Shy Bladder - Anyone else get stage fright?

[FN FAL]

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

Possibly the most random and yet funniest thing I have ever read on this board!!!!

Danm you, man...I just spit water through my nose.

Hahaha...

The chick I was dating at the time didn't think it was so funny when I told her what the "secret" was! She's probably still trying to get her husband to "mentally" clean a few guns!

I would think the technique would work with anything that could get your mind off of the subject matter...heck, if you're a gear head...try synchronizing that six pack carb you put on the hemi...fisherman? tie a fly or two...woodworker? build that work bench or picknick table you been thinking of!

It's mind over matter! If you don't mind...it don't matter!

 

[FN FAL]

Try peeing at Wrigly Field!! That is the worst.

yup...large sporting events. It's almost like you have to time it just right.

 

[Vik]

You guys ever to been to a circus or something and there is just a giant animal feed look'n trough for everyone to just stand around and pee in? Thats the worst.

 

[LewisU_Pilot]

You guys ever to been to a circus or something and there is just a giant animal feed look'n trough for everyone to just stand around and pee in? Thats the worst.

Yup, that is how Wrigley field is. A bunch of guys hanging out around a trough peeing. The worst is when you are down at the end where the drain is. All the pee collecting right by you and attempting to go down the drain which usually is a problem. You see beer cups, cigarette butts and other foreign objects seem to collect around the drain and the urine starts to build and build and build. The funniest thing I had ever seen was a turd float by me. Yes a turd! Seems someone thought it would be funny to take a number 2 in a trough

 

[JimNtexas]

I never knew people had that particular problem. I have a tiny little bladder, my whole life consists of carefully planned trips from one restroom to the next. I understand the rules for where to stand in a public restroom, but if there is one left then I'm in hot, and if your feet are in the way I'm sorry about trodding on them.

I'll urninate just about anywhere, its always a relief. We were talking about Korea in another thread, and this reminded me that a nice thing about Korea is that when you have to go, you just go into the benjo that is always nearby, even if there are million people within a one block radius.

Still, LewisU_Pilot gave me the most gross mental image I've had in years. Thanks for nothing dude.

 

[minitour]

The funniest thing I had ever seen was a turd float by me. Yes a turd! Seems someone thought it would be funny to take a number 2 in a trough

LMFAO

Funniest thing I've read in a looooooong time...thanks for the giggles

gotta pitch in my hatred for the trough...

-mini

 

[Kream926]

Try peeing at Wrigly Field!! That is the worst.

bills games too one big ass trolf. it think they redid the lav's when you redid the stadium

 

[RichardRambone]

The only way to beat trough shyness is to combat it with drunk explosiveness.

 

[NTXPilot]

"I can't even use the urinals in a restroom; I've always been a stall man..."

 

[michael707767]

Be thankful you never had to do it in the USAF! I was a medic, and there were times when we had to supervise drug pee tests (i.e. after a flightline accident or incident, all airmen involved had to come in to get tested). We had to stand next to, and slightly behind, the guy as he was pissing in the cup to make sure there wasn't any trickery involved.

I had the supervised pee test many times in the Air Force. Since I get stage fright, my tactic would be to drink enough diet coke until there was no way to stop it. Of course, then I ended up pissing every 5 minutes for the next four hours!

 

[2000flyer]

Talk about the ultimate fear...

I had been at the airport in Tokyo for about 8 hours. Plenty off good strong coffee! Got up to hit the head. I go in, the only one there, standing at the urinal relaxed when I notice out of the corner of my eye somone cleaning the other urinals. Mind you...no dividers. I concentrate on the task at hand when I notice this person is now at the urinal next to mine. I look over only to see it's a cleaning WOMAN! She gives a polite smile and bow, walks around me and starts on the one to my right. I look at her again and get another smile and bow. Yep, the urge to go was GONE!

At a concert in Minneapolis, where the urinal was the good ole trough, I was standing there in a half stuppor when this little darling walks up next to me, turns around and hikes up her skirt and GOES! She said the line was too long in the women's restroom. Yep...still couldn't go with her sitting there but that sight will be forever burned in my memory! Her girlfriend said "That guy is looking at you!!!" She replies "So, I'm looking at his!" Ahhhhh, college days

2000Flyer

 

[smellthejeta]

DOT rules require that a person who has consumed more than 40 oz of fluid within 3 hours of giving a sample be disqualified from testing.

How do I know? I *absolutely* cannot "schedule" my piss sessions. Even if I know I have to go (pre-employment test, for example) I have a hard time "timing" it right. If they pull me in on a random/incident test, forget it. I once got pulled in around 2200 for a "for cause" test (which was horse crap, but that's beside the point). I got a half gallon of gatorade and three liters of water. I had drank the gatorade and was into the second of the 1.5 liter bottles of water when the tester realized it and cut me off. Told me if that was a DOT test (rampies are not "covered" employees) I would be disqualified.

At a different employer (again as a "non covered" employee), the paperwork I was given said that if the subject couldn't produce a sample, he was to consume no more than 40 oz of liquid before attempting to give another sample.

 

[Bob Runday]

It's not stage fright I am worried about, I don't understand why the water in the urinals has to be SO cold!

 

[FL000]

...and deep.

 

[FurloughedAgain]

Boy talk about your lousy coincidences. Got called for a random drug test today. Drank a couple of large bottles of water on the way to the lab. Still didn't have to pee when I got there.

I sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes until I had the "urge". I told the cute little nurse that I had a bit of "stage fright" and if she could just give me a few minutes I could produce.

Thankfully she was nice about it. They left me alone, it was quiet so thankfully I was able to urinate with only a minor delay!

Fantastic! I tell you, i'm so relieved when I leave this place you would think that I just passed the bar exam or something.

Phew!

 

[cforst513]

i always scheduled my pee tests early in the morning. i'd just wake up, go, and my morning pee would be the test. i don't have trouble when people are watching, though. in fact, to save on water, i typically pee in between my g/f's legs when she's sitting on the toilet!

 

[crash-proof]

I can fully relate to stage fright...I can only use a urinal if no one's there...but if there's someone next door, forget it.


I went to a concert few years back where the only option was a trough, well, I went straight to the stall. Even then, with ruckus outside, I couldn't go. Then, 5 min later a security dude almost knocks the door down then peers down at me from the top of the stall.

"Oh, sorry, I thought you were doin some blow in there..."

 

[minitour]

in fact, to save on water, i typically pee in between my g/f's legs when she's sitting on the toilet!

N-A-S-T-Y

 

[cforst513]

N-A-S-T-Y

whaddya mean? we all have to do our part to help save the environment!

 

[FurloughedAgain]

Got another test coming up. Ordered a hypnosis MP3 that is supposed to help, unfortunately whenever someone claps I just end up clucking like a chicken...