fo needs advice

[AA717driver]

There's a guy in my department who actually tailors what he eats before a flight to maximize his output. The ones that bitch the loudest get the bean burritos!

I got him, though, I always "keep one in the breech" when I'm flying with him. It brought tears to his eyes and I achieved a whole new level of respect in the department. TC

 

[BigPappa]

Topgun-Mav, you must've SHARTED yourself if he had to write you up. You must not be willing to tell the whole story!

 

[aeronautic1]

Dude...

... it's not so much the smell; rather it's the burning of my eyes!!

 

[El Bucho]

Dude, there is nothing funnier than a round of fart tennis on the flight deck. Our best match we were both on the mask and then asked the FA to bring us some drinks. She refused to bring us anything because of what she could smell through the cockpit door. hahahaha, that and walking through the crew room with the remote control fart machine tucked in my pants. Very funny.

EB

 

[P3tarbaby]

Just say, "Bird away" and smile...then roll down the window...oh, sorry, that's what I do in the car...my kids think it is hilarious...wife, not so much...

 

[Birdstrike]

"..a fart is funny, they're like little timeless bubbles of humor...I don't trust anyone who doesn't find some humor in a discrete fart in a well ventilated area.

I totally agree. And there were studies done in Germany during Oktoberfest that proved that gas is a by-product that must be released for the body to function properly. Blocking release fouls the colostropic check valves resulting in skyrocketing blood pressure, severe abdominal cramping, and weight gain. For the sake of your own health, regardless of the incredible humor, you must release the pressure, man!

 

[WillFlyFoCookie]

This is the funniest thread I have ever seen! Farts are just funny to people of all ages and backgrounds. However, I'm not sure if women think it's funny. Has anyone ever witnessed a woman even crack a smile when farts are present? Or even better suspected a woman of actually letting one go? Do they do it at all? My wife and I are very open with each other but this is probably the one topic that is "off limits".

 

[Birdstrike]

However, I'm not sure if women think it's funny. Has anyone ever witnessed a woman even crack a smile when farts are present?

Never. Strictly a guy thing. Same as The Three Stooges. There are some things in life that women are just not meant to understand. Gas and slapstick are two good examples.

 

[Propsync]

Hmmmm....

Has anyone ever witnessed a woman even crack a smile when farts are present? Do they do it at all?

Yes and yes. Boy, do I love my wife. Now where did that rent check for the doublewide go?

Have fun with it, or you'll both blow up. You could always call it 'Disappearing artwork'. Someone else called it 'fart tennis,' that was f'in funny, man.

 

[TopGun-MAV]

i'm glad some people find my post funny. captains are conspiring against me and have said that if i pull amything with them that i will loose my job, and end my career. all my hard work down the drain. i fear that there is more then meets the eye and my career is nearing the end.

maverick(jet fo)