Come on, guys... Be serious...
Here is the process....
The interview starts at about 8 AM... A small man, wearing glasses and a long white jacket, greets you and takes you to a small room, where there are pictures of smiling pilots in sharp creased uniforms, aviator shades on and polished brass... The guy is joined by a small ET looking guy, who has a penchant for rubbing your shoulders.... They start off by asking you if you enjoy flying, have ever molested your neighbors chihuahua, and if wearing womens undergarments is against your code of ethics... They laugh heartily at that, saying if you had ethics, what the hell would you be doing here..??? The written is pretty easy..The only hard question was to come up with synonyms for anal penetration. I got 4, all from reading the tsa lounge and what the pilots there feel like they are getting done to them... Then, the simulator broke, and the ET looking guy said it was OK, we would "simulate" the simulator, at which point he pulled me onto his lap and made airplane sounds with his mouth, all the while rubbing my shoulders... After I "shot" an approach, we all went back and I was told then and there I got the job.... They are telling us that the upgrade is only weeks away, and that we should have 737-800's for United, as well as all of Chataqua's flying by the end of summer....As I left, I saw the little ET guy getting on a seatless bicycle, and bouncing all the way out of the training center.... I think I am going to like it here.....