"From The Flight Deck"..

[snap145]

ok its official..im bored...im sitting at home (on reserve), cant go very far....something to pass the time....please everyone...share with me your rendition of the worst PA anouncements youve ever heard....please remember im bored!


annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd GO....

 

[Headfake14]

On accident, I said Assville on the PA instead of Ashville once going into AVL. I don't think they could tell the difference, but I knew it and tried to keep from laughing during the rest of the PA

 

[Tomct]

:laugh:If you want to really make people MAD, while flying into XNA, I called it Fayetville. Man, while everyone was getting off the airplane, I was INFORMED 50 times that it is "Bentonville", NOT Fayetville, Arkansas!

 

[CF34-3B1]

:laugh:If you want to really make people MAD, while flying into XNA, I called it Fayetville. Man, while everyone was getting off the airplane, I was INFORMED 50 times that it is "Bentonville", NOT Fayetville, Arkansas!

When we first started going in there after switching from Drake Field, we got a memo saying we were supposed to call it "The Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport, serving the Fayetteville and Bentonville areas."

I did a PA calling it the N.W. Arkansas regional airport, serving Fayetteville, Bentonville, HighFill, and pretty much everything else between Tulsa and Fort Smith."

One of the passengers (who knew how) actually wrote a letter over it.

 

[Tomct]

When we first started going in there after switching from Drake Field, we got a memo saying we were supposed to call it "The Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport, serving the Fayetteville and Bentonville areas."

I did a PA calling it the N.W. Arkansas regional airport, serving Fayetteville, Bentonville, HighFill, and pretty much everything else between Tulsa and Fort Smith."

One of the passengers (who knew how) actually wrote a letter over it.

Sounds about RIGHT!! Nothing better to do than critique the person that visits about 30 different cities a month!! How's SWA? I know....LUVin LIFE RIGHT!

 

[CF34-3B1]

Sounds about RIGHT!! Nothing better to do than critique the person that visits about 30 different cities a month!! How's SWA? I know....LUVin LIFE RIGHT!

It's everything you hear.

By comparison, it makes me feel like I didn't just quit ASA, I got paroled.

 

[whaleroast]

I think the worst announcements are the ones you really put your heart and soul into...you know a five minute monologue that you wrote up on the back of the toll card or something and after you get done, the FA calls you and says she didn't understand a single word you said because the PA sucks.

 

[Hawaiiansmurf]

Didn't you mean "From the Cockpit" ?

 

[flysafe]

We don't get paid enough to make PA's, who cares!

 

[SBD]

On one of my IOE flights we were descending into the airport and the Captain decided to tell the folks in the back about the weather and other info. During his announcement we get a message on the ED-1 and while he is still making his announcement, "Aw sh*t why is it doing that?" I looked over to him with that stare. After he realized what he did, he just looked over to me and started laughing his ass off. 10 seconds later the FA called us and said that half the plane just went into hysteria. We laughed it off and he bought me dinner that night and told me even the old guys make mistakes sometimes.

 

[The_Russian]

I got two for ya:

Once I said Palm Biatch instead of Palm Beach. FO almost threw up his lunch laughing.

Another time I had a buddy that is a C130 Nav in the back deadheading back to EYW. I told everyone that he was the first pilot to go past Mach 3 in the SR71 Blackbird. (Because no one knows the x-15 anymore) Everyone started clapping and shaking his hand. His face was red as a beet!

 

[Flyer1015]

Once I said Palm Biatch instead of Palm Beach. FO almost threw up his lunch laughing.

That's very cruel of you. Your F/O is already out $30k, and you're making him waste his food !

 

[Flyer1015]

I got two for ya:

Once I said Palm Biatch instead of Palm Beach. FO almost threw up his lunch laughing.

Another time I had a buddy that is a C130 Nav in the back deadheading back to EYW. I told everyone that he was the first pilot to go past Mach 3 in the SR71 Blackbird. (Because no one knows the x-15 anymore) Everyone started clapping and shaking his hand. His face was red as a beet!

Got a third one for ya,

" Ah, folks, from the flight deck here... We regret we have to cancel our flight today, our first officer's check for $30k bounced. "

 

[AV1ATRX]

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight xxxx with service to CORPUS CRISPY."

When the FA called up front, we could hear all the people laughing in the back.

 

[jimcav]

As long as you dont say f$%k, fire, late, or lost over the pa it's a good one.

 

[Northern Lights]

Have you ever been the victim or instigator of a PA prank?

I remember flying with a very conservative, by the book type captain, and half way through my announcement he pulls out a picture of a nekkid lady and just smiles at me! I did manage to finish without totally derailing.

 

[OPECJet]

Told everyone to ring the flight attendant if there was anything we could do to make then more miserable on their fligh to Bloanoke.

 

[Stifler's Mom]

I had a certain ATR instructor pick up the intercom, and rip the loudest fart while I was making my PA. :blush: The passengers couldn't hear it, but I could. I had to stop and gather myself before continuing.

That lucky SOB is now flying boxes out of ANC for FedEx.

What's up I.L.? (if you're out there in flighinfo land):beer:

 

[chperplt]

Folks, I understand many of you are wondering where we are. We're right here in the flight deck.....

 

[Thedude]

The cockpit....what is it?

 

[arthompson]

A room at the front where the pilots sit, but thats not important right now.

 

[Terrain Terrain]

just say "dirka dirka mohomad jihad" they will love that!

 

[Headfake14]

Have you ever been the victim or instigator of a PA prank?

I remember flying with a very conservative, by the book type captain, and half way through my announcement he pulls out a picture of a nekkid lady and just smiles at me! I did manage to finish without totally derailing.

Druring my PA a few months back on the ATRah, my FO grabbed on the loose end of my lap belt and YANKed...Imagine a sound expelling from your trachea thats a cross between an Army "hooyaa" and a dry heav...ON the PA.:laugh:

 

[Headfake14]

As long as you dont say f$%k, fire, late, or lost over the pa it's a good one.

...all in the same PA?

 

[CrownandCoke]

just say "dirka dirka mohomad jihad" they will love that!

or play a recording of an AK-47 being fired in the air and scream ALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA

Drink up

 

[cfdoubleeye]

Tears man.... streaming tears from my eyes after finishing this thread. Thanks for the reserve day entertainment!!!!!

 

[Hawaiiansmurf]

"cockpit"

 

[OPECJet]

"ichy Ichy Ichy Pting... Whoop Wheee...."

 

[SE-30]

dirka dirka mohomad jihad!

LOLOL!

 

[Tri-holer]

Just the standard well-rehearsed monologue given on the #1 radio. The captain said, "I was kind of wondering why I could hear your announcement so clearly." His comment was right after ATC saying "nice rehearsal, now try it on the passengers in the back." OOOOPPS. At least it was at cruise and the radio was quiet. I know no one else has ever done anything so stupid.

Oh wait, I guess at least one other person has. A couple of weeks ago, when weather was causing many problems, ATC was handing out holding instructions left and right. On comes this professional voice with a fairly long explanation of why they were holding, what the weather was doing, how late they were expecting to be, etc. It seemed like it lasted forever and the controller did not sound real pleased.