he had me at cafeteria plan...

[Swass]

I believe that is a Flexible Spending Acct, or similar to a Health Savings Account, not a cafeteria plan. A cafeteria plan is health insurance which you get the coverage you want, but don't have to pay for coverage you don't need. For example, if you got snipped 15 years ago, why pay for maternity benefits?

Wrong. Cafeteria Plan is referring to the IRS code section 125, which the generic term is Flexible Spending Account (that much is right). HSA's are a different thing altogether.

Depending on your state, and all states are different, you can't opt out of maternity coverage. It's an all or nothing thing, the group administrators pick whether or not you have maternity coverage, check with your state laws (as if anyone is interested in doing so).