Welcome to Flightinfo.com

  • Register now and join the discussion
  • Friendliest aviation Ccmmunity on the web
  • Modern site for PC's, Phones, Tablets - no 3rd party apps required
  • Ask questions, help others, promote aviation
  • Share the passion for aviation
  • Invite everyone to Flightinfo.com and let's have fun

Happy Holidays Notice

Welcome to Flightinfo.com

  • Register now and join the discussion
  • Modern secure site, no 3rd party apps required
  • Invite your friends
  • Share the passion of aviation
  • Friendliest aviation community on the web

PA-44Typed

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 21, 2002
Posts
370
I got this off a web site this morning............

Date: Sat, 7 Dec 2002 09:43:39 -0500

From: Santa Claus

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately,
I will no longer serve the States of Georgia,
Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina,
Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas on
Christmas Eve.

Due to the overwhelming current population of the
earth, my contract was Renegotiated by North
American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of the
new and better contract I also get longer breaks for
milk and cookies so keep that in mind. However, I'm
certain that your children will be in good hands
with your local replacement, who happens to be my
third cousin, Bubba Claus. His side of the family is
from the South Pole. He shares my goal of delivering
toys to all the good boys and girls; however, there
are a few differences between us.

Differences such as:

1.There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your
presents from Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his
sleigh and a bumper sticker that reads: "These toys
insured by Smith and Wesson."

2.Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers
that children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a
moon pie] on the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke
a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please
have an empty spit can handy.

3.Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared,
flyin' coon dogs instead of reindeer. I made the
mistake of loaning him a couple of my reindeer one
time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4.You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and
Blitzen.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll
hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on Elliott and Petty."

5."Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And
you also are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond,
"I her'd dat!"

6.As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus'
sleigh does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on
the back with the words "Back Off."

7.The usual Christmas movie classics such as
"Miracle on 34th Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life"
will not be shown in your negotiated Viewing area.
Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and
"Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds
as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars
crashing into each other.

And Finally,

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you,
I'd make sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the
other way when he bends over to put presents under the tree.

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus

Happy Holidays!
 
Ok,

This hits so close to home, I'm not certain if I should cry or laugh.

My family tree certainly has our share of "rednecks". They're the salt of the earth folks, but when I get offered Possum as a dinner meat, we hit the door.

Happy landings,
 
YESSSS! Too bad I get to sit reserve in the snow up in ORD on Christmas! :D By the way, I would recommend to Bubba Claus to skip the southeast coast of Florida south of Lake Okeechobee entirely except for the good folks in the town of Davie!
 
Sorry, my Chicago brother, but Bubba Claus is a true Southern Gentleman, and is way above Pay For Training! :)
 
Scope and P-F-T

I guess the Regional Clauses (RCs) will be flying the routes that Mainline Claus won't fly because he only flies sleighs that carry more than 70 presents!

I heard that Rudolph P-F-T'd, which is why the other reindeer wouldn't let him play reindeer games. Another reason is that he P-F-T'd at Gulfstream. :)
 
Actually I think this points to the encroachment of the LCCs, or the Low Class Clauses; which are of course stealing the business of the full service clauses with their fancy frequent do-gooder programs and 1st class present delivery.
 

Latest resources

Back
Top