Funny things overheard on the radio

[junkjockey]

This was Late at night.
Unidentified voice: I am F***** Bored
Center: Aircraft say your tale #
Unidentified Voice: I said I was F**** Bored, not F***** Stupid!

 

[junkjockey]

Vero Tower: Gulfstream XXX, slow speed on final, traffic is a piper 1 mile out.
Gulfstream XXX: Roger
few seconds go by
Vero Tower: Gulfstream XXX, Go around, traffic still on the runway
Gulfstream XXX (Extremely Angry): THIS GO AROUND IS GONNA COST US $1000!!
Vero Tower: Ya know what, lets make it $2000, extend downwind, you were a student pilot once!

 

[flyinlow67]

Heard the other day on approach:
ATC to King Air: You are cleared for the LOC BC Rwy 20
Slight pause
King Air: Um, we're not equipped for a LOC BC, can we get the ILS to Rwy 2 instead?
We about died laughing!

 

[coloneldan]

I was on my way to LUK one afternoon many years ago. It was rough at all altitudes so naturally, everybody wanted to know where the smooth air was. Cincinnati Center called an American flight and asked how the ride was at his altitude. He said, "It's as rough as a stucco bathtub."

Another good from American several months later was, "It's as rough as burlap underwear." I wouldn't be surprised if it was the same guy.

I'm not sure where you would find those discriptions in the AIM, but they sure did let everybody know it was rough.

 

[macpilot]

continetal express is taxing out to 15L at IAH with a Continental 767 behind him.

Tower: Expresss Jet XXXX can you except an intersection take off

Express Jet: Negative, we would like the entire length this afternoon

767: What's the problem, a little RJ cant make an intersection takeoff!

Express Jet: To heavy today, we got your wife on board.

 

[macpilot]

Controller: Alaska 257 say mach number.

Alaska: Mach number!

 

[minitour]

Express Jet: To heavy today, we got your wife on board.

ZING!

-mini

 

[Tim47SIP]

I got one!

On the La Grange arrival into ATL several years ago a United 777 was in front of us and the controller asked if the aircraft was a 777. The female FO stated "why yes, it is brand new, this is one of the first flights". Someone on the freq stated "crap, a brand new aircraft and there is already a crack in the seat".
The radio went dead for about 1 minute (way long for ATL center) and then Buzz got on there and stated " well then, lets get back to business". I thought is was hilarious! :laugh: