Fun with ACARS Messages

[shooter]

I got an LTD "delay code" one day. I scoured through the delay codes trying to find out what it meant and found nothing. So, as I'm about to send him a message asking what LTD stood for, he sends me this....Lady Taking Dump. He was serious too. When I check what the station coded it to, it said "PAX USING LAV".....

aahhh, the wonderful unpredictable bowels. Poor lady. Not good timing to break when waiting for over an hour after going through security. Not good timing to break when they start boarding to get at least 15 mins of relief. You have to break when everyone has boarded and then not be able to wait for push back, taxi and departure through 10k and thats if its a calm day today good ole mr.bowels. I too once had mr.bowels take his vengance upon me. I was lucky to not be in an airplane, but rather on a lone desolate stretch of highway where there was not a sign of civilization (much less a functioning restroom) for at least 30 miles in each direction. I even asked the Charmin bear for his stash while out in those woods, but he just kept walking. <<that bastard>> After that one time, I never never never question ones need to use the restroom and who may be inconvenienced by it. Sometimes mother nature does not care about what schedule others may be on. And if you don't answer when she comes calling, everyone could be in a whole lot worse scenario than just a few minutes late departure.

Funny code by the pilot, but poor lady.

 

[RJAA]

Last week, a captain on the way to India sent me a ACARS message saying that he could not stand and wait for the final results of "Dancing with the Stars" on TV and he requested the results to be uplinked over Eastern Europe in the middle of the night. Unreal. Didn't know where to look as I am not interested in that sort of a show. Some old lonely guy.

 

[dispatchguy]

Or, one of the F/As in the back, or even a pax, might wanna know - may not be the captain.

I know I wouldnt know where to obtain some useless drivel ahem information

 

[RVSM]

My fav is when they ask "what's the score of the game".
Do they want basketball, football or baseball...I dunno.
I usually send either Hockey or English Soccer score until they ask for specifics

 

[Wiggums]

Last week, a captain on the way to India sent me a ACARS message saying that he could not stand and wait for the final results of "Dancing with the Stars" on TV and he requested the results to be uplinked over Eastern Europe in the middle of the night. Unreal. Didn't know where to look as I am not interested in that sort of a show. Some old lonely guy.

Here this will help you. Welcome to the Internets.