We've had this discussion here before. There is no way to get a DOT alcohol test due to a snide comment. The DOT forms have these check boxes:
- pre-employment
- random screening
- accident/incident
- reasonable suspicion.
"Reasonable suspicion" is very strict and a manager trained in the recognition of drug or alcohol abuse has to personally observe the behavior and symptoms prior to requiring a test. Note, this doesn't say, "pissed-off co-worker", or "passenger trying to be funny", it means that someone who has been through a specific class on recognition has to vouch for the test.
Otherwise, there's no test. You have to check the form, and "got my panties in a twist" isn't a DOT check-box.
I bet you could get off, and demand a test and call your union and your chief pilot and your mother-in-law whining, but the drug and alcohol folks aren't coming out.
On the other hand, you might be able to beg a police officer for a breathalyzer test, they can give 'em to anyone. But that doesn't count under the DOT standards. The cops don't even have a form to fill out if you pass one, so what good is it?
In the end, I suspect the stories about the crews getting off a flight for a test are true, but I doubt very seriously whether they ever even got a test.
If they did, there was some very serious regulation-breaking.
The DOT/FAA regulations covering testing were put together very carefully to protect covered workers from being harassed into getting tests, hence the strict definition of "random" and the very, very strict definition of "reasonable suspicion".
So go throw a hissy fit and pout and refuse to come back on until your passengers all grovel and apologize, but don't bother doing the alcohol test. You're not getting one.
And if you do get one, someone (including you) has broken both DOT and FAA regs.
And I, for one, will be pissed off about it, because willfully throwing protections against dangerous harassment out the window for a hissy fit is not good for any of us.
The last think I need is to go for a drug test every time someone who doesn't like me decides I should go pee in a bottle. Or blow in a straw.