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From what I hear, we're getting Rotisserie ovens installed instead of hot water jugs. "Oven Roasted Honey Glazed" chickens will be served on legs longer than one hour.

This is straight from the mustachioed lady from the Asian Chao in the F concourse.

No kidding.
 
We're getting BE99s again, painted in the heritage "Desert Erosion" scheme. Quaint, rustic airtravel for the nostalgic masochists that think 907 is too "faintzy."

Retroactive pay, of course, since the last Beech flew for Henson. Unfortunately, WE owe the company that money, withdrawn at a rate with daily compounded interest since the POD, or Point of Demise (when travellers took it in the Shorts to fly Henson, and the Beech was put to bed).

Inspectors doing type rides in the planes again.

No more flight attendants. Any pilot who uses the "secure cockpit" claptrap to refuse leaving the flight deck for a full service (including the Honey Glazed Chickstravaganza on 1 hour legs) is terminated.

New fuel savings policy on the heels of single engine taxi: Single Engine Cruise.

AC gens now on the MEL, from OCT-MAR only. Significant savings right there!

HYD Q for dispatch is now the average of the levels of both systems; min/max is now 1.236788111920000192 qt. Noncompliance is paramount to mutiny, and you will be fired.

Any and all pay discrepencies are to be submitted no later than the 15th of the month prior to the BID period in question. Late submittals are ignored.

Did I miss anything?
 
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Now THAT"S awesome!
 
Who knows. . . . maybe the 99's will be better preserved than the current fleet.

If we work hard enough, maybe Farrow and his cronies will take us all out to Seacrets!

Mr. Farrow!! Maybe we could save money by only requiring half the actual tires on the Dash. 1 tire on each main strut and 1 on the nose!
 
Sig said:
We're getting BE99s again, painted in the heritage "Desert Erosion" scheme. Quaint, rustic airtravel for the nostalgic masochists that think 907 is too "faintzy."

Retroactive pay, of course, since the last Beech flew for Henson. Unfortunately, WE owe the company that money, withdrawn at a rate with daily compounded interest since the POD, or Point of Demise (when travellers took it in the Shorts to fly Henson, and the Beech was put to bed).

Inspectors doing type rides in the planes again.

No more flight attendants. Any pilot who uses the "secure cockpit" claptrap to refuse leaving the flight deck for a full service (including the Honey Glazed Chickstravaganza on 1 hour legs) is terminated.

New fuel savings policy on the heels of single engine taxi: Single Engine Cruise.

AC gens now on the MEL, from OCT-MAR only. Significant savings right there!

HYD Q for dispatch is now the average of the levels of both systems; min/max is now 1.236788111920000192 qt. Noncompliance is paramount to mutiny, and you will be fired.

Any and all pay discrepencies are to be submitted no later than the 15th of the month prior to the BID period in question. Late submittals are ignored.

Did I miss anything?

That is they funniest thing I have read in a long time. Well done sir!
 
Sig said:
We're getting BE99s again, painted in the heritage "Desert Erosion" scheme. Quaint, rustic airtravel for the nostalgic masochists that think 907 is too "faintzy."

Retroactive pay, of course, since the last Beech flew for Henson. Unfortunately, WE owe the company that money, withdrawn at a rate with daily compounded interest since the POD, or Point of Demise (when travellers took it in the Shorts to fly Henson, and the Beech was put to bed).

Inspectors doing type rides in the planes again.

No more flight attendants. Any pilot who uses the "secure cockpit" claptrap to refuse leaving the flight deck for a full service (including the Honey Glazed Chickstravaganza on 1 hour legs) is terminated.

New fuel savings policy on the heels of single engine taxi: Single Engine Cruise.

AC gens now on the MEL, from OCT-MAR only. Significant savings right there!

HYD Q for dispatch is now the average of the levels of both systems; min/max is now 1.236788111920000192 qt. Noncompliance is paramount to mutiny, and you will be fired.

Any and all pay discrepencies are to be submitted no later than the 15th of the month prior to the BID period in question. Late submittals are ignored.

Did I miss anything?


Nope... I think that just about covers it!!!:D Nice to see that nothing's changed since I left in '96.:rolleyes: Great post,by the way!!


PHXFLYR:cool:
 
Flow through news!!!!111!!11eleven!

Doug Parker has just personally announced ratification of a flow through agreement to mainline. In a stroke of sheer altruism, the CEO himself decided to take matters into his own hands and cemented a program to ensure both morale and reasonable carrer progression expectations are part of the landscape of the new USAirways.

Piedmont CEL pilots are now eligible to bid on mainline ramp utility positions, effective immediately.

"I have two things to say. First of which, we're proud to continue having Piedmont pilots as below-the-wing support for mainline. Second, with as much feces as these guys can and do put up with, who better to serve their counterparts in a meaningful, mainline-employed manner?," said the CEO at a soon to be webcast announcement from Charlotte.

The pilot's union representative didn't say much. "Hmmph," the anonymous by request man stated, "at least it's a pay and QOL increase. Good job, team! Hear, hear!"

In other news, a strange spike in homicide rates was noted on Maryland's Eastern Shore, all with a spookily similar MO- somebody has been defecating on seemingly random people's heads and killing them with a knife between the shoulder blades. A manhunt is underway for the same killer in Newark, St Louis, Indianapolis, and the DC area (Herndon).
 
Sig said:
Piedmont CEL pilots are now eligible to bid on mainline ramp utility positions, effective immediately.

Dam...Knew I should have stayed. :mad:
 
Sig said:
Flow through news!!!!111!!11eleven!


Piedmont CEL pilots are now eligible to bid on mainline ramp utility positions, effective immediately.

(Herndon).


You mean to tell me they're bypassing the APL on this? OK, that's it: NOW I'M PISSED OFF!
 
"Piedmont CEL pilots are now eligible to bid on mainline ramp utility positions, effective immediately."

Will the CEL guys that went to MDA be able to backfill the PDT positions made open by current PDT folks bidding into ramp positions?
 
LearLove said:
"Piedmont CEL pilots are now eligible to bid on mainline ramp utility positions, effective immediately."

Will the CEL guys that went to MDA be able to backfill the PDT positions made open by current PDT folks bidding into ramp positions?

Absolutely not!
 

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