Funny things overheard on the radio

[Lear Wanna Be]

On Tulsa tower 6/8/06: Tulsa tower, SWA 2574 (while on taxi out to the runway), uh.....what's that vehicle doing on the runway?

Tower: He is out there doing a FOD check. They do it every morning.

SWA 2574: Oh, OK, how fast does that guy go?

Vehicle: Tower, tell him we are looking for Southwest parts.

SWA 2574: Us too, let us know if you find any.



Later that day at BKL: Lakefront Ground PCE 3315 IFR EWR.

BKL ground: PCE 3315 there is a ground stop for EWR.

PCE 3315: Any idea how long we can expect?

BKL ground: PCE 3315 you are on an indefinite hold since Oakland won today.

Apparently Pace was flying the Oakland A's, which had just beaten the Indians.


What have you heard???

 

[VNugget]

Salinas traffic, Cessna 1992E crosssing, uhhhh.... the other runway, Salinas

 

[mpepe]

ORD center: Speedbird whatever, direct London.
Speedbird whatever: Direct London, thanks, speedbird whatever.
two minutes go by then...........
Speedbird whatever: Uhhh, Chicago center did you mean London England or London Ontario for Speedbird whatever?
ORD center: Ontario.
Speedbird whatever: Oh bloody.

 

[Groucho]

Aircraft #1 "Ahhhh ground please repeat your breaking up and fuzzy.

Female controller: "United is my transmission fuzzy?"

United: "I don't know honey, how old are you?"

 

[minitour]

Duchess: Ground, Duchess 1234M off 35 taxi Airman.

Ground: Duchess 1234M taxi to the ramp hold short of Runway 3

*a few minutes go by as I clear the ramp and taxi out to runway 3, do a runup, some checklist items, chit chat with the instructor, you know..the whole drill*

Ground: Duchess 34M sorry, just hang out for one more minute I have two arrivals to squeeze in here.

Duchess: No problem...I'm easy like a 16 year old prom date.

 

[TrafficInSight]

Salinas traffic, Cessna 1992E crosssing, uhhhh.... the other runway, Salinas

N3151E: "Watsonville traffic Cessna 1992E on a 45 for left downwind 20 watsonville"
N1992E: "You're 3151E."
N3151E: "Oh yeah..."
N1992E: "Watsonville traffic Cessna 1992E behind 51E on a 45 for left downind 20 watsonville."
.... time passes ...
N3151E: "Watsonville traffic Cessna 92E left downwind 20 watsonville."
N1992E: "You're still 51E"
N3151E: "Doh"
N1992E: "Watsonville traffic Cessna 92E left downwind 20 behind 51E watsonville."
.... a little more time passes ...
N3151E: "Watsonville traffic 92E left base 20 watsonville."
N1992E: "Whatever... Watsonville traffic 3151E left base 20 Watsonville."

 

[MFRskyknight]

We had an airshow going on today, so things were pretty hectic for the tower. I'm down in the line shack, I hear the following in the midst of all this commotion:

Dork: "Medford Tower, Pacer 1234, 5 miles east of the airport, uh, just to let you know, looks like a balloon from the car dealership got away here, it's about 6,000 and slowly climbing."

Tower: ".......okaaaaaaay....uhhh, thanks for the report."

MFR

 

[unreal]

From a friend of mine:

LA center: "Southwest 427, say mach."
Southwest: "0.76"
LA center: "United 1075, say mach."
United: "0.82"
LA center: "Cessna 5734G, say mach."
Cessna: "Uhhh...0.1?"
Unidentified voice: "Haha, good one kid."

 

[dsee8driver]

While taxiing in Miami for takeoff.....

Tower: CO1234 Contact departure.
CO1234: Can we get off the runway first???

 

[siucavflight]

We had an airshow going on today, so things were pretty hectic for the tower. I'm down in the line shack, I hear the following in the midst of all this commotion:

Dork: "Medford Tower, Pacer 1234, 5 miles east of the airport, uh, just to let you know, looks like a balloon from the car dealership got away here, it's about 6,000 and slowly climbing."

Tower: ".......okaaaaaaay....uhhh, thanks for the report."

MFR

I dont see the humor, please help.