeroflot guys had it pretty rough compared to us...bad pay, lousy schedules, often non-existant maintenance, poor service, etc, etc, etc. Dad's F/O said, "wow, sounds pretty bad."

The Russian captain replied, "not as bad as working for Frank Lorenzo!"

 

[TurboS7]

When I was on the 727 I used to have a furry play mouse that I used to call "Freddy". I would set him up on the launch pad which was the AP connect and disconnect on the consol.sp We got pretty good at launching him around the flight deck. We would scare FA's with it big time. Well the word got around and the FA's would come in and get pretty brave as they would just watch my finger on the disconnect switch on the yoke so they would know when Fredy was about to launch. I told the SO we will take care of that, I told him when I winked to change Essential to another generator that automatically disconnected the AP. We got Freddy all set up and this one FA came in. I asked her if she had met Freddy and asked to to pet him. She leaned over and I winked at the SO to launch him. Freddy was friskey that day and shot right inbetween her boobs. She freaked and screamed to the top of her lungs and prettty near ripped her dress off getting him out. Sometime during that trip Freddy was stolen out of my flight case and I never saw him again.

 

[bigD]

What's the minimum age to be a flight attendant? I was on a United (I think) flight to NY about a year ago and saw an amazingly cute FA, but she didn't look to be much older than 16. Talk about jail bait!

 

[TurboS7]

I have been to Kuwait 8 to 10 times over the years doing AMC work. We go to the military side of(OKBK) Kuwait International, usually we are only on the ground 2 hours always at night for obvious reasons. I did do a day turn there in the summer once and the temp was 118F a cool day in summer.