"From The Flight Deck"..

[shamrock]

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight xxxx with service to CORPUS CRISPY."

I can't believe I just read this! I have some sort of mental block that keeps me from saying Corpus Christi properly and that's how it come out when I do a PA. Who would have thought the name Corpus Christi would be a tongue twister.

I usually end up laughing at myself as I finish the PA but I don't think the passengers notice.

 

[FmrFreightDog]

I flew a whole month with a guy who would start moaning and rubbing his nipples whenever I started to talk over the PA just to see if I could make it through without losing it. Once or twice it made for a good gag, but then it just started to freak me out a little.

 

[4fanman]

Don't say penis don't say penis don't say penis don't say penis don't say penis don't say penis. This works best when going to places like PIT and PNS.

Gotta be careful with Regina as well.

 

[Z28_Pilot]

I usually like to type things into the FMS scratchpad like "DONT SAY FVCK" or "QUIT LYING TO THE PAX" or "SMELLY PIRATE HOOKER" etc. and then point at it frantically until they look.....actually had one guy just throw the mic and give up because he was laughing so hard!:laugh:

-Z

 

[kmox29]

I had an FO one time pull a stunt from Super Troopers (I think). He tried to sneak in saying the word "meow" as many times as he could during the PA. He started to lose it when I was holding up fingers as an ongoing count of the "meow" events.

 

[OPECJet]

I had an FO one time pull a stunt from Super Troopers (I think). He tried to sneak in saying the word "meow" as many times as he could during the PA. He started to lose it when I was holding up fingers as an ongoing count of the "meow" events.

That's awesome!

For 20 bucks, I'll say chicken f-cker on the PA.

 

[Peter Griffin]

I have, on more than one occasion, told the pax that the F/A was on American Idol, give her a round of applause, and, if they ask nicely, she might sing to them.

 

[BoDEAN]

ok its official..im bored...im sitting at home (on reserve), cant go very far....something to pass the time....please everyone...share with me your rendition of the worst PA anouncements youve ever heard....please remember im bored!


annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd GO....

Forgot where we were flying to, so in my PA brief to the pax, I said "Your weather at your destination today is ..........."


LOL. Don't know if that counts. 6 days on, 29.5 hrs, does that to ya =)

 

[John Pennekamp]

I was flying with my wife as one of my FAs and I beat her to the gate... in other words, made it to the gate before she finished her announcements. I called her up to give her crap about it and said "you and your stupid d@mn skyteam announcements, you took too frickin' long". She calls the cockpit and says "you're on the PA, idiot!" My FO almost choked laughing.

 

[B190Captain]

I flew a whole month with a guy who would start moaning and rubbing his nipples whenever I started to talk over the PA just to see if I could make it through without losing it. Once or twice it made for a good gag, but then it just started to freak me out a little.

Actually it would have been better if he was a she!

 

[gatorbird]

"Weather's nice in Tampa with a slight breeze out of the south, Chickenf*ckers!"

gator

 

[sociald]

Flight to Bangor, MA

Ladies and gentleman, from the flight deck, welcome aboard flight xxxx. I'm Capt Smith with first officer Doe, Christi is in the back and were going to bang her. It should take us about 74 minutes to bang her, and we are expecting a smooth ride. If your not going to bang her you are on the wrong flight!

 

[Stealthh21]

I have, on more than one occasion, told the pax that the F/A was on American Idol, give her a round of applause, and, if they ask nicely, she might sing to them.

I was on a flight the other day, and she did end up singing, aparently was her birthday too. Was that you? CMH-BWI SWA

 

[snap145]

"Weather's nice in Tampa with a slight breeze out of the south, Chickenf*ckers!"

gator

dont forget the standard "bakaaaaaah" chicken noise at the end

 

[WorldOnTime]

I had a certain ATR instructor pick up the intercom, and rip the loudest fart while I was making my PA. :blush: The passengers couldn't hear it, but I could. I had to stop and gather myself before continuing.

That lucky SOB is now flying boxes out of ANC for FedEx.

What's up I.L.? (if you're out there in flighinfo land):beer:

He is actually in the pool to fly boxes out of MEM for FedEx. Should be on property soon. And yes, he is a farter.

 

[Leroy Smith]

Nonreving one night, several minutes after a PA:

"mumble, mumble, rablerable"
pause
"washrable, mumble 76, rable 0"

"Washington, Delta 1676, 350."

"Hello Washington, Delta 1676, 350."

"Washington Center, Delta 1676, Level 350!"

"WASHINGTON CENTER! DELTA 1676! FLIGHT LEVEL 350!!"

was getting up to ask the F/A to call him when he finally figured it out. Made my night.