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olympus593

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 22, 2005
Posts
568
Real transcript from May 22nd Crew News Session with Doug Parker in the CLT Training Center:
Topic: Piedmont + Equipment
Pfiefle: MynameisJohnPfiefleI'maseniorcheckairmanwithPiedmontairlinesandnowIwillspeakathtespeedoflight
Parker: Well, th-
Pfiefle: lakfjafoiejrflhdflahdflsjafslsaiwoifewjoief
Parker: What I said was, there are no negotiations with manufactu
Pfiefle: Lkjflflsfoiejfoiajfldflsakfjaoiewurfjoiwejfoiej
Parker: rers, and I'm sorry if
Pfiefle: lakflaijfoiuflkjsafoiwjfoijewfoiejfoi
Parker: ... it seems like you're head's about to explode. Uhh, sir?
Pfiefle: lakfjdljflkfj BOOOOOOOO


This is your Lav Wall Union update for May 31, 2007 there are four items in this update:
Item 1. Crew News Session. For those of you who aren't aware, Doug E. Fresh, CEO of US Airways attended a crew news session in CLT this past week, where he wholly denied and we quote, "to replace, to change up the wholly owned equipment right now." Apparently someone forgot to clue Doug in, on our little company conspiracy spearheaded by Mr. Pharoah and Mr. M&M's. At this point in time, all communication with the company regarding new equipment has ceased.
Item 2. Sign on Bonues. We here at your Lav Wall Union are 100% against giving the $5000 bonus for new hires. For many years our pilots have sacrificed days off, quality of life, and countless hours negotiating what we believe to be a fair contract and we will not let the company fix THEIR problems by bypassing our working agreement. Please welcome all new hires to the property, as you will see them soon on line. They will be the one's with the gold necklaces and rolex's.
Item 3. Premium Pay. As you are all well aware during the month of may, the company approached the association inquiring about our participation in an incentive program to promote picking up of open flying. We agreed (for nothing in return by the way) and some of you were able to participate in the "program" Those pilots will also be wearing rolex's, but their necklaces will be titanium. The company did not approach us for the month of june, because as stated in the May 19 Ask Dumpmont Mr. Srubbubbles stated that "at this time we do not forsee the premium pay incentive carrying into june." Low and Behold on May 30, the company without our consent, extended the program and because of that, we are asking all pilots to please refrain from picking up open time, until an agreement can be reached with the company regarding their intentional and deceptive acts. Apparently during their other SCHEME to trick the pilot's Mr. Scrububbles and Mr. Pharoah forgot that we are the sole bargaining agents for any pay issue or work rule related matter, by FEDERAL LAW (Railway labor act of 1931), and the company cannot bypass current working agreements.
Item 4. Joke. Please remember that this is a joke this is only a joke, but wouldn't it be GREAT if our union actually had B*LLS LIKE THIS!
 
Thanks for a good laugh this morning. Most of the news sucks, but at least it is presented funny.
 
"And now I will speak at the speed of light."

Ain't that the truth! I think I once heard him finish a sentence four minutes before he started it.

That's hilarious.
 
"You note the time the wheels hit the runway, not the time you taxi off"! "Do you want me to take that $40 out of your paycheck"?
 
"You note the time the wheels hit the runway, not the time you taxi off"! "Do you want me to take that $40 out of your paycheck"?

Had a line check by Peda-pfiefle one time when he pulled that B.S. $40 line on my F.O. When we got to the gate I pulled out two 20's and went to hand them to him. But, then I stopped, looked at the clock and said, "Looks like we're 10 minutes under block and 5 minutes under flight time, I think you owe me $200." All he could tell me was that I signed my name too small in the a/c logbook.
 
Had a line check by Peda-pfiefle one time when he pulled that B.S. $40 line on my F.O. When we got to the gate I pulled out two 20's and went to hand them to him. But, then I stopped, looked at the clock and said, "Looks like we're 10 minutes under block and 5 minutes under flight time, I think you owe me $200." All he could tell me was that I signed my name too small in the a/c logbook.

Thats hilarious! it sounds like vintage pfiefle! it sounds like he was speechless! good job!
 
"You note the time the wheels hit the runway, not the time you taxi off"! "Do you want me to take that $40 out of your paycheck"?

It's up to $40 now? It was $30 back when he cackled at me about it.
 
Lav wall...hehehehe

that's what most airline pilots contracts are written on...with dry-erase markers!

(the following editorial is not directed specifically at any airline, rather at the industry as a whole)

I've been kind of wondering of late how many upper management position annual paycecks would it take to fully crew one or two aircraft. After all it is the movement of aircraft that provides revenue seat miles-not posteriors in cushy chairs in offices generating an endless stream of inane memos!
 
Last edited:
we're getting paint! paint i say!!! paiinnnntttttttt
 

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