Riding in the back

[brokedash]

When riding in the back of the plane, what is the most memorable pax (character) you recall?

I was on a flight to TPA once and I sat next to this obnoxious guy that looked at least 10 years older than he probably was. Before departure he apparently had a problem with another passenger and had to be escorted back to his seat. He spent pre departure apologizing to the FAs every time they walked by while continuing to point fingers at the other guy. He turns to me and the other pax in the row and asks if we saw what happened, which apparently neither of us did, then he blew us off.

Sometime after take off the other pax was asking me were I was headed and I told her MCO. The obnoxious guy goes off on me wanting to know why I didn't catch the Nonstop to MCO, well I was NREV and that flight was oversold. He then went on to state how I-4would be a killer at rush hour. The dude then bought some earphones and wired into the movie.

After landing and the guy had his cell phone out before turning onto the taxi way and was protesting at the person on the other end about having to pick up a receipt somewhere. The second the brakes hit at the gate, that guy was up and making a bee line to door, mumbling and cussing at his phone the entire way.

This guy reminded me a lot of that ass hole character from Airport that treated the FAs like ******************** since he got demoted to coach. BTW I-4 was actually a breeze that day and it was the Orlando Turnpike that gave me driving headaches!

 

[DrewBlows]

How does one "look 10 years older than he probably was"?

If you thought he was a certain age you would think he was that age and not comment on how much older you though he was.

 

[landlover]

mine was the time i got a hand job on the way to sdf in a crj.

 

[doug_or]

The $h1t bird. PHX-PDX on HP back in the day. A very "rural" fellow. Drunk as a skunk. I was in the window seat, he was in the middle and effeminate (wussy, not gay) software engineer in a skin tight light sweater was in the aisle. Apparently this fellow's 19 year old girlfriend (he was in his mid-40s) had bit him (he showed us the scar/scab/mark) and taken his truck (which had all his tools). His friend in troutdale bought him a ticket TUS-PDX and got him a job up in Oregon apparently. He kept trying (and sometimes succeeded) in pinching/slabbing the F/As ass, while loudly explaining that he would never be involved with an F/A because they are always getting around and he couldn't deal with that. He then began referring to me and the aisle fag as $h1t birds. When the A/F asked him what a $h1t bird was he started laughing. He asked "what does a bird do?". I thought: fly? sing? He said: "they $h1t!". "So you're a $h1t bird!" and began laughing hysterically.

 

[BLing]

I found that being in uniform and riding in the back attracted the strange ones attention. Especially those with a million questions... Are we safe? How fast are we going? Can you fly this airplane? How long you been flying? Does your mother know youre out playing pilot? What do your stripes mean? Is it hard to fly? Are you good at math? Do you have 20/20 vision? My son wants to be a pilot, how should he become one becase he wants to make a lot of money???

Now that Im contracting wherever whenever, I can sit back with my confirmed ticket in my jeans and get trashed! Most importantly I get left alone!

 

[zasca]

I had a drunk-gay-puerto rican or a retarded-drunk-possibly gay puerto rican across the aisle from me in the exit row. He was freaking nuts, making lots of commotion, but EXTREMELY happy. Went up to the F/A's to ask what his deal was. They were like "oh you noticed him too, he's not in his assigned seat!". Well I'm thinking, "Throw this loon off the plane". They place him one row back and we takeoff. Throughout the whole flight he's making eyes at me, yelling bizarre compliments at me, and generally talking to the entire A320. Every 30 seconds was punctuated by his bizarre hyena laugh and him yelling "yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay". The coup de gras was him singing happy birthday to himself on short approach and practically entering into a standing ovation on touchdown. To this day I'm sure whether he was loaded up on X and vodka, or mentally disabled....

 

[doh]

I'm commuting in uniform after a long trip. I got my ear plugs in and my face mashed against the fuselage. I am sleeping so hard I'm drooling. The broad next to me wakes me up. She's crying and wants to know how I can sleep when we are all going to die. We are in light, maybe occasional moderate, and she freakin' wakes me? I fall back asleep, only to be woken every five minutes all the way to TPA. She was a freak. I don't think she quit crying the whole time. Freak.

 

[Salukipilot4590]

I'm commuting in uniform after a long trip. I got my ear plugs in and my face mashed against the fuselage. I am sleeping so hard I'm drooling. The broad next to me wakes me up. She's crying and wants to know how I can sleep when we are all going to die. We are in light, maybe occasional moderate, and she freakin' wakes me? I fall back asleep, only to be woken every five minutes all the way to TPA. She was a freak. I don't think she quit crying the whole time. Freak.

Yeah but how old was she and was she cute?

 

[DX Jake]

My buddy told me this story at work. He was on a flight from BWI to TPA. About 30 mins into flight he had to use the aft lav. He claims he ate some rough mexican food the night before. After 5 mins in there, he returns to his seat. Shortly after returning to his seat, the f/a makes an announcment that the aft lav is now out of service. Very embarrassed, he hides his face in the window. The flight attendant (who knew he was an employee) then approaches him and asks if he can come to the back of the plane. After getting back there, she explains the oxygen mask dropped and wondered if he could help or knew how to put it back in the PSU. Whewwwww....

 

[Carl_Spackler]

I had just finished a long day and was riding home. Gate agent gave me a first class seat....thought I was golden, big seat, snack, and quiet. Too bad I didn't have time to change out of my uniform.

I end up sitting next to this woman in her 40's who had apparently been on some kind of drinking binge for a few days. After all of the regular, what's your route, are you the main pilot, how old I am, you probably make a lot of money, huh? questions she has to tell me about her friend at US Air that lost his pension.....like it was news to me or something.

I figured that after we got in the air and she had a few more drinks, she would pass out. I wasn't so lucky. The fact that I stopped talking to her didn't keep her conversation coming.

I tried to read with ear buds in, put my oakleys on and pretend to sleep, but that didn't help her get the hint either. At least 10 times of a 3 hour flight, she had to tell me about her USAir friend and ask how old I was.

I finally got so tired of her talking I asked her if she was really drunk or had alzheimers(sp) cause she kept asking the same questions over and over. She paused for a second.....and unfazed kept talking.

That is one flight I would have rather had a middle seat in the back than first class.
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This whole story is true, except the oakley part