Regional Airline New Hire Class

[viper548]

I'd go to law school myself, but now I can't afford it and I'm gone all the time. I don't think they have on-line law degrees.

If you find a place that has online law degrees, let me know

 

[jumppilot03]

Just show up wearing your pilots uniform and 4 sripes from the fancy "flight academy"

 

[dollacrackho]

get the 121 regs., memorize them all, be able to recite them verbatim.
study advanced aerodynamics and fluid dynamics. umm what else , thermodynamics, multivariable nonlinear calculus, being fluent in mandarin chinese couldn't hurt , jit sao fuo dung tae kwan karate all seven disciplines, salsa dancing , and write a thesis on the feeding habits of the ethiopian nostril aphid in relation to mating. that just a generalization but i think you'll find most airlines are pretty similar.

 

[Crash Pad]

jit sao fuo dung tae kwan karate all seven disciplines,

...Ah yes, doesn't that automatically make you a FFDO?

 

[NuGuy]

Make sure that you are current on the regulations for public assistance and low income public housing.

If you have a family, don't forget to enrole in the food stamp program and Medicaid.

You will be given directions your first day to the local food bank and government cheese distribution point.

Nu

 

[Otto Coarsen]

What is some good information to study prior to starting a new hire class. Also what is the usual dress attire for class.
Any info helps. Thanks

1: Go to a local sweat shop and ask the employees how they survive on minimum wage

2: Sell your car and buy a 81 Suzuki GS 750 Motorcycle and introduce your self to the line boys at the local FBO. Make an arrangement to "dispose" of their morning 100LL sumps for use in your bike.

3: Apply for section 8 housing

4: buy some hard pretzels and coke and start training yourself on how to stomach this combo for days at a time

5: Buy some shoes that don't contain metal

6: switch to Schlitz, PBR, and/or Miller Lowlife.

7: Boost self esteem by driving through the local ghetto and look at all the poor folks who have it worse.

8: Buy a backpack instead of a flight bag. If you shave real close, you may be able to get in on that office depot "schoolbags for the needy" donation program.

9: Pay off your credit cards

10: File for a defferment on your stafford loans indeffinately

11: Set your cellphone to wake you up at 3AM and practice not answering.

12: If single, lower your standards in women 4 points to prepare for flight attendants, (unless you're going to skywest) PRactice coping with "FOkker's Remorse" Mayve even get a visectomy. If married, Find a good lawyer.

13: say good bye to all of your real friends. Maybe lie and tell them you're joining the peace corps.

14: Learn how to carefully cut porn with a metal flight can into various shapes that fit cockpit panels.

15: Look into Lexapro, Wellbutrin, Paxil, or depending how long you've been CFIing possibly serequel, xanex, or valuim.

16: Practice becoming more negative. For example: bittch to the servers about your meals, read your kids bedtime stories such as Mien Komph.

17: Get one of thos industrial sized jars of Vasoline

18: Make a fake wooden gear handle and mount it to your wall or car's dashboard and practice raising and lowering it.

19: Tell you're kids Santa is hospitalized this year, and presents will have to wait a year or two.

20: Convert your cellphone to a 1-900 number

21: Start convincing youself that you've ALWAYS dreamed of workign for southwest since birth.

22: Tie your flight bag to the fender of you "new" 81 suzuki gs750 and drag it around for a few hours to eliminat that "newbie" look.

23: Take your last puff of the good stuff.

24: Start smoking.

25: Take everything you've learned up to now about flying and flush it down the toilet.

26: Build a good relationship with your doctor, so he feels comfortable writing you 2-3 doctors notes a month.

27: Try and remember what kindergarten was like and start mentally preparing yourself for that scenarion again.

28: Find out early what kind of booze your sim checkairman likes and have a bottle ready.

29: Iff you're going to an RJ, you can practice your new job description at home by purchasing a calculator, or even an old cell phone will work; then randomly and mindlessly pushing buttons for 1-3 hours straight.

As for the dress attire, Most places like to see you in a cutoff shirt 6 sizes too small, and a pair of assless leather chaps. (easy access)
Hope this Helps.

 

[viper548]

That's pretty good otto

 

[regionaltard]

If you find a place that has online law degrees, let me know

Here ya go.....

 

[viper548]

Here ya go.....

Sweet, thanks.