Good First Officer

[bobbysamd]

Hey, Albie

That way when this bombastic SOB you could buy and sell flying but for a few years and line numbers pontificates on why his flying, his career, his choice of domicile, or his choice for dinner is SO ABOLUTELY RIGHT you can quietly nod your head, feign the respect he so desparately craves, and daydream about your next BFM hop with the boys. $200 bucks an hour may buy you a lot of toys, but it won't stop you from being a jerk. (emphasis added) My personal favorite type of Capt is the one who says "you MUST try this resturarant tonight....it is outstanding.." after spending 2.5 hours regailing his 401k, his real estate deals, and his MD wife's salary. He drags your new hire butt into the most expensive joint within walking distance of the hotel and then greats the waiter with his first words...."can we get separate checks please?"

Great post! I love it!! I can just imagine the type of guy you wrote about. Sure sums up what makes a bad Captain!!

 

[Timebuilder]

Oh, garcon...I'll have the icewater, with a twist...

 

[supsup]

relationships

Illini,
On your post replace the word Captain with WIFE, replace the word First Officer with HUSBAND. It should now sound pretty familiar to anybody married, or a warning to anyone thinking about it. It is amazing how are roles change from day to day.

supsup

 

[nightrider]

What it takes to be a good f.o?

Questions to avoid:

1.) With your weight problem will you be getting out of flying soon?

2.)Is this your first landing in this aircraft?

3.) Was your wife always that fat?

4.) Is this your name on the scablist?

5.) Are you sure those are your kids?

6.) I don't eat pork! So can you take the fat one?

7.) I sure hope they keep the age 60 retirement! Don't you?

 

[LearLove]

this one too..........

"And...95% of the dudes I've met are great....but one FE said to me the other day "the worst part of being an airline pilot is I have to work around all these *(&% airline pilots!". I laughed out loud at that one. One long trip with a jerk on the cockpit is enough to make his point. "

A friend of mine once told me:

"if you want to attract a bunch a$$holes just put up a windsock, pave a runway and sit around and wait"

If your looking for a lond trip or month for that matter come on up to Allegheny and fly with the Allentown captains. some of us ex abe f/o's have lasting dents in our heads from beating them against the cockpit window because of these a$$holes. What made it worse was the it was a small base (about 30 capts. and 30 f/o's) so your chances of getting the same jerk month after month are high. It happened to me several times. back then one of the crew schedulers asked why i dropped trips and picked up others that gave me less pay or days off, i told her that i was trying to get away from the jerk(s) and she said that i wasn't the only one. the poor ABE reserve f/o's always got/get stuck with the a$$holes. I wonder if these guys ever think that something must be up as they never fly a full month with the same f/o. the experience tought me what not to do when i finally upgraded.

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Hey,
As a fairly senior F/O all of the above are good info.
In addition to the above it may help to have:
the patience of Job,
the diplomacy of H. Kissinge
the knowledge of everything aviation.
and even then this may not be enough if you have the misfortune to bid with a Capt. who has 15+ years with the company and "was lucky enough to only have had to be an F/O for 6mos, 14.5 years ago"
30 days can be an eternit
ola

 

[PBRstreetgang]

Hey,
Lost a "R" and a "Y" in the translation
ola

 

[CatYaaak]

Advise, assist, and relax...........and smile (remember, you are sitting in the "Glory Seat" if the old codger keels over at the controls)

 

[EOpilot]

The three Captain callouts, "Gear Up, Flaps Up, Shut Up"

Also, my two favorites about the 727:

Do you know why this plane needs a First Officer? Required bird strike protection for the Flight Engineer.

Have you heard about the new two pilot conversion for the 727? Remove the right seat and make the gear handle longer.


But seriously, the essay question for the written test at the interview I just attended was, "What makes a good Captain?" So I wrote what I thought made a good Captain, then at the end I mentioned what makes a great Captain. Which included buying the occasional dinner and giving the FO a leg or two.

 

[CatYaaak]

<<EOpilot writes:

Also, my two favorites about the 727:

Do you know why this plane needs a First Officer? Required bird strike protection for the Flight Engineer.

Have you heard about the new two pilot conversion for the 727? Remove the right seat and make the gear handle longer.>>

And in that same vein (in jest)....

The scariest words you can hear on the flight deck of a 727?

An FE saying "Uh Oh!"
A Captain's saying "Watch this!"
A First Officer saying "Hey, I've got an idea".