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How do you avoid bridge burning?

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LegacyDriver

Moving Target
Joined
Mar 7, 2004
Posts
1,691
As the world's formost expert on bridge burning I come to you with hat in hand a humble man.

Without being too specific, I may have an opportunity to go to another company in a part of the world that I want to live in. My current employer is *GREAT* and other than domicile requirements, I would be glad to stay put. I don't want to leave the current employer in *any* sort of bind as they have been incredibly good to me. However, I also don't want to be "unreasonably" available for the new gig and possibly lose it.

So here's the question: If accepting the job offer from the new employer would put my current company in a bind I would be hesitant to accept it. However, would that close the door on me ever going there in the future? Am I going to tee off the guys trying to hire me through my loyalty to the current employer? I don't want to burn a bridge at either place...

It's a real quandary.

I appreciate any input.
 
Easy, do what's right for you. I recently had the same problem, and ultimately made the choice to leave. My boss understood because he knew if the situation were reversed (downsizing, etc...) they wouldn"t worry as much about me as I was them.

Good luck, I know it feels hard right now, but remember it's always business. Your CP has been there before.
 
Let me say, I think you're lucky to have two jobs, essentially, both with great companies. I think you probably know that, based upon the tone of your post.

I believe that corporate aviation is probably more about personalities than skills. Not that the skills don't have to be there, but the personalities have to mesh or there will not be a happy marriage between employee and job. It sounds like you have a happy marriage of the two now. Getting to my first point (finally,) make sure that the same level of happyness will exist at this new opportunity. If not, you'll eventually find yourself where you want to be, doing something you don't want to do. It's like marrying for money, it doesn't work out in the end. (wish I could test that though)

Second, based upon your post I'm going to assume that you WILL be a good fit into the new department, and everything will work out great. So how not to burn the bridge? I would professionally approach the company where you are and explain the opportunity. Explain that you don't want to burn the bridge because of the opportunity they have given, respect for them, yada yada. Then ask what they would do, and if they have any ideas that would help you preserve the relationship with them, while allowing you to accept the new position.

Basically, I believe that you can't go wrong with an honest, professional approach. You have to have mentioned your goals at some point while you've been working where you are. My guess is they know you want to move, and are expecting it someday.

As always, my .02. Sorry for the marriage analogy, been drinkin' margeritas by the pool today...
 
Get the job offer in writing, then decide if you really want it. Just be honest with your current employer. They will probably not be happy to lose you, but you can still depart on good terms. It is just business. Give as much notice as you can work out. Try not to hop around too much- it makes you appear fickle, but nothing wrong with changing jobs for good reasons.
 
LegacyDriver said:
As the world's formost expert on bridge burning I come to you with hat in hand a humble man.

Without being too specific, I may have an opportunity to go to another company in a part of the world that I want to live in. My current employer is *GREAT* and other than domicile requirements, I would be glad to stay put. I don't want to leave the current employer in *any* sort of bind as they have been incredibly good to me. However, I also don't want to be "unreasonably" available for the new gig and possibly lose it.

So here's the question: If accepting the job offer from the new employer would put my current company in a bind I would be hesitant to accept it. However, would that close the door on me ever going there in the future? Am I going to tee off the guys trying to hire me through my loyalty to the current employer? I don't want to burn a bridge at either place...

It's a real quandary.

I appreciate any input.

OK, once again, no one here will like this post.



If you are seriously getting life altering advice from an internet forum, you’ve got bigger problems. This is a forum, and by design, is a bunch of unsubstantiated information and opinions. If you want to know opinions about which Learjet flies higher on less fuel, good place. If you want to hear some funny opinions about which bar-b-q is best, look no further. But if you are trying to make a tough decision about ethics and morals, you’d be a fool to listen to this garbage. In a forum you have no idea who you’re talking to and what there background and credentials are. I suggest that you find someone you know and respect and ask their opinion. If you can’t do that, and must hide behind the computer, at least PM some of the posters you like the most and see if they’ll give you a real profile so you can balance what they are saying by where they are coming from.



Whatever you do, take these decisions (the ones that shape who you are and who you are going to be) seriously and get some REAL advice (although I guess if you read the first part of my post you wouldn’t be listening to me now :)



Ace
 
Ace,

I see what you are saying, but you have to understand that bridge burning is not aviation-specific. Regardless the credentials of the member making the post many have faced this problem in other industries. I am looking for something that will at least help me think about this thing in a different light.

I think the posts so far have been very helpful and I appreciate the comments.

I am still at a loss. I tend to be very loyal and that can perhaps be a bad thing if it let's an opportunity get away.

I will just have to keep chewing on this one...
 
I agree with what everyone has said, including Ace, to a degree. I don't see why his post would be unpopular, it's very true.

Where I do disagree with him is the fact that it matters who you get advice from. You may trust your Dad/Brother/Best friend with your life, but they may never have been in this situation before. Their advice would surely be listend to and trusted, but in the end everything you hear from any source is advice. YOU will make the final decision.

I apologigize if my first post seemed to make light of your dilemma. It is a huge decision. I did recently go through the same thing. If you want to PM me as Ace advised I will be more than happy to tell you my story. I would also be more than happy to tell my story on this forum, as I withheld nothing from either job (which is why I'm good with my decision).
 
LegacyDriver said:
I don't want to burn a bridge at either place...


The only real way to not burn bridges, is to get your first job and never leave. Period. Anything else, you always run the risk of someone taking it personally, or thinking that you are not being loyal, no matter how long you stay at the job.


X
 
There is nothing wrong with moving on to another job. It's not like you have a lifetime contract with your current employer. If you do then get it in writing. Sometimes you have no control over the bridge burning concept. Give them the notice you agreed on when you were hired or two weeks and wish them good luck. There are lots of pilots looking for a good job. They should have no problem filling the slot. If simply moving on burns a bridge that's their problem.
 
Much depends on your relationship with your current employer, and your judgement as to how they might react.

One chief pilot I used to work for (and still do occasionally) is very understanding with people moving on because they've found a better fit. He never has hard feelings as long as you're open with him and don't unneccesarily leave on short notice. With a guy like that, you would be best off discussing it with him, and he would probably even give you some sound advice.

On the other hand, I have also worked for guys who believe that if you express any desire to work elsewhere, you should be summarily fired! In a case like that, you are going to burn the bridge no matter what you do.

Most people are somewhere between, but in this industry I see more and more who are like the first guy-- they realize that people are going to move around, and want to make the best of things.

You need to figure out what sort of guy you are working for, and let your strategy flow from that insight. Your best source of advice will probably be your coworkers at your present job.

Good luck!
 

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