Fun exchange between ATC or Tower

[mudkow60]

What is the funniest thing tower or ATC has said to you? Or back to them? Just curious...

I was transitioning thru airspace along the beach once in a Navy H-3 (which is pretty old). The tower asked if the Navy still flys H-3's. I said NO.

 

[LAXSaabdude]

Originally posted by mudkow60 The tower asked if the Navy still flys H-3's. I said NO.

Guess you had to be there?

LAXSaabdude.

 

[j41driver]

Absolutely hilarious....

 

[TEXAN AVIATOR]

Guess you had to be there?

LAXSaabdude.

LOL

I was at KSLC at about 12am flying approaches and doing TNGs. Back when I was working on my Commercial. So I'm doing a touch in go and on the downwind tower says "Katana XXXXX extend downwind for Geronimo on final; clear touch and go." I say, Uhhhh... he's not going to generate much wake is he?" He started laughing at me and joked with me for the next few hours.

He thought it was funny..



Fly safe,
TA

 

[Ted Striker]

Heard at DFW last night...

"Ground Eagle XXX at spot 4 aaand I just dropped the ATIS on the floor."

"Eagle XXX, DFW ground, pick up ATIS Mike off the floor and taxi to Runway 17R."

 

[ThomasMore]

Orlando Approach Control has to handle some of the toughest airspace in the country. In addition to Orlando International (MCO), Orlando Sanford (SFB) also has air carrier arrivals. Orlando FSDO also awards 15% of all pilot certificates given by the FAA in any given year -- it is student-pilot central. Add to that the thousands of transients who buzz through the area on any given day. The airspace is chaotic, but somehow the Orlando controllers handle it all with aplomb.

Back in 2000, a buddy of mine and I instructed at Comair Academy (now Delta Connection Academy). The academy is based at Sanford, which sat under a 1,600' Class B shelf. Five miles north of us was a 3,000' Class B shelf. MCO arrivals from the north descended over our heads.

My buddy heard this on frequency (the tail number has been changed to protect the guilty)...

Aircraft: "Orlando Approach, Cessna 12345 over Sanford Airport at 4,500 feet. Request clearance into Class B."

Orlando Approach: (slight pause) "Uhh, aircraft calling, say again?"

Cessna 12345: "Cessna 12345 is 4,500 feet over Sanford Airport. We request clearance into Class B Airspace."

Orlando Approach: "Cessna 12345, we can't clear you into Class B airspace...you are already inside Class B."

Cessna 12345: (coming back quickly) "Cessna 345 is five miles NORTH of Sanford at 4,500 feet, request clearance into Class B."

(This would place him inside the 3,000' shelf instead of the 1,600' shelf, so his problem has not been solved.)

Orlando Approach: "Cessna 12345, are you over Sanford at 4,500 feet, or are you five miles north of Sanford at 4,500 feet?"

Cessna 12345: "How far north do we have to be?"

...

...

...

...

...

When everything was sorted out, it turned out that the wayward Cessna was nowhere near Sanford or the Class B airspace. But until then, I can only imagine the excitement in the radar room as the controllers scrambled, looking for the blundering Cessna among the landing MD-80s and 757s.

 

[LearLove]

Not really funny but I was down at DCA this afternoon and as we were taxiing to parking an AA guy called to push and used "Regan ground" in his call. The controller was like "who called me Regan? If that was AA #### you now have a ground stop to ORD".

 

[Dash8]

'syr clearance, alg XXXX to lga with mike'

"alg XXXX cleared to rikers island internatonal via......."

 

[NuGuy]

Hi all,

Flying out of MIA during one summer back when Eagle flew Shorts out of there.

Miami Dep: Eagle XXXX, please expidite climb.

Eagle XXXX: Sir, we're doing the best we can...we have a load in our Shorts today.

Again with the Shorts, this time out of CLT:

CLT Approach: USAir XXX, your traffic is a Carolina Shorts on a 7 mile final.

USAir XXX: Yes sir, we had 'em, but we lost 'em over the trailer park.

Best,
Nu

 

[Super 80]

an AA guy called to push and used "Regan ground" in his call.

Tis true, we love to say "Reagan" and the controllers for obviously sentimental reasons going back to the strike, absolutely hate it.

One of my favorites heard years ago on ORD approach on a fairly nice day but with extra long finals going out 15-20 miles:

"What's our sequence?"

ORD APP: "If I find out who you are it's last."

 

[Prof. ATP]

"Cessna XXX, when able...disregard."

Departing Burlington, VT for Newark: "Have a good flight to squirrel land."

"Traffic is a Seneca taxiing for departure..."

"Traffic 12 o'clock, 6 miles, 1000 above, opposite direction, a B-17." Five minutes later "Traffic 12 o'clock, 6 miles, 1000 above, opposite direction, a B-29." Me: "What year is this, anyway?"

 

[xjcaptain]

Heard over MSP approach a while back:

Flagship "....." checking on level 7000.

Approach: Flagship say airspeed.

Flagship "...." "300".

Approach: "Flagship SAY airspeed"

Flagship "...." "300".

Approach: Ahh.....O.K.

(I liked the confirmation for the tapes!) Oops!

 

[hovermode]

CRJ Heavy

Several years ago ATL had some construction on the approach end of 27R. We did not had the runway data for the intersection M18. We requested back taxi for full length. A 767 replied "Chandler, a little heavy today?" we replied "Yeah, your wife is on board". You could have heard a pin drop.

 

[TR4A]

Many years back at Reese AFB, Lubbock TX. T-38 was on cross-country last leg from Dyess AFB, Abilene TX. There were practice areas to the southeast of Lubbock called POST, GAIL and LAMESA. The recovery was the POKER Recovery.

T38: Ft Worth Center, request to enter GAIL from the rear then POKER.

Ft Worth Center: Ah, cleared as requested.

 

[Bandit60]

On a flight to my home base, i contacted approach(I knew him personally, he was a steelers fan). I told him my heading and alt.
He asked how I was doing and I said the Rams played a heck of a game the other day. (Rams killed the Steelers).

Controller come backs on the radio and says "Nxxxxxx you had to go there....this will be vectors for controller amusement."

 

[roundout]

one busy day at GFK, i heard ground give an advisory to a taxiing aircraft about a "herd of warriors" heading his way. thought that was pretty funny.

 

[LXApilot]

Been listening to ATC for about 15 years and was a hobby of mine even way before I started flying... ORD has got my vote for #1 airport for funny ATC conversations. Here are a few I remember:

After landing on 27L at ORD we were clearing at Tango and had to jam on the brakes to stop behind a long line of airplanes all the way down to Alpha 9 on Bravo. Inbound ground was going nuts trying to get everyone clearing 27L down to Terminal 1 and 2 but the taxiway was blocked. Heard the following transmissions;

"USAir **** what seems to be the problem down there? You've got the taxiway blocked and nobody can get around you and we cant taxi people down Tango because of the departures from tango 10."

"Yeah, sorry about that ground, we had a heck of a time getting started and it took a few extra minutes. Dont know if you want to hear this or not but the tug has pushed us out the wrong way and they have already left and gone back inside. We cant taxi this way without backing up and we cant do that."

".................... I'll tell ya what................ on my drive home today I'll drive my car down Chicago and stop right in the middle of the of the road where it meets Michigan and get out and walk around in rushhour traffic and when somebody asks me to move my car I'll just shrug my shoulders and stand around in the intersection."

Fall of 2001 @ ORD

"O'Hare ground, Continental ****...."
"Whos that calling ground?"
"Continental ****."
"What?"
"Well we were told 120 minutes for wheels up to Newark and its been about 140 minutes or so and still no word on anything for us. We need to return to the gate. Whats all the delay?"
"Because you are going to Newark. And as far as the gate goes, I'll give you the frequency for United ops and if you can have them get all those other 20 airplanes in front of you to start up and move someplace, then we'll get you to the gate, but it doesnt look like you are going anywhere, so why not just shut em down?"

Just a few weeks ago @ ORD
On Ground metering:
"Metering, Delta **** pushed off of gate ** with November."
"Delta ****, Metering good evening. Looks like 22L tonight. You can monitor ground."
"Thanks."
On Outbound ground:
-controller is busy with a lot of airplanes
"Ground, Delta **** coming up on the east end of the alleyway with November."
-controller ignores this transmission and keeps talking to many other airplanes
"Ground, Delta ****."
-controller again ignores Delta
"Ground, this is Delta **** to taxi with November."
"Delta ****, O'Hare ground. What part about monitor ground don't you understand. This isnt Atlanta..... 22L tonight taxi via Alpha, Alpha 20, Bravo, Delta 1, Mike 5, Mike, and Delta."
"Okay, we'll taxi to 22L... could you say those instructions again?"
"No I cant. If you arent ready to taxi then dont call metering. Switch back to them and then when you are ready you can monitor this frequency."

And my personal favorite: Labor Day of 2000 - LGA Ground ... departures are just launching after a one hour ground stop due to weather west of the city in the departure corridors. We are stopped with engines shut down on the west end of the airport. They are departing 13 and landing 22. An American tug with a 757 in tow is just passing the intersection where inbound airplanes are turning into the ramp and outbound airplanes are lined up to get out.

"American tug # **** with the 757, any chance you guys can speed it up a little? You've got a lot of airplanes taxiing behind you for that ramp you are passing, and a few more waiting to come out."
"Yes'sir... appologies, but if you can see this smoke from the tower then you know that our tug has just died."
"your tug did what?"
"our tug died. looks like we aren't going anywhere fast."
"...................................................................... cant you push it or something?"

 

[efiscompmon]

Student lands a PA34 a little hot midway down a 5000' runway...

"Senecca 6PP, left turn off the end if able, contact ground"

 

[Lrjtcaptain]

Im working ground control the other day and had this Gulfstream calling for departure on my freq. I kept telling him, GulfstreamXXX, your still on ground, contact tower for you departutre.

Tower, GulfstreamXXX at rwy14 ready to go.
GulfstreamXXX, hold short, landing traffic
Tower, TalorcraftXXXXX holding short of 14 ready for takeoff.
TalorcraftXXXX position and hold runway 14.

a minute passes, GulfstreamXXX, runway 14 position and hold, traffic a taylor craft on the upwind should be turning westbound shortly.

Ah, tower, any reason the taylorcraft got cleared for takeoff before us?

TWR-I like yellow better! ---without missing a beat---

----obviously he forgot the sequence. it happens everyonce in a while.

 

[minitour]

the other day

Just the other day my instructor and I doing TNG's with a C130 in the pattern

Tower
"...do you see the Cessna turning Crosswind"

"...yeah, we've got the Cessna"

"okay, miss him, turn 270 and contact departure"