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I-Phone saves the day, solves all delay problems...

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All hail the miracle of the iPhone...that sees weather data that we, the clueless dispatchers of this industry, have no ability to see otherwise.

OK...so lets break this down to what REALLY happened.
  • Needing to kill time during this 3 hour groundstop...pilot fires up his iPhone to look at a little porn.
  • When his favorite porn site won't load up...he decides to look at the radar so he can see just what exactly that line of storms he will be barrelling right through a little later on looks like (despite the fact that his dispatcher filed a good route to deviate around the level 5 storm).
  • Meanwhile, the storms have let up and the groundstop in EWR has given way to a nasty flow program.
  • Pilot sees no more storm on top of EWR...thinks in his egomaniacal, "I'm-the-only-one-that-matters" way, that is all it takes to get a groundstop/GDP lifted. Backed up traffic be damned.
  • Calls dispatch and demands a better time.
  • Calls dispatch again after calling and bugging the hell out of the tower controller.
  • Calls dispatch and wants to talk to the sup on duty about why he is still sitting on the ground in ORD.
  • Dispatch, tired of dealing with this toolbag, fires up the Command Center TCA Hotline/Request page and begs Ricky Bell, the God of ATC, himself for a better flow time just to get this guy out of their hair.
I think that sounds closer to how the story probably really went...
 
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Hot damn! I cannot wait for my company issued iPhone so that I may give pilots the most up-to-date weather ever established. I would really like to know what NOAA dropped the ball on this technology to begin with though.
 
WalterSobchak said:
All hail the miracle of the iPhone...that sees weather data that we, the clueless dispatchers of this industry, have no ability to see otherwise.

OK...so lets break this down to what REALLY happened.
  • Needing to kill time during this 3 hour groundstop...pilot fires up his iPhone to look at a little porn.
  • When his favorite porn site won't load up...he decides to look at the radar so he can see just what exactly that line of storms he will be barrelling right through a little later on looks like (despite the fact that his dispatcher filed a good route to deviate around the level 5 storm).
  • Meanwhile, the storms have let up and the groundstop in EWR has given way to a nasty flow program.
  • Pilot sees no more storm on top of EWR...thinks in his egomaniacal, "I'm-the-only-one-that-matters" way, that is all it takes to get a groundstop/GDP lifted. Backed up traffic be damned.
  • Calls dispatch and demands a better time.
  • Calls dispatch again after calling and bugging the hell out of the tower controller.
  • Calls dispatch and wants to talk to the sup on duty about why he is still sitting on the ground in ORD.
  • Dispatch, tired of dealing with this toolbag, fires up the Command Center TCA Hotline/Request page and begs Ricky Bell, the God of ATC, himself for a better flow time just to get this guy out of their hair.
I think that sounds closer to how the story probably really went...
Click to expand...

THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST DAMN THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! ROTFLMAO!

One of my counter parts told me that Ricky once put out a ground stop for Hou Hobby for the Houston Center, Ft. Worth Center, and Toledo. Yes, I said said Toledo. After about 10 seconds of silence on the SPO, Ft. Worth chimed in and said, "uhh Ricky, that's Tulsa. I laughed for hours.
 
Just fly a 747 in from another country, you will have no problems with ATC, and the FO won't be making enough $$$ to buy a iphone in the first damn place.

:uzi:
 
DX Jake said:
THAT WAS THE FUNNIEST DAMN THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! ROTFLMAO!

One of my counter parts told me that Ricky once put out a ground stop for Hou Hobby for the Houston Center, Ft. Worth Center, and Toledo. Yes, I said said Toledo. After about 10 seconds of silence on the SPO, Ft. Worth chimed in and said, "uhh Ricky, that's Tulsa. I laughed for hours.
Click to expand...
Dude...Ricky and his "braintrust" are a constant source of entertainment. I know it's gonna be a good day when I hear Ricky Bell running any telcon.
 
I really dislike that commericial. If that guy really is a pilot he is doing a disservice to pilots and dispatchers, of course money talks and I am sure that he is getting paid quite well from apple and the nice plug for weather.com.

Now every passenger that has an iphone will think that they are an expert on the weather and dispatching aircraft.

I remember having a weather delay for a strong line of storms approaching DFW years ago. We taxi out and shut down along with everyone else, so I gotta visit the lavatory, I come out of the cockpit and some passenger looks at me and says, "did you not call 1-800-WX-Brief and get a briefing before we taxied out?" Idiot.
 
I'm just waiting for the stories of angry passengers at LGA during a ground stop asking the pilots why they don't have an I-Phone. I'm sure some moron will videotape the altercation and put it on youtube.
 
Rerouted said:
I'm just waiting for the stories of angry passengers at LGA during a ground stop asking the pilots why they don't have an I-Phone. I'm sure some moron will videotape the altercation and put it on youtube.
Click to expand...

I would have loived to have seen a tape of -this- one.. (From another board...)

From another board... Hope you get a chuckle out of it...

[FONT=ARIAL, Helvetica,
Geneva]Oh joy! I can't wait for the next ground delay or long taxi due to weather somewhere to get a smarta** with a freakin i-phone shoving it in my face saying "It's NOT raining there... SEE !" [/FONT]

Too late...already happened to me. We push back, get advised of a ground stop in MEM due to storms in the area. Go to the penalty box and wait. My Captain does the lecture over the PA... not one minute later, we get dinged from the F/A

"Some guy with an IPhone says the weather is good, and wants to know what the real reason is for the delay. Is something wrong with the plane?"

I want to tell this clown what he can do with his IdiotPhone - but the Captain does it even better. He gets on the PA and makes the following announcement :

"If the passenger with the IPhone would be kind enough to use it to check the weather at our alternate, calculate our fuel burn due to being rerouted around the storms, call the dispatcher to arrange our release, and then make a phone call to the nearest Air Traffic Control center to arrange our timely departure amongst the other aircraft carrying passengers with IPhones, then we will be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the Flight Attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multi-million dollar aircraft and its 84 passengers to safely leave."

Needless to say, the pax was pretty embarrassed. The F/A later told us the rest of the plane was outright laughing at this dude. What a clown...
 
OPNLguy said:
I would have loived to have seen a tape of -this- one.. (From another board...)

From another board... Hope you get a chuckle out of it...

[FONT=ARIAL, Helvetica,
Geneva]Oh joy! I can't wait for the next ground delay or long taxi due to weather somewhere to get a smarta** with a freakin i-phone shoving it in my face saying "It's NOT raining there... SEE !" [/FONT]

Too late...already happened to me. We push back, get advised of a ground stop in MEM due to storms in the area. Go to the penalty box and wait. My Captain does the lecture over the PA... not one minute later, we get dinged from the F/A

"Some guy with an IPhone says the weather is good, and wants to know what the real reason is for the delay. Is something wrong with the plane?"

I want to tell this clown what he can do with his IdiotPhone - but the Captain does it even better. He gets on the PA and makes the following announcement :

"If the passenger with the IPhone would be kind enough to use it to check the weather at our alternate, calculate our fuel burn due to being rerouted around the storms, call the dispatcher to arrange our release, and then make a phone call to the nearest Air Traffic Control center to arrange our timely departure amongst the other aircraft carrying passengers with IPhones, then we will be more than happy to depart. Please ring your call button to advise the Flight Attendant and your fellow passengers when you deem it ready and responsible for this multi-million dollar aircraft and its 84 passengers to safely leave."

Needless to say, the pax was pretty embarrassed. The F/A later told us the rest of the plane was outright laughing at this dude. What a clown...
Click to expand...




Oh I love that! Definite classic OPNLguy. Passengers will never understand. Just sit back, continue being naive, and enjoy your flight people.
 
Sorry

"Sorry Sir, I will have to confiscate your iPhone. You see, you were told prior to departing the gate you were not to use electronic devices at this time. But you had to prove the captain wrong. You will have your phone returned to you on the ground, maybe. You know, the captain's son has been wanting one of these phones so you never know, you might not get it back.":)
 
shark77 said:
Nothing like logging time in row 14 seat B.
Click to expand...

They seem to think that they have these in front of them...

SeatbackInstrumentPanel.jpg
 
Heck, why not have the geniuses at Apple invent an I-phone that flies the plane too!!
 
The guy in the commercial really is a pilot, and a friend of mine. I could give you his name, company, and seat... but that's just asking for more trouble as I'm sure you all could agree.

Anyway, IT'S A COMMERCIAL guys, not real life. Yes he is a pilot, and though I haven't talked to him about this commerical, I'm sure a story was 'brainstormed' for the commercial. Actually if you listen to it carefully, you'll see that it doesn't even make any sense... just throwing out buzz words like 'line of thunderstorms', 'dispatch', 'atc'... etc.

You can't believe everything you see on TV and you can't take everything you see seriously either. Apple is trying to sell a product... the whole point of the commercial is to make it seem like it's a product you can't live without. Advertising 101...


It's only TV...
 
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